Sunday, April 5, 2009

Giddy Like a God-Damned School Girl

Did you see that on my sleeve? Yes, that is my heart.

One problem that I have sometimes is being completely and totally open, honest, and vulnerable. I've had this really blow up in my face, but I can't help but have this desire to share my happiness and even sometimes my sadness, random thoughts, or when I am superbly giddy.

No need to dwell on when this blows up in my face though. I am just going to share right now and hope that this doesn't mess anything up or jinx me.

Now, there is a phone number in my phone I don't often call and don't often receive calls from, but when my phone lights up and that name appears, I can't help but get a big smile on my face and go all jelly-bones trying to act cool when I answer.

So, here I am, bored at work, checking my google reader and wishing people would get their butts over to the bar. Buzzzzz. Buzzzzzz. My phone is lit up and the name on the phone is [Mr. Mountain Man]. "Hey there." is my cool salutation. Awesome. As it turns out he is in Anchorage right now (which is not any nearer me than Seattle) and called to say hello. He's moving back to Alaska. Possibly back to Juneau.

I had to think critically about this situation. We dated for about a month last summer. We got along wonderfully and had a lot of fun. Our relationship ended because he moved to Seattle. When I went to Seattle, we ended up hanging out, but he had a girlfriend. My guess is that he and the girlfriend broke up. He's missing family and friends in Alaska. He wants to move back to Alaska. There is some part of him that still feels SOMETHING for me, just like there is this part of me that goes into full on giddy school girl mode when he calls. Based on another THE other "boyfriend" I am wary of the off and on thing, but I think the circumstances might allow for us to get back together if he comes back. I shouldn't hold my breath, but it's a possibility. It sounds nice.

In other news. I'm also happy that if all goes as planned, I'll have some delicious Pad Thai in my possession in no time at all. If not, $20 walked out the door with my friend and I am starving. Last night was a pretty slow night at the Bergmann, but I did walk out with a fair amount of tips. Not to mention Miss P covered for a couple hours while I went to Bowl for Kids' Sake for BBBS Alaska. I was on a team with Miss B, Miss R, and Mr. ER and I bowled really poorly. The free beer (1) and pizza was pretty awesome. It was also good that we managed to raise a little money for a good cause.

Today I worked at Boheme some, doing inventory. It wasn't as excruciatingly boring as I remember it being last time. I did show up at noon instead of 10am though. I should never plan something for that early in the morning after a night when I close the bar. Bad news.

Miss M is back in town, so she and Miss J and some others will probably join me at the bar at some point. I'm just not the first stop. It's ok. I'll go play some more pool by myself and maybe be stupid and giddy some more over a slight chance.

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