Sunday, January 17, 2010

Officially Badass

I think I do a lot of pretty cool things, you know, like getting drunk and making an ass of myself and... wait. No. But I do cool things. I went to the zoo and the Museum of Anthropology on Friday. That was pretty neat.

On Friday night Miss A, Miss J, and Miss J's novio and I went to Garibaldi plaza and saw a super kitsch Mariachi show and consumed a bottle of tequila. That was probably my most expensive day to that point, having spent over $50 dollars.

Most expensive day until yesterday when I JUMPED OUT OF A MOTHAFUCKIN' PLANE! I don't know if it was ever something I had really desired to do, not enough to go out and do it, anyway. If y'all remember a couple summers ago when I was dating Mountain Man, he was big into crazy shit like that and I witnessed him BASE jump. I think, even when it was something frequently discussed, my attitude was, "Oh, I'm just not that crazy." But when Miss J asked if I'd be interested in doing it I said yes. Then I talked it up to everyone and got all excited but without really thinking about the fact that I would be jumping out of a mothafuckin' plane. It didn't really get to me until I was in a harness and sitting in a tiny plane with no seats, cramped in with the pilot, two instructors and my friend Miss J.

Even during the plane ride up to the proper altitude I managed to calm myself, my heart wasn't beating too quickly and I was breathing regularly. Then the door opened and I was strapped to my instructor, Luis, who luckily used to be an English teacher (so I could understand what the hell was going on) and then I was told to put my leg out of the plane.

NO TURNING BACK.

That was it, I was going to be jumping out of a plane. I could feel tiny bits of ice pelting my face (good thing I had goggles) and the wind, air, whatever was hitting.

"One. Two. Three. READY. GO!"

Then I was free falling with a dude strapped to me. My stomach was who knows where in my body. I was face down, I was upside down, I was falling from a plane. Then, as I clutched my harness again, Luis released the 'chute and we were gliding. The rushing sound in my ears was gone, the feeling of impending doom was gone, and I was looking at Mexican countryside.

I got to steer a bit, pulling down on one strap or another to go right or left. I wasn't panicked at this point, I was sort of dazzled by the whole idea of floating through the sky. For my landing I gave up on the running with Luis and landed on my butt.

IT WAS AWESOME.

After that we had some beers while waiting for videos and pictures and certificates before we headed to the house of some of Miss J's friends on the lake. We had grilled meat and vegetables and had rice and tortillas and drank more beers while we looked out at the lake. There were even fireworks! Tequesquitengo knew that it was a day to celebrate!

I told this to my instructor and I believe it firmly - I've risked my life in cabs in Mexico City many times now, if I can live through that, jumping out of a plane is totally not risky. Then we had another scary drive back to Mexico (City) and we went to bed because jumping out of planes and eating a lot is tiring.

Side note:

A friend of mine spent 10 days at a silent meditation retreat, she explained to me that it was difficult to clear one's mind of all thoughts, that it took days upon days of meditation but that it was amazing to finally reach that state. I think I've found a shortcut. Jump out of a plane. I guarantee you will have no thoughts. Your medulla oblongata, the most primitive part of your brain, is in full control. Your lungs breathe, your heart beats, and apparently you can still scream.

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