Thursday, July 30, 2009

Best Laid Plans

Yesterday I slow cooked an entire pork roast to make pulled pork tacos. I live with one person. And she had a dinner date with her brother. At around 6:30 when the meat was already cooked and I was wondering what I would do with 30 tacos, I decided to make a facebook event for an hour later and send out a ton of text messages. How many takers? 2. Luckily I used the bar as my dining room and fed many a hungry man who had come to play poker.

Mr. CP and I were playing pool last night and I was kicking his ass. Well, I won most games. But ass kicking probably involves being skilled and I was not skilled. I made some good shots, but it certainly wasn't the best ever. Perhaps with a level table, unmarred felt, and a straight cue I could be a prodigy.

Miss J is packing her things. Something tells me she isn't going to be packed and out by Saturday. That something is common sense and my vision. The apartment is actually more frightening than before. Not only is it messy and full of junk, it is also now dangerous because of bags and boxes strewn about the floor. The place also looks depressingly bare with all the pictures removed from the walls.

Yesterday I ran into a lawyer friend of mine, she lives very near me. We ran into each other and started talking and then she showed me her home and told me that I was welcome to borrow one of their two cars if ever I wanted. Talk about nice neighbors! The offer alone deserves some baked goods.

Speaking of people being friendly. My friend Miss AG is leaving town (good for her) and donated a bunch of kitchen stuff to me, including matching plates, some glasses, mixing bowls, chopsticks, etc. This works out quite well, since Jessica is leaving and since there was no care taken to have matching dishes or proper cookware before. I also have a couple bread pans, pie pans, and a bamboo mat for rolling sushi. I foresee dinner parties in the future.

Despite some plans falling through and other plans not being made, it must be noted that things generally do work out in the end. I'm lucky like that.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

My Muses

Saturday night was so slow at work. I was actually doing my best to coerce people to drink. Sunday was much better, however, since Miss MM was playing!

The past few days haven't been terribly eventful, as I've been working during the evenings. I've mostly been spending a lot of time with Mr. CP and some time with my roommate.

She's declared tomorrow packing day. I bet myself $20 that she doesn't get it done. If she does, like Farva, I'll lose $20 TO MYSELF.

I'm sad to point out that I didn't have a high quality comic last Friday. That being said, I think that the world can look forward to a nice story arc coming up. I was lamenting my lack of inspiration to Mr. CP and he mentioned a short story he had written quite a while ago that might be turned into a good comic. I gladly accepted the invitation to collaborate and have started working on the project. So far I have the titel page and one panel.

I might have a roommate lined up. Mr. L might come live with me (for the third time) and ditch the man-house he is living in now. The nice thing about living with Mr. L is that he is pretty relaxed but not a complete shit show. And since he has a girlfriend I am not too worried about random skanks.

I'm getting settled into the new job these days. I just got an e-mail detailing the benefits. It's pretty exciting to have that to look forward to. I can get my eyes checked, schedule a dental appointment, and not freak out completely at the idea of visiting a doctor. It's also nice to know I can look forward to regular pay that I can have deposited directly into my bank account, rather than having to constantly hunt down my employer and his checkbook when I am desperate to pay my rent and bills. Speaking of such things, it's about that time again.

Did I mention that Miss J bought season 1 of True Blood and that I watched the entire first season in less than 24 hours? Uh oh. I crocheted 3 or 4 hats while watching. It's probably got no real merits but it was certainly engrossing.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

I need to win millions of dollars...

If I blog it, it will be?

The last post detailed in brief my need of a real job with real benefits. Lo and behold, I am now the holder of a job with benefits. Not that I've given up on serving tending bar. I now ALSO have a respectable day job. Assuming you respect saving the environment, which I do.

In honor of this job, I have purchased an Acer Aspire netbook and am typing away on this baby as we speak. It is so tiny and cute - something women seem to adore. It was CHEAP and I am sorry to say I bought it at Walmart because some woman (possibly a plant) told me they had a better deal than at Costco. What can I say? I'm poor.

It weighs less than 3 pounds and is, because it is less than several years old, a zillion times faster than my Dell Inspiron hunk of plastic and silicon bits. Mr. CP and I picked it up today and I'm enamored with the little thing.

In other and possible more interesting news, I've spent the last two nights dancing to the music of Spoonshine, a band out of Anacortes, WA and also saw this really indie adorable band out of Michigan. They wore capes.

I also saw my 5th JUMP Film Festival since living here and have to brag that my friend Mr. PD is AMAZING at what he does. And check out the AK Robotics site to see some shorts they've done. Speaking of AK Robotics, Mr. PR, Mr. MW, Mr. CP, some high school kid and I are going to probably start some geeky comic club. Also, Mr. PR was featured on Scott McCloud's blog - if you know who he is you are also a big geek but will totally appreciate that my friend is now basically a celebrity.

I also just alerted the world that Miss ER and I are having our birthday party in August. Check it out on facebook if you are from Juneau. It'll be brilliant.

Monday, July 20, 2009

I need a job with REAL benefits...

Usually my life isn't terribly exciting. Neither is my job. Every now and then we'll have some busy night that fills my pockets with tips and keeps me on my toes. A lot of the time I am sitting around blogging, looking for other jobs, crocheting hats, reading novels or playing pool alone.

Sunday was really slow. Then as the night neared a close something crazy happened. One of the regulars came in with a stripper. She wasn't immediately recognizable as a stripper. But then she took off her clothes and performed what I would call a professional routine. She had very few tan lines and large fake breasts. I know. She grabbed my hands and had me feel them. There's not much that really needs to be said in detail, but it was an interesting end to the night and entirely unexpected. And sort of strange.

I had a phone interview today for a campaign job. It has potential. Part of me wants to say yes if only because I know I can get it and that is some guaranteed money in my pocket. It's also better than sitting around and waiting for other things. And it is pretty relevant to the direction I've been heading. It would probably let out in time for me to work for the legislature (trying AGAIN) and I've heard there are a couple openings for some appealing positions. I have been waiting to hear about another job but am feeling less and less confident as I didn't even receive a return e-mail to my last message sent. Things seem to be coming to a head - I should have it figured out, at least temporarily, by mid August, if not sooner. Cross your fingers!

Dysfunctional doesn't do them justice.

While walking to work I decided to call my aunt. She calls me every once in a while but I am usually on the receiving end of the phone calls so she was sort of surprised to see my name pop up. We talked about the usual stuff, about my little cousins and work and whatnot. Oh, and my sister's upcoming wedding.

I mentioned that a friend of mine would be in Oregon later this summer too and that I might want to bring her to the wedding as my date. Hilarious, right? Me bringing my lesbian friend Miss M as a date to the wedding? Yes. Then my aunt told me a fairly outrageous story which must be shared with the internet world.

Apparently my mom told my aunt, my uncle, family friends, anyone who would listen that she had asked me if I was gay. Not true. She asked my sister if I was a lesbian and my sister responded with something along the lines of, "Yes, Melissa is a big ol' dyke." I called my mom out on it and assured her she wouldn't have to disown me. So, she told everyone that she had asked me but that I had not answered conclusively thereby prompting all of my dads friends to declare me a lesbian. Apparently there is a faction of people in Redmond , Oregon who think I am a lesbian because of a rumor my own mother started.

Do I still want to bring Miss M as my date for the wedding? More than ever.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Hausfrau Hysteria and Halloween in July

There's this addiction, it's terrible. It's causing me bodily harm, it's eating up my cash, it's keeping me up late hours and distracting me from the important things in life.

The horrible addiction: CRAFTS.

I'm developing calluses on my fingers from sewing. I spent nearly $150 on craft supplies in the past month. I have crocheted numerous hats, sewed a costume for the Half-o-ween party, and painted, etc.

I can't account for the sudden wave of creativity and productivity (I've even baked) but it is not unwelcome. I hope it doesn't leave me too soon.

I think the semi-monthly craft brunches with Miss E are partially the cause for the frequent crafting. Plus having a great idea and an event for which to create a costume. Great motivation.

I never thought this would happen to me but... (not a penthouse letter) I did a couple's costume. I was planning on leaving my Friday night open to hang out with the friends but while telling my mom about my costume I had been working on she asked what my boyfriend was going as. Why did I ever tell my mom I'm seeing someone? It's her new favorite topic. I told her that I didn't even know if he was going and that I try to maintain a level of independence, especially since it's expiration dating (he leaves late next month). She started talking about couples' costumes and I explained that I didn't even know what I would do as a partner with time, the abstract concept I had chosen for my costume. Then it hit me. Space. Call me a geek (seriously, go ahead) but the idea of time and space as a costume pair was too good to miss. I called the BF and left a message on his voicemail that space was his prompt. In the end Miss A and I cut out and pinned stars made from paper plates to his black sweater. Pictures to come later, at least of my costume. He might not want to be immortalized in time and space and the internet with me. Had there been a third place in the costume contest, it probably would have been us. But there wasn't. Apparently the crowd wasn't geeky enough to appreciate our theme.

I managed to get quite good and drunk, I got hit on by random dudes, even as I was standing with the BF, and this old guy turned a normally harmless comment into what seemed like a vague threat to wear my skin by prefacing the statement with "Not to be creepy but..." At the end of the night Miss E came back to my place and we stayed up for a bit drinking beers (or intending to) and watching part of Transylvania 6-5000 (such a strange film out of the 80's) until all of us fell asleep on the couch and bed was suggested. I tucked Miss E in on the couch and headed to bed, exhausted.

Continuing with the domestic drive, I was looking at forms for bunt cakes today at Salvo. So ridiculous. Also, I smiled when I heard a child's laughter today. Someone punch me in the uterus.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

A Week of Not Much

I haven't updated in a week. Weird, right? If it weren't for my twitter updates people might have thought I was dead. I haven't had the internet in that long and I really haven't been doing much that would warrant an update anyway.

It's been a mellow week including some time in the sun, some time with friends, and time with the BF.

I've also been spending time trying to find a new roommate since my roommate is ditching me for her BFF and her child. I need a roommate badly. I've asked about 5 people and received only maybes for answers. The person most excited about the prospect has a cat, so that may not work out, plus she is apparently neat. That might cause her some unnecessary stress.

I don't have much to say about life and what's been going on - there's been no drama, no ridiculous excitement, nothing major.

At the last craft brunch I discovered that I, though a horrible crochet-er, am creative enough to supply the market with a delightful product. I'm spending a lot of my time making hats with ears and monster faces. Pretty awesome. The original goes to my sister's baby when it is born.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

New Kids on the Block and 98 Degrees

Boy bands of the past or descriptions of my life? BOTH!

On July 3rd I learned that I'd be getting a new neighbor and a new roommate.

Sarah Palin said it again:




She has ditched her post for who knows what reason. I think it was possibly a very selfish decision, but I'm still thrilled that she will no longer be the governor of our fine state, which Vanity Fair considers to be more like a third world country.

My roommate has also decided that she'll be moving into a place with her best friend of a zillion years who recently had a baby but broke up with the father. I think it might also have something to do with everyone else in the entire building being sort of noisy during the evening and night time hours when she is sleeping to get ready to work at the coffee shop. In any case, I need to find a new roommate for the months of August and September for sure. Hopefully a friend of mine from College will move up to Alaska and live with me starting in November.

My roommate told me today that I had to e-mail two references to the landlord. One from a former landlord - I'll have to talk to Miss L's mom. The other from my boss because she is concerned at whether I'll be able to pay rent. Which is a legitimate concern if I don't get another roommate.

Luckily, I may have the answer to my financial woes! On July 3rd I caught up with an acquaintance who works at a firm I applied and interviewed at. I didn't get the job. She mentioned that the girl they did hire resigned after a month so I decided I would extend a proposal (a couple of lawyers I know thought it was a great one): I will work for one week without pay and without obligation, if at the end of that week I have proven myself, I should be hired, if not, I will move on. The response was pretty positive. I think that it demonstrated moxie and gumption, things we don't often talk about these days, perhaps because they aren't so common these days. The response was that the proposal was an excellent one and that the perseverance I've demonstrated is admirable. Due to scheduling, the terms will be discussed in early August. Hopefully I'll also hear back about a job for which I applied a couple weeks ago. Thanks to the Supreme Court ruling in favor of the mine and against clean water the organization has been sort of busy.

And about the heat? It's been ridiculous. I moved to Alaska because I was desperate wasn't a fan of hot weather, not because I wanted the weather to be in the high 80's or 90's. It's been hot and sunny for the past several days and I have been enjoying it as long as I am drinking a beer on the deck overlooking the channel, paddling around in a dinghy out at Sunshine Cove, sitting on the docks during fireworks or while watching people jump into the channel (but not while a terrible Christian rock band performs), eating gelato or popsicles, at bonfires, etc. I have not been enjoying sweating and getting sunburns. Sunday was a hot day spent at the waterfront both on the docks at at the Hangar, though I had to work during the evening. Mr. CP got back to town and came to see me, which made the evening a pleasant one. Monday was beach day though, my roommate, some friends and I went out to Sunshine cove with some single person rafts and food and spent hours paddling around and soaking up the vitamin D we so lack. We also went to the Twisted Fish for dinner and drank some beer and had some light fare. And later in the night a bunch of people went out to False Outer Point to hold a bonfire in honor of Miss P's last nights in town before she heads to Arizona. Today couldn't really compete on the fun scale, but on the heat scale it was pretty comparable.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

How I Could Just Kill a Man

Hangovers automatically knock a few points off any given day, but I wasn't prepared for how unpleasant things were going to be.

After the relief of WM being alive (we texted) I was almost alone in the bar most of the night.

First batch: The MGD drinkers. I don't know why but Miller is pretty much the trashiest beer ever. Sorry Uncle J. Every person who first thing orders MGD is either white trash or sometimes other colors of trash. Trash, though. The first couple people in the bar tonight ordered MGD. One woman tipped, the other didn't. The one who didn't tip may have been insane.

Second batch: Good people over all, but sometimes I wish I could control who pays for the drinks. On a $45 tab I was tipped $4. That is less than 10%. Sure, I wasn't the most chipper person ever, but I wasn't rude, I didn't do a poor job, I didn't flirt with her boyfriend. I guess some people just don't understand that tending bar is not a benefitted and well paying position without tips.

Third batch: A regular who sometimes always gets on my nerves a little came in with another guy who was possibly really high and definitely sort of awkward and not that bright. This time, instead of just getting on my nerves, he drove me crazy. He walked into the bar with an open beer from home, he acted like that was fine, then he was loud, obnoxious, and feisty most of the time he was there. He acted like he knew everything about everything and was mostly wrong. He was being rude to the other guy, who was sort of annoying me because I was already irritable at this point and because he didn't seem to get what I was saying repeatedly. I actually closed the bar early because I couldn't tolerate any more of that shit. Oh, and when douchebag closed out he didn't tip that well either. Usually I will deal with him because he usually tips well, being in the same general business, this time I felt like the tip wasn't worth the hours that I spent wanting to kill him or me.

I was contemplating making a shank out of straws. That bad. Mr. G and I did it once on a really slow Sunday.

Oh, and in case you were unaware, this was a Saturday. A money night for bartenders. I didn't make money. I wish I had stayed at home, though I did gain some peace of mind knowing that my friend wasn't dead in the bathroom. It was also sort of funny to see the door off the hinges.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

The good times are killing me.

When I walked up to the place there were cop cars and officers walking around, I thought for sure the infamous WM was dead. My stomach was in knots. I knew that I would be implicated by my Twitter update. Curse you, technology, how will I ever become a politician if I've got a skeleton in the bar bathroom my closet. But there was no police tape. Nobody stopped me as I walked anxiously up to the side entrance. I went and cleaned stuff up a little before checking on the bathroom. If there is going to be a scandal, I couldn't have anybody saying the place was a mess. When I did go over I saw that the light was on and the door was leaned against the adjacent wall. No body.

Either they clean up crime scenes really fast around here or my worst fears were not coming true. Considering the quality of our police force, I'm going with the latter.

The pins for the hinges were on the bar along with the knife, the spoon, and the drink strainer. Hardrock Sam was not at his usual post, instead up against the side wall. There were firecrackers on one of the stools. Otherwise the place looked surprisingly together. I mean, aside from the door to the men's bathroom being off the hinges.

The rest, it's hard to say: I watched fireworks on the lower docks with Mr. E, drank copious amounts of alcohol, danced to Wisconsin Slim's last performance ever (never say never), drank more alcohol, visited most of the bars at least briefly, and hopefully kept at least a shred of dignity because this won't be the last Independence Day celebration I attend in this town and I'll need some remaining to lose later. It's budgeting one's dignity. I've never been good with budgeting.

Wish I could say that last night was the only night I was tearin' it up downtown. It wasn't. Thursday too. I got a call from Miss K inviting me to join her and the ladies out. It was all a deliciously lovely downhill slide from there. Up until waking up in my bed fully clothed but smelling like booze and puke. I think I took a shot of J├Ągermeister with Mr. C. He tells me we also made out. Mr. C is gay. Very gay. It probably doesn't count, then. It also doesn't count if I don't remember it, right?

Oh, that shred of dignity I was saving for later? I think that was it being publicly shed via blog.

I'd like to say that I've learned a valuable lesson about binge drinking, responsibility, and the like. I think you'd call me out on that being a big fat lie. Kind of like when I declared that I'd never drink again. A BIG FAT LIE.

In positive news, Miss P and I made up and someone gets back to town very soon. And I'm still alive. And so is the infamous WM.