Monday, July 20, 2009

Dysfunctional doesn't do them justice.

While walking to work I decided to call my aunt. She calls me every once in a while but I am usually on the receiving end of the phone calls so she was sort of surprised to see my name pop up. We talked about the usual stuff, about my little cousins and work and whatnot. Oh, and my sister's upcoming wedding.

I mentioned that a friend of mine would be in Oregon later this summer too and that I might want to bring her to the wedding as my date. Hilarious, right? Me bringing my lesbian friend Miss M as a date to the wedding? Yes. Then my aunt told me a fairly outrageous story which must be shared with the internet world.

Apparently my mom told my aunt, my uncle, family friends, anyone who would listen that she had asked me if I was gay. Not true. She asked my sister if I was a lesbian and my sister responded with something along the lines of, "Yes, Melissa is a big ol' dyke." I called my mom out on it and assured her she wouldn't have to disown me. So, she told everyone that she had asked me but that I had not answered conclusively thereby prompting all of my dads friends to declare me a lesbian. Apparently there is a faction of people in Redmond , Oregon who think I am a lesbian because of a rumor my own mother started.

Do I still want to bring Miss M as my date for the wedding? More than ever.

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