Saturday, August 29, 2009

Olympic Dating

Usually I try not to get all mushy but I'm pretty sure that I am not painting a complete picture without talking about this stuff at least a little.

Mr. CP and I started dating not that long after he arrived for his internship, I'd say we were friends for three weeks and then we were dating. And we dated for about two months. That's not really all that long, I guess. But he's a super great guy and basically scored top points in every category. If dating me were an olympic sport, he'd take home a record number of gold medals - we're talking Michael Phelps crazy gold medal earning.

I may have to admit that I'm weird and that categories might be proven in some of the following non-existent competitions:

Obscure music collecting: Has anyone else ever heard of it? Has anyone even heard of the genre? Is it possible that someone just recorded static? If you answered NO to the first two and YES to the third question, you will probably score really high.

Web-comics creation/appreciation: Do you read webcomics? Do you make webcomics? Do you like MY webcomics? If you answered yes, you will probably score really high.

Love of environment: When my sister was younger she loved bacon and when anyone would ask her what she loved more than _____ she would say "Bacon!" and if you ever asked her what she loved more than Bacon she would respond with "Bacon!" Somehow my sister is about as far from obese as you can get without falling through tiny cracks but the real point for this is that if you are going to love something more than me, the environment is probably the thing to love. I may be sort of resentful that the environment ranks higher, but not really. High points.

Genius level: You can be a lot of things, but if you aren't smart, you aren't going to keep my attention. I'm actually super turned on by guys who are smarter than me. The smarter the better. If you can run circles around me intellectually, pillow talk can be nuclear physics, whatever.

How left can you get without falling over: I am liberal and I like my men so left leaning that I have to stand on that side to prop them up. If picking you up for our next date involves unchaining you from a tree, I won't actually be too upset. As long as you bicycled there.

I'm exaggerating slightly, but only slightly. If you meet or exceed expectations in these categories I've probably already had an orgasm. That's why, for me, Mr. CP quickly won my heart. And now he's back in DC where he has a whole life.

I thought I would resume my life and my old ways in his absence, but certain things are sort of ruined. Like other guys. Last night I tried on a dozen outfits and decided in the end that I didn't really care and went out wearing a high cut cotton tee, a denim skirt, and the xtra-tuffs. I was swigging from a giant schooner of PBR. I was disinterested in most things and people, wondering when Miss B would show up. She didn't.

I got hit on. A bunch. It was crazy. I thought that it might be a good idea to have a scandalous whirlwind affair with this really attractive fisherman but you want to know what? I am still infatuated with Mr. CP and not even a cute guy buying me drinks, putting his arms around me and trying to kiss me was going to make me forget. So much for dating or even having mad affairs.

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