Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Now is not the time!

Why doesn't blogger have beer goggles like gmail???

I've been lacking internet access for the past week. At least. I know I could go elsewhere to get it, but having it at work is so handy when I don't get customers all that often. Today I crocheted a friggin' hat! Okay, maybe I started the last time I worked, but now I am finished. And I am halfway through another, though it needs a smaller head to be really functional. Oops.

I haven't been up to a whole lot lately. I did have a lovely craft brunch with Miss E. We had brunch and we did crafts. Not much more to say. Miss E and I have birthdays very near each other though, so hopefully we'll be having a super awesome joint birthday party.

Today had its rough moments. Mostly it was just fine, but I did have to do something very difficult. I have sort of a management position, though it isn't terribly official. But I had to tell one of my best friends all the negative things I've heard about her work performance and exercise some doubt in a suggestion she made. It was really hard to do! I think that it is similar to the last time I was in a supervisory position because again, I was friends with people first, and having to express something negative to someone you really like is hard! It was easier to do then I had expected though, because she had sort of let me down recently by being sort of flaky. It is a pain in the ass to have to fill your shifts while you are already on vacation and a four hour time difference away. I didn't bring that up, but the fact that I had to take time out of my much needed vacation to fill shifts and train people via cell phone was a huge annoyance.

Mostly, life has been good. Mostly life has been working and having fun. I can't really complain about my life right now. I've even been on some dates, which is a positive thing. It's a bit different than the dating relationships I've had before. Mostly because it makes a lot of sense, though that doesn't make it any easier to make any commitment or to give up any bit of independence. I still have no idea what I want in life, so it makes it really difficult to date anyone at all. It's nothing serious at this point, I suppose, but it still makes me think a lot about what I want. That immense amount of thought related to what I want makes it hard, even if it is irrational for this particular situation. Oh my.

It rained again (in the rain forest) so I have been hanging out at home a bit more. With my roommate,. which is nice. But at the same time, I am still hoping to kayak, hike, and go camping this summer. I'm still hoping to make friends who have boats or something, so I can go out and fish or just hang out on a boat. It would be fun!

I've gotten my computer to cooperate a bit more, a bit to my disadvantage. I was talking about how iTunes wasn't working, but then suddenly after downloading and using Winamp, iTunes started working again IN GERMAN so now I have all my music library and some playlists on Winamp but my iPod (which is the super old first generation mini) wants to start working with iTunes all of a sudden, which doesn't have my music library. My German friend, Miss I, has offered to translate if necessary, but I haven't had a ton of time to work on that since the internet has been out at work for over a night.

The boss, who is also a lawyer, has been working on a motion and I feel pretty tied to it since I've edited it for grammar and clarity, but he didn't even notice the internet was out until tonight, so this is when it got fixed. That's why I'm blogging while drinking a beer and probably less coherently than is meant. Ooops.

That's why it's not the time. I should blog when I'm fully capable of expressing what's going on in my life coherently and acceptably, when instead I'll have no problem stating how scary it is to me that my younger sister is both pregnant and engaged. Oh dear.

Maybe it'll work out perfectly. But maybe it will be a difficult situation! I don't know. And because she is my sister and one of my best friends, it stresses me out!

I am also going to include that I've been a mess myself for my own reasons, which makes everything that goes on a little harder to deal with. Whew. Breathe.

Things are going to be just fine, but life is both overwhelming and just fine. What's a girl to do?

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