Wednesday, September 16, 2009

It's Like Rai-i-ain...

Personally, I live in a rainforest. The big, wet, wild Tongass National Forest. It is a temperate rainforest so there are no three-toed sloths or giant man-eating plants, no monkeys throwing fruit or feces. It's kind of like a normal forest but extra wet. Portland weather is NOTHING to Juneau weather.

Still, on my sister's big day* there is a 40% chance of rain. You wouldn't think it ominous except that the Thursday and Friday show temperatures in the mid 70's to mid 80's, partly cloudy. Sunday too. Only Saturday calls for showers.

Two reasons why this is significant:

1. The wedding is outdoors. On grass. How fun will it be for us to get stuck in muddy grass on our way to the alter? And hopefully her white dress doesn't have a long train. I just hope they have tents, just in case.

2. Alanis Morisette says rain on your wedding day is: ironic. Proving, of course, that most people misuse the word ironic. In any case, if Alanis Morisette thinks that rain on your wedding day is sucky enough to sing a song about, it must suck.

As the maid of honor, I've prepared a speech. It's, um, probably a copyright issue with Disney and possibly only funny to people with a similar sense of humor to my own - fine for my family, I hope. Unless I've used big words and everyone just calls me pretentious. Of the people I've shared the speech with (two) they have just about 6 or 7 degrees between the two of them. Maybe I chose the wrong test audience. I got decent reviews.

*This is my sister's big day because she has a vagina. The big day for someone with a penis is losing his virginity or something.


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