Friday, October 30, 2009


OK, aside from having to work on my FAVORITE holiday, this weekend (starting with Thursday, though I still had to work through today) has been and will continue to be HEAVENLY.

Thursday was SPA DAY and involved waxing, a facial, jacuzzi, and a massage. Nothing to complain about there!

After the spa business I attempted to hold an alt art meeting, but thanks to illness and other obstacles, Miss B and I were the only ones to show. Luckily, my explanation of the issue with the JRE properties (they don't already insure their buildings or something?) piqued the attention of someone who may have a space to offer. Cross your fingers.

Then there was my first ever Costume Creation and Prep Party and it turned out really well! Miss A, Miss E, Mr. L, and Mr. R came to work on costumes, other people decided it would be a good idea to work on costumes, and still more people were just hanging around for all the fun.

All the fun being: Chippendales?

My friends are dressing as Patrick Swayze and Chris Farley from the SNL skit where both men are trying out for Chippendales. Here's the result of a bit of time and effort, some painting, some sewing, some cutting, some velcro...

So, tonight I have Mr. J's birthday, a housewarming and going away party at Miss L's new place, plus music at the 'Vous and tomorrow is real Halloween, which I'll be spending behind a bar, but people have been promising to come by and visit. Then Sunday is Miss A's birthday so I will be wearing purple and supporting the Vikings while enjoying a barbecue and maybe some bloody Marys after a long night. Hip hip hooray!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

What the Future Holds

I got my PFD - that's right, FREE MONEY. Well, sort of. We all pay for it in the sense that it's from the rape and plunder of this fair land, but I figured I would use my blood oil money to get the hell out of this place for a little while.

In January I am packing up.

I found out that the campaign might not be quite over, but a booked ticket is a booked ticket, so here's the plan.

New Year's Day I fly to Redmond/Bend, Oregon where I hang out for a week while my sister pops out my nephew. I will see family and get to hold a lovely baby boy. Awesome.

On January 7th, I head to MEXICO for TWO WEEKS to hang out with my friend Miss J, whom I haven't seen since I went to Wula back in 2008. I'll be hanging out in Mexico City for much of it, which I think still counts as the largest city in the world. I can go to museums and pyramids and all kinds of fun stuff. Then we'll head out to someplace like Acapulco or other beaches on the weekends. I just bought a swimsuit today, it's retro.

But before then, I have a lot going! I am getting ready for HALLOWEEN! It's my favorite holiday, though this year I'll sadly be stuck working on the actual day. Oh well. I may have to plan some sort of prize to get people up there at some point, otherwise it'll be me dressed as Ebi Nigiri all by myself. I'll probably drown my sorrows in Sake. Or maybe plum wine.

Also making some progress on the Alt Art show. Mr. M came up with some logos and I called about a space. I think I messed up which street it was on a dozen times. It's on Franklin, not Seward. Oh well. With any luck, we'll have it figured out within the next few days. Maybe even tomorrow. Once we have the logo and other stuff, we can send out a call for submissions and start picking through the things we'll want for the show. Yessss.

Oh, and tomorrow is spa day! I'm going to pamper myself so much. It's going to be glorious.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Professional Relationships

I think that it is a sign that a professional relationship is not all that professional when you look at your phone and realize that you've texted your boss at a half hour to bar close with the following:

"What up, slut. I'm at the Bergmann with [Miss A]. Where the fuck are you?"

It's especially HILARIOUS if you know that the boss is a 35 year old man.

How does a night deteriorate to this level?

It starts with white wine and a salad for dinner (should have included some carbs), then it includes champagne and lots of vodka.

Other highlights? I told the Mexican guy who works at the hotel that I would pay him to make me tamales. I did the chicken dance. I bet there are more. I just don't remember them.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Prank Calls

In a fit of ADD, I decided to watch the "Bunny Shorts" and ended up seeing their recap of The Ring. I watched it when I was either a senior in high school or a freshman in college. I was at home in Redmond at my parents' house and had stayed up late with my sister and her best friend. After we had watched the whole movie I thought it would be absolutely hilarious if the phone rang and my sister and Miss K got scared. Luckily, I had a cell phone. I managed to dial the house phone from the couch and I waited for it to ring.



Well, something obviously went wrong.

I ended the call and dialed again.

And waited.

And waited.

I think I must have tried it three times. Finally, I gave up. I don't know what was wrong with the stupid phone, but it wasn't ringing and the time period during which it would be funny had passed.

The next morning my mom complained to my sister that the phone had been in her bedroom all night and that her stupid friends were prank calling the house.

I never corrected her.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Cozy Little Life

My BFF Miss N, who lives in Portland, has a cozy little life. She and her darling husband Mr. A and the adorable kitty Yuki have a nice little place, zero drama, and of course they are head over heels in love, even after the honeymoon phase has undoubtedly ended.

I, on the other hand, just completed a quasi-bender. It doesn't quite count because I was only in true "bender mode" for one night, but I did consume alcohol and I did stay up until obscenely late hours for about five days. This included an extra two hours of weekend thanks to Alaska day, some late night dance parties with Miss A, and plenty of Wii bowling. I know, that sounds totally rock 'n' roll.

Tonight I am refreshed to be curled up on the ghetto couch watching Netflix on demand. As suggested by a friend from high school, I am watching Californication. Part of me doesn't want to admit to it, but I have to say that there is something about the show that I really do like. Maybe it is that the main character is a pretentious douchebag, just as I can be (thank Mr. M for my "snooty bitch" title), that it's sort of raw, or maybe it is that it does a pretty good job of portraying relationships. I know, I know. It's a Showtime Original, not a literary masterpiece. Just gonna say that I nearly teared up when David Duchovny's on-screen daughter gave him the speech about being consistently let down and basically told him to fuck off.

If you have read regularly and long enough, you might know that I spent Christmas of last year with my own biological father, step mother, grandmother, and three half siblings, one of which, a seven year old brother, I had never met. So, when I was 11 or 12 I, without actually saying "fuck off," told my dad the same thing. When I was 13 years old, I was hundreds of miles away in another state and continued to say the same thing, with more fervor. Aside from my high school graduation I didn't see him for approximately ten years. So cute little emo 12 year old reminds me of my side of the story, but I really wanted to shed a tear for David Duchovny because, well, he's pretty fucked up, but he obviously loves his daughter. I wanted to tell the little 12 year old character, "If you turn your back now, you'll never have a real relationship with your dad, it'll never recover!" Is it for the best? Is it for the worst? Is it a wash in the end? Because, let's face it, what real tie is there between a father and child after conception? And a mother and child after birth? It's all relationship. Love isn't in the DNA.

Oh, hey, got a little deep there. Watching Showtime Originals, eating chocolate, getting sappy - this probably means that next week is going to be lame.

To add a little levity to the end of Alaska Day (observed) I leave you with some good news and a little Alaska Day pub crawl anecdote:

I have found a wonderful new roommate, so my money woes mentioned in the last post are somewhat lessened. Hooray, good news!

And after a ridiculously fun weekend playing Apples to Apples with new friends, including a lifetime bartender in her early 50's who could make a sailor blush, I locked the doors and closed up shop. Fellow friend and bartender, who shall remain unnamed and unnicknamed, staggered down the steps and lurched to the bar, I looked to see if there was anything I could do but after touching down for a moment he grabbed his phone and walked to the back. I watched El Drunko stagger back past the entry, back past the bathroom, back into the back room. I mentioned the mysterious destination but didn't think much of it, as the man can generally hold his liquor.

After I finished closing, after we played a late night game of Wii bowling in which I kicked everyone's ass, El Patron went to check on El Drunko, who was not in the bathroom (which, I guess I knew) but, rather, passed out on a table in the very back. He was stirred to wakefulness and guided to El Patron's guest room, where he went to sleep. I did some more cleanup once I had the bar to myself again and then gathered my things. Except my phone. Where was my phone? I searched the bar, the tables, the floors, I emptied my purse and backpack. It was nowhere. Then it hit me. El Drunko grabbed "his" phone from the bar. My phone was on the bar. He must have grabbed my phone. So I went to El Patron's house and asked where El Drunko was. Upstairs, passed out, guest room.

If he reads this, he might feel violated, so let's hope he doesn't. I went upstairs and into the room. He was passed out and snoring. I tried to coax him to a lucid state with words, then gentle prodding, then with louder words and less gentle prodding. Then I sucked it up and decided that I would reach into those pants pockets if I had to, damn it. So I lifted up the covers to discover he had removed his pants, but thank Hanes for underwear, I didn't see a thing. I found the pants on the floor and searched the pockets. Nothing. Well, not my phone at least. There was some cash, but I'm an honest woman, there was still cash when I gave up the search.
In a last ditch effort, I borrowed Miss A's phone and returned to the scene of the crimes, all the crimes, and I called my phone. Once. Twice. Then, another epiphany, I went to the back room and like a fuckin' private eye, I found the phone where El Drunko had apparently passed out. Finally, at almost five in the morning, I could go home and go to sleep. Happy Alaska Day.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Money, Money, Money, Money

I don't have much money. If you want to get technical, I have negative money. I have approximately $28 in my bank account, $18 in my pocket, $8 in quarters for laundry, and about $20k in debt.

I'm one month from having paid off one full credit card, that leaves three more credit cards. Brilliant, I know. Those probably add up to less than $5k in debt though - the real debt is in the student loans. I would ignore them completely if they would just quit calling me.

So, when money is tight, when you've got $50 to your name, when payday is still a week away, creativity is in order.

Let's talk about how I'm frugal. And how I'm not.

I bought a TV. I miss watching movies in a screen that is more than 10.1 in diagonally. This baby is 19 inches diagonally. That 8 inches more is going to make a huge difference. After spending all that money on a TV, I decided I would do the responsible and frugal thing - I posted that I wanted a DVD player on I got one. But I didn't get the cords that connect it to the TV, so I'm still staring at a blank screen.

Today I only bought fresh healthy foods to make a soup for dinner, kind of like I did last time I went to the grocery store. Only last time I was too lazy to make the soup so the mushrooms completely dried out. I thought that I had just dehydrated them and that maybe I could salvage the crimini mushrooms by soaking them in water. But they were sort of funny colored and I was uncertain so they got tossed anyway. I should probably start composting. Another annoying thing at the grocery store - my card didn't work - was my online banking lying about that available $28? I had to put the stupidly expensive razor and a thing of flour back. When the woman took the flour back it broke, I really wanted to ask if I could just have it for free since they probably had to throw it out anyway. But I have too much dignity for my own good.

I bought a dress I don't really need and two pairs of shoes this month. Completely unnecessary. But I haven't gone out drinking nearly as much, which probably makes up for it. I also bought slip covers for my couches, because they are gross looking, which is probably cheaper than buying new shitty couches for my ghetto apartment.

Let's be honest, I'm still incredibly irresponsible and bringing in $2000 a month is rough on a girl who has to pay bills and also have a happy social life.

Anyone out there want to be my sugar daddy?

Monday, October 12, 2009


I'd like to thank the federal government for providing me with a paid holiday, but I am definitely not in the camp that approves of Columbus Day. I live in a community with a fairly large Native Alaskan population, I can see everyday that I started with an advantage from way back at the starting line, hundreds of years ago. I won't get into it, but I hope you take some time to reflect on the history of genocide and marginalization.

In lighter news, I had a fairly wild weekend with some late nights, some drinking, some Scrabble, some Apples to Apples, some Discovery Channel specials, and some Trivia. If it sounds geeky, that's because it was. Some of the time. I'm pretty confident that the new guy at the bar is trained well enough that he can handle the bar on his own - which he's doing as I type this - and I am looking forward to not working until the actual day I am scheduled to work next weekend.

The best news is that I checked on my PFD status and I have been deemed eligible to receive $1305 for allowing oil companies to rape and pillage my adopted home. It'll probably just go toward paying bills and rent.

I've also chosen a Halloween costume and am again excited for my favorite holiday - it's first place because of my love of wearing costumes. Second place is New Year's Eve - based on my love of wearing fancy dresses and drinking champagne and making bad decisions.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Like Watching Paint Dry

Someone's been boring lately and that someone is me.

After the 24 Comics event I slept, and slept, and worked, and slept, and worked, and slept, and worked, and slept, and worked.

Not terribly exciting. I'd like to recommend you find some paint to watch dry.

Only things of interest:

  • I've committed to co-MC a breast cancer fundraiser - I just bought a pink taffeta dress and sparkly shoes for the occasion.
  • I've got another meeting to talk about the alternative art show this evening, not sure what kind of progress to be made, but perhaps we can hand out some assignments - time is limited.
  • My plants are still alive.
  • I ordered slip covers for the couches and a TV for the living room.
  • I watched the entire 5th season of Desperate Housewives.
I really need to get a life.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Sleep Deprivation Fest 2009

The 24 Hour Comics challenge was a success.

Five of us participated. Four of us stayed on to the point of delirium. Three of us finished our comics. One of us reached 24 pages. One of us reached 24 hours.

Curious where I stand? I reached 24 hours but only made it to 12 pages and I am not one of the three who finished.

But, the two of us who didn't finish have started projects we will undoubtedly finish, projects which will look soooooo good.

Here's a basic overview of the night - I updated a bit via Twitter, but tried to stay pretty focused on actually working on the comic.

7:45 pm - Arrive at JACC, attempt entry at wrong door, knock and knock, receive help, note that other entrance is unlocked.
8:00pm - Begin challenge, doodling and brainstorming.
8:15pm - Participate in some warm up exercises with fellow comic-ers Mr. M and Mr. D.
10:00pm - About 2 hours in with one page done, seems less than productive but one of the warm up exercises actually inspired the main character.
12:00am - 4 hours in, starting to contemplate the vastness of completing 24 pages in 24 hours, still hopeful.
2:00am - Boys start getting tired, caffeine consumption within group increases.
5:00am - My body starts reminding me that it likes to sleep sometimes, caffeine consumption increases.
8:00am - Mr. P should be finished with play, should be back for drawing. The lack of sleep is starting to get to me, a small breakfast alleviates some symptoms.
9:30am - So tired, must stay alert, hands shaking for some extra wobbly lines with the ink and brush, doing laps around room.
11:30am - Still exhausted and shaky, doing jumping jacks in ladies' room because it seems like an excellent way to wake up without jiggling in front of other people.
12:00pm - Lunch is served, by this point my body is realizing that the Friday-Saturday sleep cycle has been ignored, is non-existent, growing more alert.
2:00pm - Boys start getting delirious, Mr. P and I somewhat amused. High school boys don't need drugs, just sleep deprivation. At least for our purposes.
3:00pm - Only five hours remaining, boys delirious, competitive, drawing nonsense. Situation dire - I'm not making the progress necessary to complete 24 pages in 24 hours. Mr. P has decided to switch to smaller pages.
4:00pm - Mr. M has fallen asleep at table, Mr. D is pacing nervously, contemplating going home, 24 hour plays practicing at stage - too much muppet sound.
5:00pm - Boys have decided to finish, bound and determined. Working on ending in less than 24 pages.
6:00pm - Boys finished with comics, Mr. P starts worrying he might not finish, realizes there are 2 hours left, not just one, breathes sigh of relief. I've decided a rush would only ruin a really good thing. Tortoise-ing along.
7:00pm - Mr. P finishes, boys finished, Mr. OP and I continue working, pens and brushes dancing gracefully across white paper.
8:00pm - Time's up! Plays to start, displaying finished and unfinished comics for viewing.

Here are some photos:

I'll probably post images to Glitter Shrapnel at some point, possibly self publish.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Four and Twenty Hours.

In approximately one hour I will be joining some fellow artists at the Juneau Arts and Culture Center to take part of something glorious(ly geeky): 24 Hour Comics. It'll be coinciding with the 24 Hour Miracle, which is, I suppose gloriously... freaky. It's a play that is written, cast, rehearsed, and performed in the 24 hour window.

I've never taken part in a 24 hour comic event before and I am excited and also a little nervous. For one thing, I haven't even finished the next panel in JSMG which is nearly done - all that's left to do is color, I believe. I just couldn't get into it for the past few weeks. I think I'll have to make myself do it on Sunday so I will only have missed TWO WHOLE WEEKS and not three. Oops. I'm also nervous because I haven't quite come up with an idea yet. And maybe that's the way it's meant to be, maybe thinking about it in advance is cheating. And I am using traditional media, not digital, and the last time I did something like this I spent a whole semester on it.

Whatever. I'm going to do it, guys. I am going to make a 24 page comic in 24 hours. And it's gonna be AWESOME. Wish me luck. I took a nap this afternoon in preparation. I'm ready!