Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Every day I die a little...

So. I think it is a certainty that I'm going to get cancer and die. I just wasn't meant for this world, at least not for too long.

I got a sunburn. It was sort of bad. I'm still donning the pink skin of that fateful day in the sunshine. Was it worth it to drink those delightful Raspberry Wheat beers from Alaskan Brewing on the deck at the Hangar, overlooking the Gastineau Channel and the float planes?

I thought yes. But then I noticed a little red spot. That's abnormal. Then I decided to look more closely and saw a dark mark on my back. Not a Harry Potter dark mark, but sort of a misshapen freckle in a darker than normal color. This is great. I probably have cancer. That goes really well with my bartender's pay and my no insurance. And I'm not the glamorous type of bartender either. I work at the bar that nobody can even find. I've had two customers tonight.

I also smoked cigarettes last night. Because getting cancer naturally wasn't bad enough, I like to inhale chemical smoke into my lungs. Brilliant.

And my Grandma had cancer. Double friggin' mastectomy.

Oh, and pretty much everyone gets HPV, apparently, which causes cervical cancer. Looks like I can say goodbye to my shoulders, lungs, boobs, and cervix. I was hoping I would wait until a later age to fall apart. I should probably ask my doctor about the glorious little cancer spot or whatever it might be. If I'm lucky it's just me being a hypochondriac.

On a lighter note, Miss G is in town so last night turned into a full fledged girls' night. I showed up at the Hangar with Miss AH, where we ran into Miss B and Miss R, Miss G showed up and later Miss M, and Miss L joined us when she finished her shift. We had a particularly raucous and inappropriate conversation at the Hangar and then went to the Alaskan. My girlfriends have accused me of not being properly excited about good things that happen to me. But Miss B pointed out that I am more likely to be pretty calm through the entire thing and then get very nostalgic once it's all over. I must be spending all my extra energy on worrying that I'm dying all the time.

I took Saturday of last week off. I rarely take weekend nights off but I determined that I should help out with the JACC fundraiser. I did help out a lot before and some during the event, but once it was over I joined a group of lady friends who were celebrating a birthday. I may have gotten pretty trashed by the end of the night, but Miss T saved the day (as we both saved Miss N) and took us to the Valley Restaurant where we had breakfast at 3:45 in the morning.

I've been meaning to be productive during my days, but except for today, I haven't really. Today I was only somewhat productive. If you count nearly completing a 2.5 ft x 2.5 ft painting productive than I am successful in that endeavor. If you expected me to do laundry or tidy my room or something, you'll be sorely disappointed.

Oh. Sunday was productive! I went to the market and picked up some ingredients for making some delish crepes at Craft Brunch. I made crepes (actually just really thin pancakes, though I think I'll do real crepes next time) stuffed with ricotta cheese and topped with strawberries that had been simmered in balsamic vinegar and brown sugar. It sounds strange but was delightful. I didn't end up doing any crafting, but when Miss E and Mr. K came in to the bar later that night Miss E and I did come up with more songs or albums or gimmicks for our future band The Sexecutioners.

Friday, June 26, 2009

The Birth of an Oversharing Blogger:

“This post is a part of 20SB’s Looking Back Blog Carnival, and Ben & Jerry’s is awarding free ice cream to lucky bloggers and readers!”
These are my first two blog posts in existence. I used to blog elsewhere. Hard to believe I've been blogging for over 5 years now. Enjoy!

My odd dream from a couple days ago...

[info] Deleted!
I am being arrested. (first journal entry to start that way). Apparently while I was driving the day before I had caused a car accident that killed someone. I thought about it and had no idea when or where this may have occurred, as I had driven a lot, and didn't remember any close calls. Someone had turned me in, someone I knew, but I couldn't place the name or face. I was being threatened with life imprisonment, and they wouldn't even tell me when or where. I was in Mock trial for two years, so I was representing myself. I was trying to come up with a good argument in my defense, things like, my windshield wipers are bad, my windshield was dirty, my headlights are dim and the high beams are no better, the roads were wet... I still had no idea when or where or who or why... So in the end I merely consoled myself with the thought, "hey, I didn't kill them on purpose, it is manslaughter, that's only 7 to 10!"

My eyes are dilated...

[info]Deleted!
Ay carramba... I don't recommend going to the optometrist and getting your eyes dilated and then driving when there is a shiny sheet of icy snow all over everywhere causing the entire town to be a white reflective blinding obstacle course. Nobody was harmed, it's ok... and even if that were to happen, it is manslaughter, right? Haha, tying it into the other entry... I am too clever. Anyway, I had this urge to drive with my eyes closed. I kinda did at times, but for the most part I just squinted to the point where nothing looked like anything anyway. It is a FRIDAY! I have to make good use of my Friday, last one before school starts again. Uh oh. Am I ready to start thinking again? I know I am ready to escape my hometown... where the most common activities are pregnancy or death. I guess I just don't fit in here... ya know, not having babies and being alive and all. So I guess it is time to say goodbye to my good ole' home town again. Until summer. Then I must avoid death and pregnancy at all costs... even after leaving to college for a year you aren't exempt from the death thing...
I blogged only occasionally in my first year of blogging, but these are the first two posts EVER. I blogged with Livejournal and had a nice little "community" blogging and trading comments with friends and classmates, etc. After a point, my blog was too personal and too public, causing me to leave the Livejournal behind. Even today I have a tendency to over-share. Think I've changed much as a blogger?

**I am not linking back to the blog of yore. It's still in existence at least for my reference. I think most things are made "friends only" or "private" but in my peak days of Livejournal blogging things were pretty gory. Maybe there will be a blog carnival requesting us to share from the middle of our blogging experience...

Did I miss something?

When I was a wee college freshman, my biggest worry was that I'd miss out on something. I'd stay up, yawning, sitting in the lobby with my new exciting college friends. I don't recall if it was the upstairs R.A. or the area coordinator, but one of those wise souls told me that I wasn't going to miss anything if I went to bed, or even if I did miss something, it wasn't the end of the world.

I still get that feeling I'm missing something on so many occasions. But it's not as bad as it once was.

I went and watched a Swedish vampire movie with Mr. CP. I ran off to the bathroom during the opening credits. When I returned he said I hadn't missed anything. I watched the whole poorly dubbed movie and watched to the very end when the end apparently mirrored the beginning I had missed. Guess I did miss something. I guess Mr. CP had heard good things about the film, but it was sort of slow moving, sort of bizarre, and really terribly dubbed.

Tuesday was a work day of the slow but really pleasant sort. I got to talk whiskey with a handful of guys who stopped in for some drinks. I quite enjoy that sort of things. Mr. CP dropped in as well, which worked out well when most everyone else headed home to sleep before their work days.

Wednesday I had plans to go to the DMV with Miss R. I was attempting to get my Alaska driver's license for the second time. I brought my Oregon driver's license, my passport and I had proof of address. But OH. WAIT. They also want my social security card. I insisted, "I have my passport. That is proof that I am a citizen." Nope. Apparently it takes more to get an Alaska driver's license than it takes to get a friggin' passport. DMV FAIL.

After that adventure of mixed results Miss R and I hit the Hangar for some day beers and sunshine. But I hadn't put on sunblock. So it became an afternoon of day beers and friggin' future skin cancer. Awesome.

Luckily the night would not be spoiled! I had aloe with lidocaine at home, I took a nap, and I brought a couple bottles of wine over to Miss N and Mr. J's place where Mr. J had prepared a beautiful meal with a salad caprese, asparagus, asian marinated dolly varden over garlic cous cous and ribeye slices with aioli on toasted bread slices. Miss N made Thai sweet rice with mango for dessert. We were stuffed and sat around enjoying some of the last time we'd get to spend together before the two move to Skanchorage for Miss N's job.

I had managed to lock myself out of my apartment AGAIN but this time I knew that Miss J had locked the window I used before. Wow. This is awesome. I'm blogging about how to break into my apartment. Maybe that's a terrible idea. Without giving my inevitably existent stalkers an easy in to my apartment, I'll just say that with the help of Miss N and Mr. J, I was able to get into my apartment. Don't tell Miss J.

Thursday I made Mr. CP work late by coercing him into going to lunch during the day when he had lots of work to do. Then I ditched him after a half hour anyway because I had an appointment which got sort of rescheduled for another time. Though I was a little valiumed up, I joined Miss K to do some volunteer work. We worked on the auction for the Bash for Cash benefitting the Juneau Arts and Culture Center. After we had made a lot of progress on that we headed out and I grabbed some vitals for the impending bonfire. The bonfire was for a new Juneauite, Miss AP. I had yet to meet her, but Miss H wanted her to have a nice birthday bonfire so I was invited anyway. It was small, just me and four others, including Miss H, Miss J-M, Miss LA, and the new Miss AP. We had a great time and I feel pretty proud of the little fire I built. I have been living in Alaska for over two years and I've been camping and doing outdoorsy stuff for far longer but I don't think I had ever been the one in charge of starting the fire. I built a nice little pyramid o' wood with some kindling and some cardboard and a piece of printer paper for the tinder. I developed a big red blister on my thumb from using a bic lighter to get things started and had basically given up on the fire entirely and sat down in a camp chair when finally the smoldering paper caught the cardboard on fire and then I headed over and lit more cardboard and stuck it in through the slots, thus starting a bonfire. Yesssss!

Today I did more volunteering for the BfC auction and then headed to work. I am going to starve slowly to death here because I had left behind a quart of Pacific organic Roasted Red Pepper Tomato Soup for my next work day BUT IT IS GONE. I have a number of frustrations with work, obviously, and as I am sober and in my right mind, they won't be listed here, but DAMN. This is not easy and I definitely don't get paid well enough for what I do. But that's my fault. I took the responsibility on without the compensation. Mostly it benefits me just as much as anyone else. But sometimes it is enough to drive a girl insane.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

The Longest Day

What a day to spend in a mostly miserable mood: Solstice. Though a day is still midnight to midnight, yesterday Juneau celebrated the longest hours of daylight of the year. I believe the magic number is 18 hours and 18 minutes.

I was in a basement bar.

To be honest, I wouldn't have enjoyed going to some big bonfire that night, I wouldn't have wanted to spend my evening with hordes of celebrating people. But this would be the first solstice I didn't spend at some big bonfire since being here, and having missed out on the other big bonfire of the year (in memory of Bob Hirsch) and knowing full well that I'll end up missing out on the Independence Day festivities... This only added to existing depression.

Then the power went out. At first, frightening, then a relief. If the power is out indefinitely, there would be nothing I could do at the bar. I saved the logo design I had been working on and secured the bar, grabbing my purse and heading home. I called Miss L on my way home, talking with her and Miss AH. Miss L was going to a bonfire, Miss AH was unsure. Later she called back and invited me to hike Mt. Roberts with her. I had made it home and decided that hiking would be a lovely idea and I changed into jeans and a t-shirt and some dirty, ugly hiking boots. I then grabbed my water bottle and headed back t the Bergmann to pick up my backpack and some other things I had left there. On the way I ran into Mr. CP, who informed me the power was back. I went into the Bergmann and sure enough, power.

Now, if I were a less responsible person, I'd have pretended I had no idea and run off to go hike a mountain with my friend. But for some reason I felt obligated to work, so I took down my "check back later" sign and re-opened the bar, convinced that nobody at all would come and that I'd be bored and miserable and alone the whole night while the rest of the world would be performing primitive dances around bonfires and invoking pagan gods.

But, lucky me, Mr. CP responded to my text about being responsible by showing up and keeping me company. Though it was a slow night, on par with a Tuesday perhaps, I did see a number of people throughout the night, most notably Miss S, Miss LA, and Miss Jx at the end of the night.

Today I was a boring lump and slept easily until almost 2pm. Then I read for a little. Then I got ready and just went to work. Dull day. I did call one dad and now have to call the other. I was sort of dreading it in a way since I never talk to either and we rarely have much to talk about. Luckily we all have lives (could we talk about those?) and our conversations are generally short and relatively painless. Happy Father's Day!

Saturday, June 20, 2009

I woke up this morning...

I woke up this morning after a restless night's sleep and wondered who I was. I felt as though I've become everything I never wanted to be and nothing I had hoped. Why this sudden wave of depressing sentiments?

I think that when you realize that one of your most important friendships is on the line because you were being selfish and clinging to some victim mentality you are forced to come to a realization.

Not everything I did was wrong, not everything stated is right, but I committed enough crimes of friendship that I had to do an awful lot of thinking about what the hell I have been doing with my life.

I was operating as the patron saint of the bar. I swooped in and took on more responsibility than required for no more pay. I swooped in because I was there to pick up what others did not, I became the face and the voice of the bar. I have been attempting to take on managerial duties as well as publicizing the bar and its events I've been planning. Through lack of management the infrastructure has become as laid back as the bar atmosphere, something which may seem appealing, but which is not a very sound business plan.

Somewhere along the line I had the praise and adoration of many but had lost the respect of one of my best friends. It started with miscommunications, many of them, it seems. Now it's time for me to regain control of my life and who I am and who I become, not just control of the bar.

It seems that, now and then, I get so caught up in ME that I forget that my actions, whether they be deliberate or careless, affect other people. The last great friendship to be affected hasn't been the same since. Here's hoping I can fix this, now that I am taking ownership of my actions.

Friday, June 19, 2009

A Quaint Childhood Remembered

**Please note that I have consumed no alcohol before beginning this particular blog post**

I don't know why it came up, but Mr. CP and I were sitting in the cinema during the dull stuff before the trailers and I recalled the murderer for whom I used to babysit. And about a week ago, my sister reminded me of the pedophile who taught our health classes - including sex ed. I got to thinking that I had a fairly normal childhood, though I don't remember much of it and I sometimes request that my mother tell me if I actually had a horrible and traumatic childhood, cause to repress all those memories, but maybe it wasn't so normal, after all.

Every teenaged girl babysits. It's sort of a rite of passage. You are too young to get a legitimate job, too old to live entirely of your parents, and hiring teenaged girls desperate for even a little pocket money is the only real way for adults to go out and have dates or dinner out or, you know, murder people. When I was in my early high school days I used to babysit this little boy named Connor. He was a cute and energetic young guy who loved playing outside and board games. Once we had a scare when he was trying to catch a chipmunk and the end of its tail popped off in his grubby little kid fingers. We went to boardgames for the rest of the afternoon.

His dad would sometimes come and pick us up, though we couldn't have been more than a half mile away on the same network of dirt and gravel roads. He was a friendly guy. So was his wife. She was a runner and would frequently be seen running up and down the main gravel road. They were super normal, nice people with a cute kid. Then one day my mom called me with some juicy neighborhood gossip: he was arrested for a murder that had occurred shortly after I was born (and I'm going on 24 here). It's hard to believe that it is even possible.

Now, when I was in high school we had to have two health classes during our four years. The first was to occur during the first two years, the second was to occur during the last two years. I remember people used to joke that if you got Mr. Smith he was so shy about talking about sex that he'd turn down the lights during that whole section, presumably so nobody would notice his cheeks reddening or something. For a man with a kid, that seems silly.

My sister was a TA for him one trimester in school. She spent way more time around him than I ever did, since I had ony one class with him ever. She said that saliva used to gather at the corners of his mouth. We used to ride the bus with his son. After he was arrested for trying to cyber-seduce a teenaged girl (who was actually a police officer) on the internet, I teased my sister that he must have been drooling over her. Creepy more than funny. He was another seemingly normal guy. He was a high school teacher who nobody disliked and nobody thought was creepy. Though apparently he really liked teen girls. He also lived in roughly the same neighborhood as we did. Apparently it attracts real weirdos.

Some of the memories I do have from my younger childhood includes having to stay out late because our neighborhood in an East Bay city was the host site for a gang fight. Or then there was the time when the escaped felon was running around in the concrete aqueducts connecting our street to parallel streets. Apparently we lived pretty near this neighborhood where there were lots of gangs and drugs. My mom lied about where we lived so we could go to school in the Hills with the more well off kids. In a city with a pretty ethnically diverse breakdown, we went to the public school that was mostly middle class white kids. I think that, in our neighborhood, we were one of three or four white families, and including the Costillos and the Gutierrezes we were some of the few not sort of sketchy families on the block. I remember living in a neighborhood once in which we were able to ride our bikes and rollerblade on the streets, when we knew all the neighbor kids and one of them convinced me that black ants taste like pepper (they don't). That wasn't this neighborhood - in this neighborhood we would get to play in our backyard, our grandparents backyard, and maybe the Hodges' backyard.

Now I live in a town, in a community, where I know everyone I see and even strangers say hello. I hope to never discover that some acquaintance or neighbor is actually some sort of horrid criminal. Having Governor Palin as a neighbor is as much as I can take.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Now is not the time!

Why doesn't blogger have beer goggles like gmail???

I've been lacking internet access for the past week. At least. I know I could go elsewhere to get it, but having it at work is so handy when I don't get customers all that often. Today I crocheted a friggin' hat! Okay, maybe I started the last time I worked, but now I am finished. And I am halfway through another, though it needs a smaller head to be really functional. Oops.

I haven't been up to a whole lot lately. I did have a lovely craft brunch with Miss E. We had brunch and we did crafts. Not much more to say. Miss E and I have birthdays very near each other though, so hopefully we'll be having a super awesome joint birthday party.

Today had its rough moments. Mostly it was just fine, but I did have to do something very difficult. I have sort of a management position, though it isn't terribly official. But I had to tell one of my best friends all the negative things I've heard about her work performance and exercise some doubt in a suggestion she made. It was really hard to do! I think that it is similar to the last time I was in a supervisory position because again, I was friends with people first, and having to express something negative to someone you really like is hard! It was easier to do then I had expected though, because she had sort of let me down recently by being sort of flaky. It is a pain in the ass to have to fill your shifts while you are already on vacation and a four hour time difference away. I didn't bring that up, but the fact that I had to take time out of my much needed vacation to fill shifts and train people via cell phone was a huge annoyance.

Mostly, life has been good. Mostly life has been working and having fun. I can't really complain about my life right now. I've even been on some dates, which is a positive thing. It's a bit different than the dating relationships I've had before. Mostly because it makes a lot of sense, though that doesn't make it any easier to make any commitment or to give up any bit of independence. I still have no idea what I want in life, so it makes it really difficult to date anyone at all. It's nothing serious at this point, I suppose, but it still makes me think a lot about what I want. That immense amount of thought related to what I want makes it hard, even if it is irrational for this particular situation. Oh my.

It rained again (in the rain forest) so I have been hanging out at home a bit more. With my roommate,. which is nice. But at the same time, I am still hoping to kayak, hike, and go camping this summer. I'm still hoping to make friends who have boats or something, so I can go out and fish or just hang out on a boat. It would be fun!

I've gotten my computer to cooperate a bit more, a bit to my disadvantage. I was talking about how iTunes wasn't working, but then suddenly after downloading and using Winamp, iTunes started working again IN GERMAN so now I have all my music library and some playlists on Winamp but my iPod (which is the super old first generation mini) wants to start working with iTunes all of a sudden, which doesn't have my music library. My German friend, Miss I, has offered to translate if necessary, but I haven't had a ton of time to work on that since the internet has been out at work for over a night.

The boss, who is also a lawyer, has been working on a motion and I feel pretty tied to it since I've edited it for grammar and clarity, but he didn't even notice the internet was out until tonight, so this is when it got fixed. That's why I'm blogging while drinking a beer and probably less coherently than is meant. Ooops.

That's why it's not the time. I should blog when I'm fully capable of expressing what's going on in my life coherently and acceptably, when instead I'll have no problem stating how scary it is to me that my younger sister is both pregnant and engaged. Oh dear.

Maybe it'll work out perfectly. But maybe it will be a difficult situation! I don't know. And because she is my sister and one of my best friends, it stresses me out!

I am also going to include that I've been a mess myself for my own reasons, which makes everything that goes on a little harder to deal with. Whew. Breathe.

Things are going to be just fine, but life is both overwhelming and just fine. What's a girl to do?

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Take that, technology!

I may be speaking too soon.

My laptop is about six years old. My laptop would be entering first grade. My laptop would have probably lost her first tooth. My laptop had a near death experience, complete with flashing lights and bright colors. My laptop is covered in stickers, missing the V key, and won't play CDs or run iTunes. But she still turns on, goes on the internet, opens Microsoft office programs and will hopefully take a step toward the more functional because I am downloading WinAmp, which also syncs music with iPods and plays music. After all, what more could I need this baby for?

I did not lose the comics I thought I lost. Luckily I hadn't done anything so silly as emptying the recycle bin on my desktop, so the comics were still there. I successfully transferred the files to my external hard drive and have scheduled some comics to post.

Now all that is really left is to send the iPod touch to get fixed (fingers crossed) and I'll have everything in order. I vow to never puke on an Apple product again. Or drop it. Or whatever I did to it that night.

This week I'll have logged over 40 hours because I'm covering a shift and with shifts generally lasting between 8 and 11 hours, I'll have worked about 44 hours this week. I'm just hoping for a freak storm so that people actually want to spend their evening in a basement bar rather than out on a beach. I'll be honest though, when I'm not getting paid to be in a bar, I'm pretty likely to be at a bonfire out North D.

I wound up pulling a really late night, last night. Spent some time with a friend in need, edited a motion for dismissal and tried to install iTunes again. Epic fail on the last count. Today I intended to go outside and play, but I ended up trying to set up appointments and whatnot instead. Slowly but surely I'm working toward being responsible again. It's hard, though.

I know that I'm not going to get some big bail out like the big fancy banks, but I wish for it. It's their fault the economy sucks so bad that I am tending bar instead of working at some grown up job.

I'm not giving up though. I'm still applying for jobs and hoping that for one of them, I'll be the best.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Honest to a Fault

Usually the Berg is the most mellow bar on the face of the earth. Or at least the most mellow bar in Juneau that I would set foot into. Usually.

I've kicked people out on a few occasions. There's the guy who may or may not suffer from schizophrenia. There was a very belligerent Ted. There was that guy who smelled so strongly of alcohol I nearly got drunk from being within 10 feet of him. And then there was this guy...

This guy has been passing through the bar and the hotel for at least a week or so now. Sometimes people enter the hotel through the bar, though I frown upon it. My frown does little to discourage.

He's tried to bum a cigarette or a lighter a time or two. Every time he passes through the bar he is wearing exactly the same clothing, looking disheveled and he walks like he either has a bit of a limp or like he's really messed up on alcohol and or drugs.

I consider myself somewhat lenient with the residents of the hotel. Sometimes I'll pour them sodas if they are polite. Usually in a to-go cup so they can take them back up to their rooms. Otherwise I'd kick them out without even allowing them a drink.

Tonight this guy walked up to the bar, where I was chatting with Mr. CAP, and about knocked us out with his smell. It was strong. It was presumably body odor, though no body I've smelled has smelled quite so pungent. I asked if I could help him.

"I'll take a cherry coke."
"Well, we don't have any cherries."
"Well, don't you have grenadine?"
"Sure."

I went into the back room where we have some plastic cups, the cups I use to get rid of the smelly and vagrant types without straight up kicking them out. I poured a coke, added some grenadine, and handed it to him.

"Where'd you get this cup?"
"At a store, probably."
"No, where'd you get this cup?"
"In the back room."
"Why you get it from the back room?"
"Because it wasn't in the front room."
"No. Why'd you get this cup from the back."
"So you can take it with you when you go up to your room, which I am asking you to do."
"Why."
"Look, you need to go to your room, you stay at the hotel, right?"
"No."
"Well go to your room or out the door, wherever. You can't be here."
"Why?

(and I'm only writing what I could understand, he muttered a bunch of other stuff that was completely incomprehensible.)

"Would you like an honest answer? It's the smell."
"What?"
"The smell emitting from your body."
"What smell?"
"You must be used to it."
"I don't smell."
"Sir. It doesn't matter. You need to leave."
"Can you describe the smell?"
"I need you to leave. Now."
"No."
"Sir. If you do not leave, I will call the police and have you forcibly removed."
"Why I gotta leave?"
"Because I said so."

Mr. CAP, meanwhile, has been interjecting here and there, prodding him to go, using logic.
"You should probably just go, man, it'll be better that way. She's serious."

So I actually called JPD and stated that I needed someone forcibly removed from the premises. Explaining that I had asked him to leave and that he had been raising his voice.

"I wasn't raising my voice!" he declared, voice raised. Liar.
"Sir, I asked you to leave, please leave!"

I was put on hold. Then I was disconnected. The smelly possible vagrant went and sat at a table further from the bar. Waiting it out. Waiting to see if I was serious?

Eventually he just left.

The police never showed. Though, perhaps an hour later, they called to see if things were OK. Thanks, JPD.

I'm not sure if it was my honesty that made him behave in such a difficult fashion, though he was already exhibiting some unruly behavior by even questioning my decision to give him a plastic cup and suggesting he leave. It's my bar! I do what I want! I mean, the well paying customers won't stick around if it smells like the wrong end of a pig in here. It was for the business. And my delicate sense of smell.

Another note: Bastard didn't even drink his fuckin' cherry coke.

How very ordinary.

I may have accidentally deleted most all of the originals of my comics, including one or two which were never posted... Uh oh.

While trying to transfer the files to my external hard drive, I somehow failed. Miserably. I am sort of upset with myself for the mess up.

Technology kicked me in the face on that one.

In better news, I went to a bonfire for Miss R's birthday and consumed copious amounts of alcohol and laughed so hard I may have peed my pants a little. I made some new friends and had a lovely time.

The much anticipated camping trip didn't happen, due to the weather being less sunny. Miss C and I will be either going to see a movie tomorrow or going out with our rafts, depending on the weather.

Sunday, there should be a lovely display of domesticity thanks to a brunch and sewing party being planned by Miss E.

After flipping through a book of ladies' graffiti, I am really interested in doing stickers or posters. Must do some research. I also thought it was neat that artists in Toulouse started using acrylics and brushes for graffiti rather than the traditional spray paint. Though I am tempted to test out that oh so bad medium. Not illegally, of course.

Speaking of books, a friend of mine suggested I read a book he had recently finished and went so far as to bring the book to me the next time he came to the bar. I have started it and have determined that I like the narrative style even as I wonder if I should have outgrown reading books about being in high school. Very little makes me happier than receiving books. I like to give people books to read as well, but I sometimes hesitate because not everyone would be delighted with some of my recommendations. Probably. I'm sort of a book snob aside from the few guilty pleasures like the occasional pop lit and Harry Potter. Handing someone your copy of the Unbearable Lightness of Being might be a little overwhelming.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Now That's a Handshake and Other Anecdotes

It's been a busy weekend of working, though not much else. I could do a lot more, but when you work 10.5 hours in one go, doing anything strenuous isn't really that appealing. Sitting in the sun with a novel is about as outdoorsy as I can get on a day like that.

The weekend was much better than anticipated, more people than expected popping in for drinks and all good people. I think I have a lead for getting some art and perhaps some live music in this joint.

I've had some flirtations at work - I consider it to be part of the job. I dress cute, sometimes even somewhat provocatively, and I flirt with my customers. I don't know if it necessarily leads to more tips, though I wouldn't be surprised, but it makes the job more fun. Sometimes I can be completely oblivious of someone flirting with me, though. Last night, for example, a guy in his mid to late twenties sat at the end of the bar. Apparently he was flirting with me, but I hadn't noticed. Not until, on his way out, he shook my hand. Or more aptly put, he gave my right hand a mini massage while looking me in the eyes. Note to suitors, obvious is effective. I definitely knew I was being flirted with.

Today I had a headache and after taking a shower still didn't feel better. I collapsed on the couch and decided to relax and drink water and try to telepathically summon pain relievers. While I was lying, basically naked, in my living room, I was startled to feel the room shake, see the can lights shudder, and realize that we were having an earthquake. Luckily it wasn't anything topping the Richter scale, but it did bring back my only slightly rational fear of being naked when a disaster occurs. Having to flee my home naked or wrapped in a sheet, towel, or blanket is not appealing. I may have to rethink nudity if research shows that Juneau is likely to be hit by a natural disaster.

Speaking of disasters, my favorite toddler was out playing with her dad yesterday. I decided I would join in the playing and was playing a little game of chase the toddler. We were running around on the boss' lawn and porch. She decided to run down the partially unfinished steps with railing on only one side, heading instinctively to the right side - the unfinished side. She fell in the gap and started wailing. I ran over and looked down to see that she wasn't actually injured, just scared, and let her dad pull her up and out of the little space between the steps and the porch. Toddlers are enough to make a girl a nervous wreck. She was running around again in two minutes, but a little more wary of the stairs.

Hopefully the coming days will bring a little more excitement and the sunshine will remain. I have plans to go camping with Miss C and our little rafts.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Summer Time and the Living is Easy

I'm not working much these days. Mostly I am lounging in the sunshine, hanging out with friends, and doing outdoorsy things. It's summertime and the living is easy.

Miss C and I have vowed to keep it that way. Sure, we could get other jobs and work too many hours and make lots of money. Or we can work minimal hours and spend a lot of time going camping, lounging on beaches and rowing around in the awesome one-person-rafts we bought at Fred Meyer after our day at Sunshine Cove.

After spending a lovely day eating fruit, lounging in the sun, wading in a cold North Pacific and throwing the ball for Miss C's dog, we had the brilliant idea to buy flotation devices. That will bring hours of fun for weeks or months to come.

I also went to the Rotaract barbecue which was pretty nice. I made a new friend there, she's doing an internship in town and came to the barbecue with another friend of mine. We hit it off partially because I have a tattoo of the German word for love while she has a tattoo of the Dutch word for love. I was given a certificate for being the charter president and given a past president pin, which I wasn't really expecting. I had a half eaten cookie in one hand and was just glad I had chosen to look cute that day since there was a picture of me receiving the certificate and pin. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy.

I left the barbecue after a few hours with the new friend Miss A-Love and Mr. J. We went to Miss A-Love's place and Chicken Yard Park. I am a big connector of people and called my other new friend, the smartest guy ever, Mr. C-wiki-P, to come join us. Mr. CWP ended up talking a bunch, which I knew they would, and Miss A-Love and I talked about a bunch of stuff. Then we all parted ways. I headed to the Alaskan to see AstronoMAR perform for the one night I could and ended up hanging out with the boss and Miss M, Miss L, Mr. LL and others.

I did not end up going kayaking, I sort of bummed around most of the day, but then I went to dinner at the Fish with Mr. CWP and found that three hours passed without much notice and we went to the Alaskan for Open Mic, though everyone else in the world was at Marlintini's for the Stiff Little Fingers (I should have gone!). Open mic was good because I met up with Miss A-Love as well and some of the guys form TGABB played some stuff. I walked home after that and went to bed.

Today I didn't do a whole lot - things like buying sunblock and toilet paper (exciting!) and eating frozen yogurt (not as good as PinkBerry) and then swinging at CYP for a bit before going to work. Work. Where I am missing a sunny First Friday in which my friend has a show. Where I am missing Cinco de Juneau: FIVE bands in FIVE hours with FIVE dollar Alaskan beers and where all of my friends will be, having paid the mere FIVE dollars at the door. Oh, poor me, scratching my mosquito bites alone in a bar with my vodka-soda.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

I feel pretty.

Did the elephant man go out in the sun? Probably not that often.

Since returning to Alaska, where it isn't super hot and humid, I have been doing my hair again. I even bothered to use product. Some volumizing stuff. I think it caused my re-healing rook piercing to get sort of infected. My ear was feeling a bit sore but I can't see it, so when Miss B told me that my ear looked pretty bad, I was concerned. I had to pull at and bend my ear a bunch, but then I saw that my ear looked pretty gross. Elephant Man gross. There was a big tumor like bulge. Gross. That meant that I spent the rest of the night and most of today soaking my ear in nearly intolerably hot salt water to bring out the impurities. It was gross. But now it looks and feels much better. I can go out in public again! But not really. I'm at work at the Bergmann and not enjoying the sunshine and glory of a nice summer day in paradise.

Another thing that makes me feel pretty is wearing pretty things. Yesterday I gave in to the trends and bought a maxi dress. Miss B commented that the word/prefix maxi reminded her of feminine hygiene products, but I convinced her that people definitely used maxi in referring to dress or skirt lengths in this day and age. It's bright purple. Barney the annoying dinosaur purple perhaps. I'm waiting until the right day to wear it - should be a day when I can be seen all day looking fabulous. When will that be?

Since being back I haven't done a whole ton. I worked the whole weekend. That was really great on days when I had customers. On Sunday I didn't have anyone come in until I was contemplating going home early. And they were already pretty drunk and definitely high. If they hadn't been my friends I may have told them that I was closing early. Since they were my friends I served them and welcomed the company. Miss L stopped by too. At 1am I had herded them out the door and started closing. I was making progress until suddenly everything went black and I realized that even the bar can be kind of creepy when the lights are out. I texted the owner that it was dark and creepy and he came over and insisted that I give up on closing and go with him to gawk at the billowing smoke. Apparently something was on fire. Apparently, I discovered later, it was the place where one of my friends live. The power was out for a while and while the roadhouse was mostly saved, the house next door is pretty much burnt to a crispy empty box.

The ubiquitouos they say that bad things happen in threes. Number two on the list of bad things happening (only indirectly affecting me) happened when I was waiting with my backpack packed for Miss K to pick me up to go camping. We were to head out to Eagle Glacier cabin and join my roommate and apparently just one other person. But at 5pm when I was expecting to get a call saying, "I'm right out front" I got a call that said, "I got into a car accident. I won't be able to pick you up." I am a properly concerned acquaintance and was sure to ask if Miss K was ok - not hurt at all, luckily, but her car was totalled. I talked to Miss B who was stuck in "rush hour traffic" which I assured her was actually the aftermath of poor Miss K's car accident and that Juneau hadn't suddenly become some ridiculous big city with problems like traffic.

Instead of camping I ended up walking to the perseverence trail head and then back to Miss B's house via the flume. I didn't get too far on the perseverence trail, which isn't so bad since I was alone and I would much rather have a hiking buddy so, as I told Miss E, I don't die alone if a bear attacks. Miss B and I spent some time soaking up some sunshine and I had a beer (Miss B has joined the ranks of my friends doing weird cleanses and fasts) and then we went inside when the bugs started feasting on us. We watched Zach and Miri Make a Porno which I have determined would not have been a suitable date movie. At least not a first, second, or third date movie.

Speaking of feeling pretty. Another thing that makes a gal feel pretty? When a guy says she's pretty. Or beautiful. Or cute. Or anything like that. I doubt the "gee, thanks" that I manage to sputter after a compliment really expresses my appreciation for hearing such nice things.

Even though I didn't get to go camping, here are the things I am looking forward to doing in the next few days:

  • Going to Eagle Beach with Miss C and Miss E tomorrow to soak up some sun!
  • Going to Sandy Beach tomorrow with Miss K and Rotaract for a barbecue!
  • Going kayaking on Thursday with Miss B!
  • Going out on the town on Thursday for the first time in at least three weeks. Maybe more. I have seen a number of people since being back in town, but it'll be nice to go to the bars and mix and mingle.
And you, fine reader(s) may look forward to reading about these amazing things I do. I am sure it will be way more exciting than the story about soaking my deformed ear.