On the awkward-o-meter, the story I am about to share is probably at about an 8. Luckily it showcases how I've grown as a person and makes me a little proud.
After a day of calling people and gathering donations for the job-o, I came to the other job-o and started opening up. Usually the first bit of the night is empty and quiet, so I called Miss Oliveface (aka Sophomore year roomie) who had just returned from being abroad for nearly two years. Sadly this conversation was cut short because Mr. A walked in. At work customers take priority over long lost friends. I'll cut out all the useless details and get to the part where I serve him a beer and we sort of awkwardly chat about stuff. Amid chatter about life and the future and all sorts of things related to him and me and definitely not an us, there came a comment that gave me a bit of a start. "I heard you and Miss T talked about us (past tense - him and me)." Awkward pause. Possibly even pregnant pause. My pause can be pregnant so long as I am not. I finally responded with "Not recently." He then stated that he didn't think she broke up with him over something recently, implying rather blatantly that he thought our conversation may have had a direct influence on her dumping his ass. Now, old doormat girlfriend me would have probably apologized or explained or excused away this accusation, but new, strong, assertive me said, "Your relationship (with Miss T) is a lot different from OUR relationship (past tense!) so I don't imagine anything I'd have to say about you and me (past tense!) could really have an influence on your relationship (with Miss T, now also past tense). Then he apologized and said that it was a rude thing to bring up. Then he finished his beer, closed out, and said that he'd see me later.
If you got through that paragraph, congratulations.
Oh, boy, though. That is the awkward story and here comes the story that is sort of awkward but in a very positive way. It's about things that I like a lot: makeouts and cartoons.
Once, a long, long time ago, or January probably, an attractive male friend asked if I wanted to make out. Being the stupid self conscious and under-confident girl that I am, I assumed it was a joke and brushed it off. A bit later on, talking with a girl friend, I discovered that he may have, in fact, been serious. And I totally passed it up. Crap.
Once, less long ago, maybe in March, said attractive male friend (who is, for many other reasons, pretty rad) invited me to watch some cartoons at his apartment. I said yes, gladly, and we walked over. And we watched cartoons. We may have sort of leaned in for some almost cuddling as well, but when he started to doze off, I excused myself, thinking that it was perhaps not meant to be.
Once, really recently, maybe yesterday, said attractive male friend called my name while I was walking home (trying to keep my distance from another attractive male, with whom I am not allowed to spend time according to Miss B, and probably rightfully so) and suggested that instead of walking home I go with him and another friend of ours to the 'Vous for one last drink. I accepted the invitation, headed over, and when the same invitation to watch cartoons was extended I said yes. When we left, the mutual friend happened to head over with us as well. She sat on the couch next to him while we watched an entire disc of Aquateen Hunger Force and a full episode of the Simpsons, meanwhile, I was sitting on the sofa chair and occasionally glancing at Mr. Attractive Friend meaningfully. The meaning was, "when is Miss Mutual Friend gonna friggin' quit this cock-blockin'?"
Eventually, after Miss CT stopped by and the cops got called on our negligible noise, after watching all of those episodes, after two cigarettes, and after lots of brief conversations about other mutual friends, Miss MF and Mr. AF went out to smoke a cigarette and I stayed in, drank some water, watched the rest of that episode of the Simpsons, and waited. When the door next opened, it was just Mr. AF and I was already sitting on the couch. Finally. We did the whole sitting next to each other thing. Then the moving a little closer thing. Then the sort of awkward arm around the shoulder and cuddle a little thing. Then the awkward first kiss thing. Then we did the super awesome makeout thing. Finally.
Needless to say, that was a good time. Cartoons and makeouts. Makeouts and cartoons. Life doesn't get much better.
Today I was sort of giddy. Not super giddy. I have to not be giddy because I know that I am in no way allowed to get attached to this one because he's kind of a heartbreaker. There is just one girl to whom he'll really commit and really give his all. That girl is not me, nor is it any of my other girl friends who have apparently been through this same sort of thing. It's Juneau, nobody is untouched. So, whatever, awkward ex, Mr. A! I don't need your sassafras! I can get my thrills from other, cuter, less socially awkward boys. So there.
Now, on to planning for the Zombie Party! I'm really excited. Also - I think it could be a big party because a lot of people have heard word and I've even done some traditional publicity in the form of fliers here and there. Sweet.