Thursday, April 30, 2009

The Sunshine Makes us Crazy

My freshman year of college, there were two guys rooming together in my dorm, dubbed the "Crazy Alaskans." When another Alaskan joined our group of friends, he was granted this title as well. To be honest, most of the Alaskans I met in college could easily be called "Crazy Alaskans." This isn't the bad sort of crazy since I obviously became friends with most of these "Crazy Alaskans" and even moved to "Crazy" Alaska.

You'd think it would be the isolation, the darkness, and the cold that would make the Alaskans crazy - a la Jack Nicholson in The Shining. It's not. It's the sun that makes Alaskans wacky. I have to include myself now, too.

This week it has been sunny and it has gotten to be in the 70's. For Juneau, a town in a RAIN FOREST in ALASKA, this is amazing. We are all running around in shorts and tank tops and sun dresses and sandals and lying about in the sun, walking everywhere, holding bonfires, drinking beers on porches, hiking, fishing, and camping. We hate our offices and sleeping late isn't an option. We have dug out our sunblock and bug dope, our swim suits and sandals, we're snatching pallets to burn and buying out the liquor stores' stocks of "Vitamin R."

I haven't been doing comics, I have been blogging less, I've been ignoring my e-mail, I've been trying to avoid the windowless office, and I've been HAPPY. Not just happy, I've been EXUBERANT. I have been carefree and feel like skipping. I love the friggin' sunshine. I've been to bonfires most nights, been out walking around, I've eaten ice cream cones and watched new freckles pop up.

The sunshine is making me ignore job prospects, take extra time off, show up late to work, leave early, it's made me reconsider "grown up" jobs and contemplate working outside.

It'll be another story when it starts raining again.

Happy Sunny Days!

Monday, April 27, 2009

Piglet Flu, Pool, and the Lazy Genius

I still have this cold. Grr. It's making me sort of sleepy and it makes me definitely not want to be at work. But I am. Luckily, I think I am almost done for the day. Plus, coming in today was very important, since I had to turn in my already late time sheet. I have been breathing much better today and don't have a sore throat or anything - it's definitely not a big deal. Nothing like, say, an epidemic flu that has caused around 70 known deaths worldwide. If I were to name this bout of illness anything, it would be the cuter, diminutive "piglet flu."

Last night was a slow night at the bar. I barely recall having customers. Miss N and Mr. J came in for a bit, we played some pool. Ol' Smokey and his new tenant stopped in as well. The new tenant is an old guy, probably in his late 60's. He got sort of drunk and lamented that he hadn't had a hug in ten years. I felt like this was a severe problem and, perhaps against my better judgment, gave the old guy a hug. As soon as he discovers that I'm a total commie pinko he'll probably regret it. As soon as he starts coming in weekly looking for hugs, I'll regret it. For an hour there, the place was doing alright, but it cleared out. I might blame Mr. J for coming in post-hike without showering. He smelled like "man" he claimed. Mr. EM came in as well, we played many a game of pool. I lost every single game. Mostly due to scratching on the eight. Amazing. Really.

When I went home Miss J was there and drunk. We ate chocolate candies and watched TV on DVD while she shared with me tales of her drunken night. The "piglet flu" has motivated me to not drink, so I didn't have any such stories - though I've got plenty of tales from previous debaucherous nights I could share. Will they ever run out? We actually fell asleep on the couch with the TV on. When I woke up again I turned off the lights and the TV and went to my bed. In the morning I left a clean bowl and spoon and a package of Annie's Instant White Cheddar and Macaroni for the soon to be hungover Miss J. Sometimes I'm a really good roommate.

While at work today I've been photographing all the auction items. I tried to get Miss L to come in and be my model, but she has been incommunicado these past few days. Hopefully she didn't end up dead in a ditch after that after party I heard about. [Call me.] It was also requested that I do a rather tedious job of copying and pasting text from one field to another for EVERY SINGLE ITEM. After doing a little poking around on the database, I determined that this act of tedium is absolutely redundant. I can't find Miss BC to tell her that it's a huge waste of time and resources but I sent an e-mail. If she insists I do it, I will, but I think that I could think of twenty other things that I could do which would more effectively use my time. Like writing this blog about how I am a lazy genius.

** Edit** The lazy genius has been declared the new expert on the database. No tedious copying and pasting for me! I hope this doesn't become one of those jobs in which I make myself irrelevant. Done that before...

I think I'm going to take the LSAT one of these days. Yep. Gonna do it. If I do well on it, I might go to law school. If I do poorly, I might go to art school. If I remain as poor as I am now, I'll probably not go to any sort of school and will instead start looking for a nice rich husband. Mountain man is out - after talking to him yesterday we brushed on the topic of finances - each of us claiming an inability to save money for the future, resulting in living paycheck to paycheck and often being sort of bum-like. I'm pretty certain he's not coming back to Juneau, which is probably for the better. Imagine the two of us, financial imprudence combined, taking on the world with tiny paychecks and deleterious spontaneity. One month was enough, rationally speaking.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Bring out the Best

Do you know people who bring out the best in you? Well, my friend Miss C, who was my sophomore year roommate, does just that. Proof of this is that we make an unstoppable duo and we are - I think - funny. Also smart. She, in her debut post on her post-travel blog, wrote about a conversation we had the other day. You should read it. She'll be writing lots of great stuff.

Sunshine and Swine Flu

Somehow yesterday was the first day I heard about this Swine Flue thing. I read news all the time, but it's sadly enough mostly Alaska news and even then, my main focus is politics. It wasn't until my nose got stuffy and I was feeling lightheaded that I determined I should look into this Swine Flu thing. I'm sure I don't have it, but I think having the Swine Flu would be worse than having the Avian Flu, if only because of the name. Animal diseases sound so horrible - things like Hoof and Mouth, Mad Cow disease, etc. It just makes you feel dirty and less than human. Diseases like this should be given names that don't make people feel like they've done something wrong to have acquired them.

Anyway, having a bit of a cold is a pain. I have gotten really lightheaded while walking too and from places. I have determined that I need to walk the longer way rather than wind myself on stairs. I walked up the steps from Willoughby to Calhoun and felt so lightheaded afterward that I was concerned that I might faint if I had to walk up anymore. I usually use the stairs because they are more efficient than walking around, even if it is a less steep incline. Boo! This also rules out hiking mountains and other cardiovascular exercises. Blech. It's sunny out so I really want to go on a nice hike.

Having a cold also makes me pass on drinking. Mostly. That's probably a good thing, but some people are very convincing. Last night I had half of TGABB in the bar with a couple other people. The bassist was included, which was great since I had just been instructed to talk to her by another bassist friend AND because I had just been looking at basses on the interweb. I started asking her about being a bassist and how she got her bass and next thing you know, after having served everyone drinks, they've convinced me that I ought to have a hot toddy and join them.

I hadn't spent a whole ton of time hanging out with them before - yes I had gone to the housewarming party for one of the members and I've heard them play countess times, but I didn't know any of them very well. I love them. They are wonderful people. I had a lot of fun hanging out and listening to stories about playing music, dealing with instruments, traveling, places they had lived, etc. The two stories that really stood out took place in Ohio and Montana respectively. The Ohio story was just ridiculous, involving staying in a renovated former funeral home and seeing someone OD. The Montana story was more lighthearted and told brilliantly by Mr. SB and Miss BM. It goes something like this:

There was big ol' drunk who was missing an eye from a past drunk driving accident - in Montana people seem to take drunk driving somewhat likely since there's usually nobody to injure - it becomes a victimless crime of sorts. Anyway, this guy, who had a funny name I can't recall, Big Willy maybe, he wad driving home drunk from a dive bar and hit a deer. In his drunk state, he determined it would be a good idea to put the deer in the back of his Scout - sort of like a Jeep Willy, I think - and he drove back to his place. Once home, he had forgotten about the deer and gone inside. Then he noticed the dome light was on and looked out to see the Deer was still alive and looking around the vehicle, no doubt stunned. Big Willy was stunned too. And drunk. He determined the best plan of action was to grab a gun and, from his porch, began shooting into the Scout, blasting out the windshield and shooting aroun six rounds before being sure that the deer was dead. In the back of his now shot up Scout.

After a few rounds of drinks, including a couple rounds of Irish Car Bombs, the crew headed out, but by that time I was joined my Miss TG. She and I ended up spending at least a half hour or so talking. About the mutual ex.

A few more people came in, some people played poker, etc. It was a really slow Saturday night, but I wasn't really upset, especially considering I have sort of a cold.

Also, I think I play pool worse with a head cold. I think there might be a legitimate correlation here. Anyone?

Saturday, April 25, 2009

A Little Taste of Downtown Juneau and My Sordid Life

Dang. Too bad this is blurry. Well - this is a website called Walk Score and it will rate where you live in terms of "walkability". My apartment scores an 88 - "very walkable" and this is something I can attest to, since I don't have a car or even a bicycle. Very rarely do I feel like I need to venture out into the part of the town that would require other modes of transportation. One of the things that I found amusing was that, while definitely accurate, it's still sort of out of date. It lists a restaurant within walking distance as "The Fiddlehead" which is now the Sandpiper - also a restaurant, and there are plenty more but no longer in existence. The book store it lists is an ADULT bookstore too. Scandal!

Speaking of Adult stores - Juneau's one adult shop just went out of business. I have only been in once. I left with arms laden with rated PG-13 rated foreign flicks and a cardigan. Still, it seems like a sad state of affairs when Juneau no longer has a go to shop for the needs of those getting it on, or not. Gottshalk's is going out of sale too. I went in today and bought some makeup and some sweaters. Usually I don't shop there, but it is the only place in town to buy higher end cosmetics.

Right now I am at work and though it is only 8 o'clock, I have already had to escort a drunk woman out. Good riddance! She managed to tell a story today that disturbed and offended me. She has two cats (one who was nosing around the hotel and bar last night) and she told a story about how one was out while in heat and a big black cat mated with it. Cats mating, that's harmless enough, but she referred to the cat as a NIGGER. I can't determine if this is more or less offensive than calling a person a nigger. Anyway, she's a walking shit show. Well, walking is questionable. I was practicing my pool game (which still sucks) and she called out to me, needed help getting to the bathroom. That's when I realized she was shitfaced - how did this happen? I walked her there. Then I went back to pool. Then I heard sounds and saw that she was sitting in a chair looking helpless. I had to collect her purse and walk her up two flights of stairs in her friggin' stiletto heels. When we arrived at her room she sat on the floor to dig for her keys, all the while the bar was unattended and I was wondering why I was stuck babysitting a woman who is nearly 60 years old. When she found the key I opened the door, ushered her in, and went back downstairs to shake my head and contemplate my future and how I would like it to NOT involve being an alcoholic, paranoid, walking shitshow of a cat lady.

She only started coming into the Bergmann recently, after she moved in, paranoid about a stalker. She used to frequent the Rendezvous during the daytime hours and still might. I remember when I was working there she once told me about her sex life. I wanted to box my own ears, claw out my own eyes, and perform a frontal lobotamy on myself.

Last night was a quiet night at the Bergmann. I have had better nights on weeknights, though I heard it was a quiet night everywhere downtown. Everyone must still be recovering from Folk Fest, or perhaps, like me, they are denying themselves bar time to make up for the money spent and the debauchery that occurred during Folk Fest. The few things that stood out about last night had to do with guys. Not really in a good way, either.

At some point, Mr. HG called. Then he called again. The second time it was about 2am. Calls that occur at that time, as I've said before, are about one thing only. SEX. So, this is a guy I was enamored with foolishly the first fall I lived here. For some strange reason I thought he was attractive and smart and worth doting on. Then he turned out to be kind of a jerk. We went on a date or two over the course of almost a year and during this time I dated other people, had flings and fun, and lost any interest in him. His best friend tried to kiss me once too. The last few times he called I didn't even answer. I did this time because the first call was a reasonable hour. In any case - he once admitted to me that I was the only person he had slept with in X months (possibly over a year now) and I guess that was supposed to make me feel special. That I was the only chick dumb enough to hop in the sack with this guy. Special. Yes. Or maybe he thought that it meant that I was the only chick that he thought was worth hopping in the sack with. Whatever. I told him I had a cold. Kind of true. Still a pretty lame excuse, this is backed up by Mr. E, who was cracking up over my muttering "DOUCHEBAG" before and after the call.

The other guy sitch was with with Mr. SP. We made out one night in November. He said things like, "your hair is perfect" and "your eyes are beautiful" and he seemed like he might know. He seemed like he might know a lot of things that would make him worth a girl's time. The question one must ask is how, at this age, he could still be single - if he's so great. Well. That means one of two things. Either he's not great. Or he's not single - which might also count as not great. According to Miss B, he's not single. Plus, the past few times he's wandered into my bar, he's had a different woman with him. I was tempted to pull him aside and ask him to be straight with me. "Is there a girlfriend?" "How many girls are you trying to play?" and "How do you pull this off?" Being a smart girl, you'd think that I'd ask these things and then slap him in the face, but I would probably ask these things and then make out with the bastard. Then slap him. Then maybe make out some more. He popped in twice last night. Once with a woman. Once on his own. The second time he told me, while shaking his head, that I was "so cute."

The final thing I'll say, since I'm on such a roll with talking about other people and how I interact with them, is about being a snob. I was talking about how my gut instinct, my initial reaction, is to be a snob. Sort of. I guess I just make snap judgments about people based on appearances, mostly related to how disheveled they might look or social class or something. But because being a snob is NEGATIVE I often find that I force myself to give people a chance despite my gut instinct. Usually this turns out poorly. Usually I end up kicking these people out of the bar, tossing their drinks, kicking myself for thinking that the smell was a sort of working class cologne or that the unusual gait was due to an old injury. Sometimes though, going against my basic snobbish instincts works out well. Last night there was a dude sporting an 80's bomber jacket and a mullet. He was with a group of people who ordered mostly sodas. While he was leaving he stopped at the bar and left me a tip even though someone else had gotten his drink and even though he hadn't been any trouble at all. Of course, that's one in ten. Maybe more.

** Look what I just found after writing this! An article about stereotyping!**

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Procrastination: A Novel by T.S. Garp

Last night I stayed up until past 4am. Ick. It was a chain reaction of things that led me to stay up so late. It's hard to determine whether one should go backward or forward in the telling of such a mire of things and events.

Backward: Reading. Working. Drinking and billiards. Working. Dinner and sunshine. Working. Working while effing around on the internet - let's be honest. Working. Oversleeping.

Forward: I slept later than intended and headed to work to make last minute calls and enter data, enter data, enter data. I can't enter data for too long without wanting to tear things apart, I also facebooked, blogged, read my RSS feeds, etc. It was sunny out, so near the end of the day I was excited to go out into the sun and have dinner. I tried to make plans with Miss L but that fell through. Again. OK, it doesn't ALWAYS fall through, but it's about 50/50. I ate my dinner outside at Silverbow, gazing at the mountains over the channel. Then I went back to work for a little while. Mr. T convinced me that I should take a little break from work to hang out with him and Mr. J at the Bergmann, where I went and played pool. Then it was back to more work. Then it was really, really late when I walked home, but to wind down from the walk home, I started reading The World According to Garp and found myself engrossed, reading at least a couple chapters when I should have gone straight to bed. I wasn't brought out of this engrossed state until Miss J came home to rest another hour before going to work.

Because life is just that much more fun when it is complicated I'll go ahead and share a little story about how I feel obligated to wave a red flag. When I showed up to hang out with Mr. T (and make fun of his face) and Mr. J, another friend of mine happened to be there. The crazy friend. The friend who stirred up drama in my life long distance. The friend, who even after my repeated declarations that I was not sleeping with her ex, nor did I plan to, asked one more time if there was anything between us. When Miss J asked her why she continued to ask me, or more importantly perhaps why she asked in the first place, crazy friend claimed falsely that I had been asking about him a ton. She had told me it was because of facebook wall posts - all two of them. In any case, she is, in many ways, a lovely and amazing person. I can see why a guy might initally have a bit of a crush on her, but the crazy - it comes out - there's no stopping it. Now, I don't know if Mr. J actually has any interest in crazy friend, but maybe it seemed like there was a hint of interest, I want to wave the red flag, I want to spray paint her bright orange as a warning, I want to attach a rattler - something. Part of it is selfish, sure, I may have just a little bit of a crush on Mr. J, but most of it is for his own good. Even if nothing ever happens with Mr. J and me, I don't want him to have to learn the hard way about seemingly harmless but actually quite crazy women.

Now I am updating the auction catalog - it's tedious. The database I once thought was quite user-friendly is not really as light and easy as I had hoped. The good news is that we've exceeded the fundraising goal. The bad news is this may be another late night. Luckily I am armed with granola bars, rice cakes, and organic little oranges. And smart water. And hopefully, tucked away somewhere, some motivation. Hopefully I'll get out with enough time to plod downtown to the Alaskan for open mic night before retiring to my bed to, hopefully, actually sleep.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

All's Well that Ends Well

I am taking another mini-break from the data entry. At this rate it might take me all night. The station manager may walk into my office to find me curled up under the desk, using a donation as a pillow. Today and yesterday we managed to pull in somewhere around $5,000 or so worth of donated goods and services, which makes me think that I'll feel just fine about this in the end. Take that, economy, some people are still generous.

It's been sort of a long hard run, with the poor economy and me being such a disorganized mess who can't get her ass out of bed at a reasonable hour. I also don't really like asking people for things. I briefly thought that non-profit fundraising might be an ok career niche for me (those lawyers said I should do it) but maybe not. It's sort of uncomfortable.

Last night at the bar reminded me that I need to get another real job though, the place was empty, more than Sunday even. I didn't close early, but I played many a game of pool by myself, listened to Opera with the owner, and started working on another comic. I also read. I also contemplated the universe. I also made and drank a couple frilly drinks out of sheer boredom.

Tonight I am missing out on some sweet bonfires because I'm doing data entry until this is all done. Luckily I did get to spend a couple hours in the sun today, walking around and having dinner.

I'm sort of weirded out that there is no radio in my office. I mean, I'm in a radio station... I have no music and there are no hooked up to my computer so there is NO SOUND but the humming and buzzing of electronics and the sounds of the building. And since Gavel to Gavel is over, I don't even have ridiculous politics to keep fill the void.

It's all going to be over soon. Then I have a trip to White Horse with Rotaract (Oh, Canada, I will visit a foreign country this year!) and after a little more work I'll be heading to NYC and DC for some vacation time! Yesssss! I actually have to check and see if my tax refund actually hits my bank account, if it doesn't, the vacation gets postponed.

**I almost titled this coming together - as in "things are finally coming together" but my mind happens to be consistently in the gutter and it made me snicker a little too much.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Epic Fail: Career Edition

Mr. CL posted on Facebook that he just got a new job. With Politician B. Just talked to Mr. AT. Also has a job with Politician B. Turns out at least three other people from the campaign also have jobs with Politician B. Why did I never get a call? Why was I not on the list of people worth hiring? So, while all these other people are now gainfully employed on Capitol Hill, I'm still in Juneau tending bar and trying to work at various non-profits to make ends meet.

I hate to admit it but I'm BITTER. I am jealous. I am pretty friggin' upset.

I sent in my resume and cover letter, I maintained contact, I still go to Juneau Democrats meetings and help out at their functions, I follow Alaska politics and I have been living in Alaska for two full years and know more about it than all but one of the people who got a job over there.

I have written countless cover letters, updated my objective on my resume countless times, updated my relevant professional experience countless times, and interviewed countless times - In a few weeks I'll be doing it all over again. And after that? Probably doing it again.

If I don't get a real friggin' job that pays well, has benefits, and doesn't suck, I'm going to LAW SCHOOL. If I can't manage to stay gainfully employed with an advanced degree, then I'm going to run from the government, move someplace remote, and live off the land or something. Then I'll write my memoirs about how college and networking and hard work didn't pay off.

Monday, April 20, 2009

No, really, it's over now.

I "spoke" too soon. The bar scene at the Berg didn't really get much better. The highlight definitely being when Mr. T and his friend were in for a little while, distracting me from the ridiculous group at the bar arguing. We had pizza and talked about silly stuff. The funniest part of all that was when talking about ordering the pizza. Last time I had commented that I didn't like ordering from Domino's because I felt like a douchebag ordering a pizza called "Extravaganzza Feast" so this time the joke was about other things that were terrible to order. We were ordering from Bullwinkle's this time, so the ultimate worst thing to have to say was the "All Meat Combo with white sauce." We determined that if you actually placed this order you would actually open your door to discover a male prostitute.

After most people left, Mr. Argumentative Lawyer decided that he needed to encourage me to close and go out to the bars to go have a one night stand with a "hill-billy." I was disturbed that Mr. AL would take any interest in or feel the need to get involved in my sex life, plus he suggested a hill-billy which is sort of the opposite of what I look for... Hill-billies are missing teeth. Right? I did close early but managed to ditch him - I just don't really go to the Viking. It's bad news. I went to the Alaskan and the Rendezvous to discover both were pretty packed and featuring some great live music.

I spent most of the time at the Rendezvous. I missed Meg performing but she and Miss AW, Mr. Z and plenty of other friends were around. We all spent most of the last couple hours dancing like wild things to Bac'untry Brothers - an old time band out of Fairbanks made up entirely of women. I think all of them are also lesbians, though it seemed that one of them was perhaps willing to go either way, as there was some major drama regarding one of the girls and a friend of mine from another band who happens to be male. Here's hoping their little tryst doesn't cause a break-up - I think the girl involved was dating another girl in the group. Anyway - not my business.

After bar close I didn't pull an all-nighter but I also didn't go home immediately. The Sunday night after party was a far smaller version - on par perhaps with Wednesday's after party. I only stayed an hour or so with Miss AW, listening to some music, waltzing a bit, and savoring the last of the Folk Fest feeling.

Today I've been at the day job, trying to scrape together some last minute donations and making some progress. I think I've determined that a job involving asking for money is not a good idea for me because I am not assertive enough in that arena. I did collect a few today, including one pity donation. Some people have been very hesitant about making donations, including some bigger corporations, other, including young entrepreurs have been exceedingly generous. It's interesting to see who cares about the community and who cares just about profit margins.

Tonight I intend to rest and relax. I started reading The World According to Garp and have been quite engrossed. Putting it down to make time for more important things like sleep and work has been a battle.

An observation (I may make a comic about this): The Cephalopod Stagger - This is when a person drunkenly staggers forward at an angle that might suggest the head pulling the rest of the body. Here's some video of squids.

** Edit**

Not my drama: Male friend got super friendly with female member of all female band, female partner of female member of band broke into male friend's house and beat the crap out of male friend. One broken nose, many bruises, and at least one ugly laceration later, male friend has this to say: "I've got a funny story to tell you..."

Sunday, April 19, 2009

The End of a Beautiful Thing

Folk Fest is over - for me at least. Tonight is the last night and I'm working. It's ugly here tonight. Mr. Argumentative Lawyer, a regular face about town, and Mr. Most Depressing Dude EVER are in here debating. Actually just arguing back and forth. I'm sitting here hoping it'll all end soon.

For the past three nights/mornings I've gone home between the hours of 5 and 8 in the morning. Slept a few hours. Then done it all again. It's been brilliant fun. Lots of good music, lots of fun. Folk musicians are Juneau's rockstars. Bluegrass groups are Juneau's Motley Crue. Singer/songwriters are Juneau's Britney Spears. We've got the sex and the drugs, but replace Rock 'n' Roll with FOLK. We're partying all night, drinking 'til passing out, smoking ourselves into catatonic states, sex in the hallways and playing fiddles on the stoop. I didn't have any sex or any drugs but I did take in plenty of folk music and plenty of other people did plenty of the other things. Mr. TC told me he saw people doin' it on the stairs. At about 8:30 pm Friday. Oh dear.

I won't bother with a play by play, but if you are ever in Juneau, Alaska during Folk Fest - do it. Just get into it. Stay up late and jam in the hallways. Drink whiskey. Experience all of it.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year: Folk Fest

I wish I could describe my Thursday night. I can't. I don't remember much. Judging by my state on Friday, it could have happened something like this. That's right - the amazing montage from Wet Hot American Summer in which they all go to town.

This could be one of the worst in history (remember the worst hangover stories prompted by Ben?) because when the blackout stage ended, I was upstairs in my apartment building (though at the time I didn't know it) and my glasses and my keys were downstairs in front of my door. Somehow I managed to bravely make my way down to the first floor, not step on my glasses, reapply them to my face, unlock my door, and pass out on the couch. Cut to 1pm when I get my act together enough to go into work for approximately one hour, during which I felt dizzy and nauseated. Then cut to 3:30pm when I made it back to my apartment and puked a bunch, then took a nap. CLASSY! At least I didn't puke in the bathroom at work, like I did when I worked on the campaign.

Friday night was a good night - once I had recovered at least. I was working but Meg and Little Black Raincloud Co. played, along with this kid from Ketchikan. It's hard to compete with the big name bars like the Alaskan and Rendezvous or even the friggin' Red Dog - bars that can afford to pay their musicians - but we pulled in some people and had a good time. I was planning on NOT drinking but that didn't work out. I had to take a shot with Mr. TC because I can't play pool without loosening up a little. At the end of the night Miss LS and Mr. JS stuck around while I closed (they were part of the band and doing clean-up - it's legit) and we walked over to the Alaskan Hotel together where the craziness continued. To attempt to describe Folk Fest after hours in a paragraph is to attempt to encapsulate the meaning of life in one book. Maybe. Or maybe I just don't feel like doing it. I'll leave you with a few words: Drinking, debauching, jamming, smoking, making friends and enjoying life, staying up until the sun has risen and napping so as to do it all again.

A perfect end to a very long night, this morning Miss L, Mr. E and I headed to the Sandpiper where we ordered hearty breakfasts and enjoyed good conversation. The next table over held Miss MM, Mr. AMF, and a couple others. Also joining us, back in town, was a former co-worker from my days at the 'Vous who happens to have grown up in the same small town in Oregon as I did. He walked me home after breakfast and then I dove straight into my bed and fell instantly asleep. This is the second time this one has walked me home - I don't really know what his angle is. Is he just being chivalrous? Does he want an invitation to a pants party? What the heck? He's a handsome guy, for sure, a lot of fun, but I sometimes feel like we miscommunicate - lines crossed - something. Sometimes my dry sense of humor is misinterpreted as something serious, sometimes I don't get if he's being serious or what the hell is going on. Seems like bad news. I think the walks home should definitely remain just that.

Today I slept a few hours but had to get up and around again for a meeting I thought was going to occur, but my newfound responsibility in an organization is already turning into a bit of a shit show - what with people thinking that a poverty-line-straddling gal like me has internet access all the time, thinking that I am ready to jump in and take care of everything without any sort of transition, etc. Imagine my reaction when I call to ask where we are meeting to discover that the person in question had expected me to do all the planning and communicating. Um, hey, no interweb, plus I was SLEEPING. I sort of freaked out and stated pretty plainly my frustration with the way things were starting. I need Folk Fest and my day job to be OVER before I step up to this responsibility.

Oh well, went to catch some afternoon performances today, Jam and Jelly and Little Black Rain Cloud Co. among others. Ran some errands after that, including getting tape for the register, not knowing whether Mr. Boss would remember or be able to pull it off. Just grabbed a bite at the Silverbow, did all this internet nonsense, and caught the end of the Singer/Songwriter thing. Tonight has a lot of potential. Here's hoping it is even better than last night!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

On Blogging

So, I don't often blog about blogging (meta-blogging?) but today I noticed that most of the blogs I read are lady blogs. I read blogs mostly by other 20 something females who mostly lead similar-ish lives but in different locations.

I think I read a few blogs by dudes. One of them is gay, so he still blogs about boys. The others I know personally.

I also read some political blogs, but of those, only one author is a guy.

Are there fewer guy bloggers? Or do I just relate more to female bloggers?

Reader(s), do you notice any gender trends in your google reader?

Oh, but more than half of my RSS feeds are comics and news items. Because I'm awesome.

Folk Fest Continues and Nobody Wants WAR.

So, yeah, hey, it's Folk Fest!

I missed out on Tuesday night because I had to work, but last night was another good time! I met up with Miss L and eventually also Miss B, Miss K, and Miss T. Then eventually more. Who am I kidding - Folk Fest is ridiculous - you meet up with everyone you've ever met at some point. Every direction you look you see a friend or acquaintance or former lover... There were some great acts. Bluescast was fantastic as always - a little political humor there - it's not difficult to come up with these days. Saw Myth Barber - the band that claims Patrice as its lead singer. Also Costa's band. Lots of great stuff. Wednesday is when Folk Fest starts getting crazy.

We didn't stay until the end, at some point a big group of us wound up heading up to Miss B and Miss R's place, where we ate jell-o shots, drank Alaskan beer, and jammed. Last time I jammed I nearly had a mental breakdown because of a triangle, this time was much more fun. I was doing some percussion - a thing that looked like a frog with wood slats and some maracas. Miss B was leading the way mostly, though Mr. T did take over now and then. The rest of us just did percussion and a little harmonica from Miss L. We would have been called "Miss B and the Drunk Percussionists."

I tried to get us to take the jam session to the Bergmann, but when all 8 of us crammed into a taxi-van with the two neighbors, my choice was by-passed and we ended up at the Alaskan. We piled out, clown car style, and headed inside to a less crowded than I'd expect but still crowded bar. Lots of cool people around, open mic performances, and people I hadn't necessarily seen in a while.

I think I ought to point out that I'm kind of a douchebag. Or a jerk. Or a tease. I don't know - sometimes I think that guys shouldn't like me because I can sometimes be so fickle and careless. There are some super great guys who for some reason really do like me, but I don't bother to spend more than a moment or two flirting and teasing before I'm off to talk with someone else. I know that I am not obligated to have feelings for someone just because they have feelings for me, but sometimes I wish things would align a little more in my favor and that I'd like those who like me and not care a bit about those who don't have feelings for me. Alas, this is life and love.

But in more happy news: WAR - Wayne Anthony Ross was not confirmed as our new Attorney General, so all the Attorney Generaling he's been doing this past week or so is null and void. Both the house and senate voted down WAR and while there were members who spoke in his favor, and many who disappointingly voted in his favor, he is not our AG. Yessssss.

There is more Palin drama in Juneau - she is being a freak and trying to do things in illegal ways, such as offering three choices for our vacant Senate seats instead of appointing one, and two of the three she appointed were already rejected. The third is, like Grussendorf, a NEW democrat - he registered Democrat on March 4th. The thing about registering as a Democrat on March 4th is this: When you change your affiliation, you do it for a reason. Many people changed their affiliation so they could join the Democratic caucus and vote for Obama. Many people change their affiliations so they can vote in primaries. March 4th? There's no caucus. There's no primary. There's just a vacant senate seat which can be filled only by a Democrat. People don't go changing their political affiliations just for fun - there's a purpose and the purpose for this guy is obvious. The Senate dems are not responding and the legislative legal counsel says that Palin's move is ILLEGAL (which WAR didn't care about, apparently). When will Juneau get a new Senator? At this rate - it may be a long time. Just glad it's not Cathy Munoz - who voted in favor of Wayne Anthony Ross. Um, Cathy, how about you vote on behalf of your constituency. You do know who that is, right? JUNEAU. Even if it is the more conservative part of Juneau, I'm pretty sure they aren't WAR fans either.

Things are going better at work - more people are making donations and I am hoping that even if I don't meet my goal, I'll do OK if you account for the economic recession...

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

We're All Folked Up.

Welcome to the 35th Annual Alaska Folk Fest in Alaska's 50th year of statehood! It's my second year as an Alaska Resident (the second Juneau-versary is at the end of May). Last night was the first night of Folk Fest - good times!

Folk Fest is an amazing time in Juneau - downtown comes alive and people come from all over to sing, play music, dance, or just listen. It's a family friendly thing, so you'll see people from infancy up to their silver haired golden years. The front is usually full of toddlers spinning and dancing, the seats filled with anyone and everyone, sometimes so full there are crowds standing behind and in the aisles. The dances are a lot of fun too. After the main stage events end (around 10/10:30pm, the jam spots at different cafes and bars and restaurants fill up. On Thursday, Friday, and Saturday the bars host different live musicians and bands and the bars are more full than usual as people come together to drink and dance. I found myself smiling and thinking that someday I wanted to take my children to Folk Fest - implicitly leaving me in Juneau for the rest of my friggin' life and making me a mommy and god knows what other strange and domestic things.

The music encompasses music of many different genres, though most have a folky feel. Some of my favorites are the hilarious political songs or the huge collaborations consisting of everyone you know on one stage and playing their guitars, banjos, bass guitars, mandolins, fiddles, and whatever else. I'm offering up the Bergmann as a jam spot - though I'm a little too late to make it "official." I am hoping people will turn up!

I made another poster! I have some live music going - both bands who played before at the Moustache Party. Also will be my friend Miss MM - she was at the zombie party with the drawn on facial hair. The Don Juan of zombies, really. Enough about zombies though - this is about the music. They are all fantastic musicians. One of my favorite things about Miss MM's performances that when she sings to her girlfriend, Miss AW, they have this total look of vomit inducing true love plastered across their faces. It's so cute I can't hold my food and liquor or whatever. It should be a really fantastic couple of nights.

Last night after watching Folk Fest Mainstage with Miss L and Mr. JF, Miss L and I went to the Alaskan, where we had a couple drinks and flirted with boys. It was a Monday Night Raw like we hadn't seen in a long time. There was a hip hop show at the JAHC that night, so the guys headed to the Alaskan after and set up the turn tables and held rap battles and freestyled. I also headed over to the Imperial and then the Rendezvous hanging out with Miss J and Miss M.

Today and yesterday were stressful days at work - at the day job anyway. The economy is a huge factor when your job is non-profit fundraising and everyone wants to save their money or at least not give away however much stuff. Ouch! I am really panicked about the thought of not reaching my goal. I figured that since everyone loves this particular non profit entity, getting donation would be no problem. Today I had a business owner complain to me that it felt like we did an auction every couple months. Um. I was polite, I respected your small business, asked if you felt you were in a position to donate and then you make it all awkward. Awesome. How do you end a conversation like that gracefully? At least when I was working on the campaigns I didn't feel obligated to maintain a good relationship with the crazies who called me names like liberal baby killer and commie bastard. Tomorrow is going to be another day of calling and calling and hoping that people don't say no. I did get a new donor today - I was pretty excited about this! It's the new tattoo parlor. I think that the new one is a great option because positive publicity by showing support for a respected and really well liked organization is a great way to bring in business.

I also went and visited the Alaska Robotics and Lucid Reverie crew while I posted the flier in various locations downtown. I have an awesome pin with a squid from this comic on my Kodiak Coat Co. coat now. Pat draws great squids. He just got back from the Emerald City Comic Con. Someday, maybe, I'll do stuff like that with my comics too. I actually went so far as to start an application to the Art Institute of Seattle. I forgot what a pain it was to choose a college... now I am tempted to do it all over again, looking at all the tuition fees and the offerings and the success rates, etc. I am just looking at an AA program (not like Alcoholics Anonymous - like the degree) but that's still spendy. I guess they boast a 100% employment rate in the field and the average starting pay is $45k. Better than what I'm doing now...

Between the sunshine and the fun times - life has been pretty good. I can't even really complain about the job stress because of the sun and the fun. The only thing that is sort of getting to me, and this is probably all my fault for being a total girl and analyzing everything to the point of it becoming a messy, complicated tangle of pros, cons, and assumptions, is the situation with the Attractive Male Friend. AMF? Anyway - I have a love-hate relationship with FWB situations - which is what this is apparently becoming. I love them in theory for being simple. I hate them for being, in reality, just as complicated as any other relationship. But for different reasons. I am prepping myself to have a "talk" and discuss the rules. I think I want a rule that says that I should be informed the second he's "over it" so I can bow out gracefully and possibly go back to making stupid decisions like flirting with that pilot Miss B demands I avoid or go back to going on nice dates with the nice guy who puts me on a dangerously high pedestal. Or if Mr. MM comes back, it might be an option to fall back into our cozy little relationship. Anyway - I guess I just hate that it's going to end, that I probably won't the the one to end it, and that when it ends - despite having no emotional connection - I'll still feel crappy. Perhaps instead of dwelling on the inevitable end, I should just bask in the afterglow and the happy hormones... There's an idea.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Let's Get Resurrected in Here!

I can already tell you that I'll probably say something that would offend Jesus-Freaks, members of the God Squad, or anyone who takes Christianity seriously in this post. Stop now. Seriously. I am not going to apologize.

Wait. I probably already did that because you already knew of my intention to have a zombie party - you know - resurrection = undead. Maybe I should put a warning on this blog. Rated S for sacrilege.

In any case, dressing up as a zombie was awesome. The fellow zombies were awesome. And while I do have a lot of appreciation for my zombie pals heading downtown with their undead selves, I kind of wished they had stuck around.

The First Annual Easter Weekend Zombie Party at the Bergmann was way less crowded than the Moustache Party - I guess dressing as a zombie takes a little more effort. In any case, the night was pretty fun overall, and I would have had even more fun had my expectations not been so high, thinking this party would have me crazy busy like the Moustache Party. It's OK. It'll pick up. Next year I'll hope for a better turnout. We look like we had fun, right? We did.

This is a group shot of me with some friends. This is actually before the party officially started, we all got ready together. Not everyone was "down with the sickness"* but we did have a few more zombies at the party, among the living.

At times I was the only zombie at the zombie party, which made for an interesting time trying to explain to unknowing patrons the sexy hair and makeup. I even had one of our state representatives in the bar - I've had him in before. He drinks Manhattans. This would not have been a good night to mention an interest in working as a legislative aide (not that he's hiring). The session is almost over anyway. I'm pretty cool with that. There are people I'll miss, but some I won't.

Before the party and the zombification (red squiggly lines claim that's not a word) I made Jell-o shots. I had to go run around to get all the ingredients. Proof of how much Mr. JB trusts me: That he left me three blank, signed checks and the keys to his truck. The trip turned out to be kind of a shit show, including expired Costco memberships and a lot of crap over business checks and credit card limits and so on and so forth. I gave up on Costco and headed to Fred Meyer where I encountered only a little less hassle, having had to show my I.D. at least three separate times and having to wait for a manager to do some sort of over-ride. Bleh.

All worth it in the end.

Today was Easter proper and, while I do not share in the Christian belief system, it is a time people spend with family, which can still make me a bit nostalgic - even if Easter sometimes equals fist fights and shooting rabbits with my family. Luckily, I got to spend Easter with my surrogate family. My roommate's family is great. Miss M came too. We spent the whole time preparing and eating food, having a couple drinks, and betting on when guinea pigs as food would be brought up. I won't bother explaining that one.

Tonight I've been working. I sort of expected NOBODY to come in. Mr. J and Miss N were the first to show, followed by a couple of Mr. J's coworkers, Mr. JW and his friend Mr. JS, and my friend Miss H. I also had an appearance by Mr. RB. Far better than I had expected! It was all good company too. Well, one lady was sort of annoying. Oh well. I had people!

I am considering closing early. Wouldn't hurt the business at all. I don't expect anyone else will come at this late hour!

Folk Fest starts tomorrow. That means parties and music and art and wild times. Prepare for some tales of fun to come!

*Have you seen Dawn of the Dead?

Friday, April 10, 2009

Oh, Boy!

On the awkward-o-meter, the story I am about to share is probably at about an 8. Luckily it showcases how I've grown as a person and makes me a little proud.

After a day of calling people and gathering donations for the job-o, I came to the other job-o and started opening up. Usually the first bit of the night is empty and quiet, so I called Miss Oliveface (aka Sophomore year roomie) who had just returned from being abroad for nearly two years. Sadly this conversation was cut short because Mr. A walked in. At work customers take priority over long lost friends. I'll cut out all the useless details and get to the part where I serve him a beer and we sort of awkwardly chat about stuff. Amid chatter about life and the future and all sorts of things related to him and me and definitely not an us, there came a comment that gave me a bit of a start. "I heard you and Miss T talked about us (past tense - him and me)." Awkward pause. Possibly even pregnant pause. My pause can be pregnant so long as I am not. I finally responded with "Not recently." He then stated that he didn't think she broke up with him over something recently, implying rather blatantly that he thought our conversation may have had a direct influence on her dumping his ass. Now, old doormat girlfriend me would have probably apologized or explained or excused away this accusation, but new, strong, assertive me said, "Your relationship (with Miss T) is a lot different from OUR relationship (past tense!) so I don't imagine anything I'd have to say about you and me (past tense!) could really have an influence on your relationship (with Miss T, now also past tense). Then he apologized and said that it was a rude thing to bring up. Then he finished his beer, closed out, and said that he'd see me later.

If you got through that paragraph, congratulations.

Oh, boy, though. That is the awkward story and here comes the story that is sort of awkward but in a very positive way. It's about things that I like a lot: makeouts and cartoons.

Once, a long, long time ago, or January probably, an attractive male friend asked if I wanted to make out. Being the stupid self conscious and under-confident girl that I am, I assumed it was a joke and brushed it off. A bit later on, talking with a girl friend, I discovered that he may have, in fact, been serious. And I totally passed it up. Crap.

Once, less long ago, maybe in March, said attractive male friend (who is, for many other reasons, pretty rad) invited me to watch some cartoons at his apartment. I said yes, gladly, and we walked over. And we watched cartoons. We may have sort of leaned in for some almost cuddling as well, but when he started to doze off, I excused myself, thinking that it was perhaps not meant to be.

Once, really recently, maybe yesterday, said attractive male friend called my name while I was walking home (trying to keep my distance from another attractive male, with whom I am not allowed to spend time according to Miss B, and probably rightfully so) and suggested that instead of walking home I go with him and another friend of ours to the 'Vous for one last drink. I accepted the invitation, headed over, and when the same invitation to watch cartoons was extended I said yes. When we left, the mutual friend happened to head over with us as well. She sat on the couch next to him while we watched an entire disc of Aquateen Hunger Force and a full episode of the Simpsons, meanwhile, I was sitting on the sofa chair and occasionally glancing at Mr. Attractive Friend meaningfully. The meaning was, "when is Miss Mutual Friend gonna friggin' quit this cock-blockin'?"

Eventually, after Miss CT stopped by and the cops got called on our negligible noise, after watching all of those episodes, after two cigarettes, and after lots of brief conversations about other mutual friends, Miss MF and Mr. AF went out to smoke a cigarette and I stayed in, drank some water, watched the rest of that episode of the Simpsons, and waited. When the door next opened, it was just Mr. AF and I was already sitting on the couch. Finally. We did the whole sitting next to each other thing. Then the moving a little closer thing. Then the sort of awkward arm around the shoulder and cuddle a little thing. Then the awkward first kiss thing. Then we did the super awesome makeout thing. Finally.

Needless to say, that was a good time. Cartoons and makeouts. Makeouts and cartoons. Life doesn't get much better.

Today I was sort of giddy. Not super giddy. I have to not be giddy because I know that I am in no way allowed to get attached to this one because he's kind of a heartbreaker. There is just one girl to whom he'll really commit and really give his all. That girl is not me, nor is it any of my other girl friends who have apparently been through this same sort of thing. It's Juneau, nobody is untouched. So, whatever, awkward ex, Mr. A! I don't need your sassafras! I can get my thrills from other, cuter, less socially awkward boys. So there.

Now, on to planning for the Zombie Party! I'm really excited. Also - I think it could be a big party because a lot of people have heard word and I've even done some traditional publicity in the form of fliers here and there. Sweet.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

My, How Time Flies

Now and then I find myself amazed at how quickly time passes, how much has happened in such a short bit of time, or how little has happened in the past day. That's right. I'm boring these days.

Highlights include lunch with Miss A yesterday, actually purchasing the vacuous purse I had on hold at Boheme, and realizing that the ZOMBIE PARTY is this Saturday. Yesssssss.

I'm actually kind of freaking out that the Zombie Party is so soon, I haven't done as much promoting as I ought to, nor have I secured live music for the event. Things that certainly will occur? JELL-O shots. Zombie movies in the background. People dressed as zombies. Cheap beer (for Alaska).

I made up some posters today - pretty basic stuff - undead rising, Easter egg, what, where and when. Awesome. Now to post some. This is sort of a terrible photo, it was taken with my blackberry, uploaded to facebook, saved on the computer and put on here - what a journey! I have a pretty clear PDF if anyone wants to e-mail a copy of the flier to Juneau people.

The idea for the party is based on a comic from Cat and Girl about Easter. Here it is!

Oh, things weren't 100% dull. Last night I went to the NOW meeting and was voted President of the Juneau chapter. It seems that whenever I join a club, the first thing that happens is people determine that I should be president. Sort of a confidence booster. I ended up staying at the location of the meeting pretty late chatting with the homeowner, who happens to be one of my Big D friends. After that I was feeling pretty mellow and went home where I drew a new comic! It is another political one. Tee hee. It's already posted on my comic site, even though I was planning on posting on FRIDAYS. I messed up and published immediately rather than scheduling it. Oh well.

Speaking of creating - I got a phone call from the woman at the AWARE shelter and we met today to add my painting to the collection at the Silverbow Bakery. It should be up today or tomorrow. It'll be my first piece showcased since HIGH SCHOOL and my first piece showcased outside of a school setting EVER. I'm pretty excited.

Today is Miss K's birthday. I'm contemplating going out, contemplating staying in. I guess this is my only "weekend" night until next week sometime, so I should consider heading out, even if I choose not to spend any money. I can behave!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

More Politicians and the Absence of Luck Party

You can't hide from Representative Don Young. I went to the Chamber [of Commerce] After Hours event. I was hoping for another riveting speech from Rep. Young, but got nothing of the sort. I sipped on red wine and spent most of my time following around the one person I knew or talking "literature" with a 12 year old girl. When Rep. Young first arrived he walked through and shook pretty much every hand in the place. I was sort of hiding behind someone who was likely important, thinking a handshake utterly unnecessary, but he reached and reached and the handshake was unavoidable.

Immediately after that adventure I headed over to Centennial Hall for the Jefferson-Jackson dinner. My job was to sell raffle tickets. I inadvertantly donated $25 to the Juneau Democrats because I used $25 of my own money as change, should people use bigger bills, which they inevitably did. We raffled a quilt. It was a good excuse to run around and talk to people, many of whom I knew personally, some of whom I know by reputation or by their high profile jobs, some I'd never met. I did get to have a seat at one of the tables and enjoy the meal catered by the Baranof - the steak was overcooked - but it was a catered event and you probably have to cater to those weirdos who like their meat well done. I had a fun time talking with people and running around. I narrowly avoided having to say something into the microphone in front of everyone. I finally got a picture of Mark B and me together - there have been many, but I have none of them.

Post Night of Political Mayhem I headed to the Bergmann to hang out with Miss P - since it was originally my shift anyway. When I arrived, I discovered I had entered the "Bad Luck Party" later to be renamed the "Absence of Luck Party." It was Mr. A, Mr. Tall A, and Miss P. I walked in and after sharing some anecdotes from the day* I bitched briefly about the whole student loan to collection thing. I was then told that I had come to the right place and that we were all there, having had the absence of luck. Mr. TA had a sad story about finances and a breakup. I just had the finances, I suppose. Mr. A wins it all with the sob story of the night: dreams shattered, an eviction because the apartment is going to returning family, and a breakup. Ouch. Now, Mr. A and I have a rocky past and while a part of me wasn't all that sympathetic, another part of me wanted to go give him a big hug and comfort him and be the same doormat of a "girlfriend" I was for however many months we pulled that off and on shit. I didn't. He didn't reach out for it either. Thank goodness. I need to get rid of this nostalgic feeling - I have this way of remember all the good and sort of sweeping the bad under the rug.

Miss P's dad came to pick her up sort of early so I closed the bar. I went home after and read a little more of John Stewart's America (The Book), I book I am amazed I had not read a million times before.

*Speaking of anecdotes: Miss S, one of the higher ups from the campaign, was at the dinner and thanked me for introducing her to my term Jesi. That's right. As in more than one Jesus. Apparently she enjoyed the term greatly and introduced it to her family, taking things a step further (and all the more awesome) and making CHOCOLATE Jesi at Christmas. Awesome. I'll note that I am not the only person in the world to coin the term Jesi, but my coining was independent of others coining the term, so I don't feel weird about receiving some credit for this.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Poli-day! Celebrate!

I had better moisturize my elbows because they'll be rubbing with the elbows of National politicians today. More than I even thought.

Last night after work I stayed in and read a book in one sitting. It was just shy of 300 pages and did keep me up rather later than I had planned. I haven't done that in a long time. That's why I didn't wake up to my initial alarm this morning and instead found myself running out of the house without mascara on my way to the Rotary luncheon downtown.

I've been to a number of these, this time I was a guest of the President of United Way SEAK. Once we had arrived I discovered that today's guest speaker was to be Rep. Don Young, Alaska's sole representative, a republican, and sort of a nutcase. I listened intently as Rep. Young made up words like "fruitation," compared foreign oil consumption to snorting cocaine, and used the word bitch. I think the illicit drug metaphor is my favorite.

Now, stop me if I'm wrong, but usually metaphor is a device used to clarify one's understanding by making a relatable comparison. Rep. Young said something along the lines of "burning foreign oil is like snorting cocaine, once you've burned it, it's gone - once you've snorted it, it's gone and all you've got after is a headache." Who relates to this metaphor? Is Don Young sharing with the audience that he's done coke? That he wasn't impressed because he got a headache afterward? Is he implying that the audience will relate to this metaphor because we've probably done a load of coke?

And "fruitation? Really? COME ON! I am guessing the word which should have popped out of his mouth was 'fruition' but maybe he just wanted to make up his own.

I don't have a complaint about him saying bitch, as he wasn't referring to us as bitches, to women as bitches, or otherwise insulting me.

Now I'm at work for a few hours before heading to the Chamber After Hours event which features Alaskan Brewing's newest beer and special guest Don Young. I half hope that he gives the same exact speech so others can appreciate the cocaine metaphor and the new words on par with bushisms - the other half definitely hopes for a new and equally as interesting speech to inspire me further.

Once I have gotten my Republican fix for the day, I'll head over to Centennial Hall for the Juneau Democrats' Jefferson-Jackson Dinner with special guest Senator Mark Begich. I am looking forward to seeing Mark B again and I may remind him that I'm still less than gainfully employed.

Today hasn't been all happiness and politics for me. I discovered that one of my student loans - luckily a "small one" went to collection. OUCH! I've been trying to work this crap out, but choosing not to consolidate may have been a bad idea for me after all, if only because I am all scatterbrained and apparently can't keep track of my finances. That means that I owe a lump sum of nearly $4k. These are the times when I kick myself and wonder why I even went to friggin' college for all the good it's done me. Is $4k a small number? No. If you must know, that is probably the equivalent of 4 months of paychecks for me with my silly bartending gig. That is if I put a solid $1000 of each paycheck (they are usually around $1200-$1300) - which ignores things like rent, phone bills, credit card bills, other student loan bills, and you know, food.

Still, that did not stop me from purchasing my plane ticket to go on a real vacation. I am tired of feeling oppressed by my finances and choose to take some risks. Who cares if I am bound to rent forever? If I'll never be able to own a nice car? If I'll have to dig myself out of a credit debt so deep I will feel a difference in pressure? Well, I'm trying not to.

If everything were going well in my life, let's be honest, I would have very little to write about.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Ew, Nostalgia!

The last couple days I've been feeling a whole lot of Nostalgia. It probably has something to do with my life being sort of boring. I know, you know, you read about it every day.

Yesterday it was the phone call. Today it was a photo. Miss J is probably the only person I know in the whole wide world who still has a regular film camera. She also does not have an e-mail address and has famously asked if our friends' computers "have the youtube." She finally took a roll of film from October-November to be developed and handed me the stack of glossy photos this morning. I went through and saw lots of photos from Miss A's birthday party and various nights out on the town. There were some pretty adorable photos of me with Miss P, some with the gingers, and then there was the photo of me with "The Crush."

I think this photo is from when we first hit it off. The first time we really talked. The first time I decided that I was enamored with him. The photo has a fairly high contrast, so our black shirts against the black background make just a few things pop: blurred neons in the background, our smiling faces, the screenprint of David Bowie on his t-shirt. It's a super adorable "couple" picture, even though we weren't a couple. That photo and one of me and Miss P sit on my desk at work starting today. How did I mess that one up? I was reminding myself today that he was sort of flaky and that I seemed to always have to make all the plans... I am probably only making this a big deal because I want to feel justified in letting things fade.

I need to quit this.

In other news, breakfast at 2:30am is awesome, especially when prepared by three excellent cooks/chefs. After a night of playing pool with Mr. CC and playing "Things" with Miss J, Miss M, Mr. JB, Mr. JM, Mr. EM, and Mr. HS, some of us continued on to Mr. JB's house to have a bite to eat. When I arrived at the house after closing the bar, I joined Miss M in watching as Mr. JB, Mr. JM, and Mr. HS all cooked a delicious midnight-ish breakfast of omelettes with various delicious fillings, topped with goat brie, and drizzled with an orange hollandaise sauce. I commented to Miss M that this is what I would like my life to be like someday, me sitting aside while three men run around the kitchen preparing gourmet meals. OK, maybe I'll just have one and maybe we'll share the kitchen duties, but I will certainly not share my life with a man who doesn't cook.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Giddy Like a God-Damned School Girl

Did you see that on my sleeve? Yes, that is my heart.

One problem that I have sometimes is being completely and totally open, honest, and vulnerable. I've had this really blow up in my face, but I can't help but have this desire to share my happiness and even sometimes my sadness, random thoughts, or when I am superbly giddy.

No need to dwell on when this blows up in my face though. I am just going to share right now and hope that this doesn't mess anything up or jinx me.

Now, there is a phone number in my phone I don't often call and don't often receive calls from, but when my phone lights up and that name appears, I can't help but get a big smile on my face and go all jelly-bones trying to act cool when I answer.

So, here I am, bored at work, checking my google reader and wishing people would get their butts over to the bar. Buzzzzz. Buzzzzzz. My phone is lit up and the name on the phone is [Mr. Mountain Man]. "Hey there." is my cool salutation. Awesome. As it turns out he is in Anchorage right now (which is not any nearer me than Seattle) and called to say hello. He's moving back to Alaska. Possibly back to Juneau.

I had to think critically about this situation. We dated for about a month last summer. We got along wonderfully and had a lot of fun. Our relationship ended because he moved to Seattle. When I went to Seattle, we ended up hanging out, but he had a girlfriend. My guess is that he and the girlfriend broke up. He's missing family and friends in Alaska. He wants to move back to Alaska. There is some part of him that still feels SOMETHING for me, just like there is this part of me that goes into full on giddy school girl mode when he calls. Based on another THE other "boyfriend" I am wary of the off and on thing, but I think the circumstances might allow for us to get back together if he comes back. I shouldn't hold my breath, but it's a possibility. It sounds nice.

In other news. I'm also happy that if all goes as planned, I'll have some delicious Pad Thai in my possession in no time at all. If not, $20 walked out the door with my friend and I am starving. Last night was a pretty slow night at the Bergmann, but I did walk out with a fair amount of tips. Not to mention Miss P covered for a couple hours while I went to Bowl for Kids' Sake for BBBS Alaska. I was on a team with Miss B, Miss R, and Mr. ER and I bowled really poorly. The free beer (1) and pizza was pretty awesome. It was also good that we managed to raise a little money for a good cause.

Today I worked at Boheme some, doing inventory. It wasn't as excruciatingly boring as I remember it being last time. I did show up at noon instead of 10am though. I should never plan something for that early in the morning after a night when I close the bar. Bad news.

Miss M is back in town, so she and Miss J and some others will probably join me at the bar at some point. I'm just not the first stop. It's ok. I'll go play some more pool by myself and maybe be stupid and giddy some more over a slight chance.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

East Coast, Here I Come!

I'm a West Coast girl, born and raised. I was born in California, lived there and Oregon, now live in Alaska. I have been surrounded by this relaxed West Coast atmosphere my whole life. Most of my life I've also appreciated tall mountains and blue oceans and forests and the tallest buildings topping off at a number of stories I'd have no trouble counting on my fingers and toes.

Now, I did spend a year of my life in a mid-sized European city, but that was another story entirely, another country entirely. It was another life and it was a year of "studying" and traveling and figuring out swear words in as many languages as possible.

And once I visited New York City. It was my senior year of college and I had an AmeriCorps interview - I didn't get it - but even if I had, I couldn't afford to live in New York City on 11 thousand dollars a year. I have debts, dammit! Maybe student loans get forgiven but I am certain credit card companies don't feel any level of forgiveness or altruism. I went to the top of the Empire State Building and shopped at H&M, I went to a themed restaurant and walked through Times Square without convulsing in an epileptic fit. I did not see a Broadway show, I did not visit the Statue of Liberty, I did not take the Staten Island Ferry, nor did I eat those famous cupcakes or visit a bar with beds. I have a lot of stuff left to do in NYC.

I also plan to visit DC. For a politically obsessed girl such as myself, having never visited DC is sort of absurd. Really? You helped get a US Senator elected but you've never seen the White House? You've protested decisions and been complimented by a VP Nominee but you haven't seen the Washington Monument? You haven't seen the Vietnam Wall or the Lincoln Monument? The Pentagon? Any of it? I think it is time to take a field trip. That episode will be called, Ms. G goes to Washington. I can go visit my man Mark B!

I'm really excited at the thought of taking this trip and even more exciting that the ticket is going to cost me almost half of what I paid to fly to Minneapolis/St. Paul in February. Awesome! I am planning on being gone for TWO WEEKS, which means I have to really start saving money. I can't be frivolous anymore, despite the temptation to buy all sorts of stylish things so I don't feel like a silly backwoods girl when I hit the big cities. There are two temptations. One is to stroll around the big cities looking every bit as stylish as any other big city girl. The other is to own my less stylish side, wearing XtraTufs and Fleece, Chaco sandals and years old sundresses. Luckily, the Tufs are meant for rain and I imagine May in NYC and DC will be better weather than I would expect here but not so good that I can expect to wear my sport sandals. I think I'm stuck with being sort of stylish.

And to end this post, I'll do a single paragraph recap of last night: Stopped by Silverbow to see the opening of the AWARE sponsored art show, cocktailed/helped cook/served at Mr. JB's birthday extravaganza from 7pm until 11pm. Went to the Alaskan and listened to Deering and Down. When Miss JR was waiting to get her tab, I directed the bartender to get her tab before serving me. She seemed surprised and thanked me. I also offered to bus tables/bring back glasses and managed to get myself in the (really) good graces of the bartenders. We were already friends. I danced and had fun and enjoyed my night out, even though the Alaskan was ridiculously crowded. Sean Tracy joined in with his harmonica at the end of the night. Chatted with Deering and Down after they stopped playing. While walking home, Ted, whom I've kicked out on numerous occasions, insisted on Miss P and I cabbing with him, so he paid for us to get dropped off before heading home. The end.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Springtime for Juneau

Spring is in the air. It is apparent because we (1) see the sun, (2) are not drenched in rain, (3) are wearing our light winter jackets rather than our heavy winter jackets - at least during the daylight hours, and (4) the daylight hours are stretching earlier into the morning hours and later into the evening hours.

What does Spring mean to Juneau?

Mr. JF will be returning to town one day, Miss L will be returning the next day, and as the month of April progresses, new people will show up. I feel like it hasn't been all that long since last summer. I guess that's not bad.

Tourists will begin to crowd our downtown streets and shops and watering holes - this year will be a slow year for tourism. Some of us count this among our blessings, others consider this a curse.

More trails will thaw and become easier hikes and we will hopefully have a nice enough summer that a hike needn't involve head to toe rain gear.

The bears will come out of hibernation. I guess that's already started in some places. I've never had any near death bear encounters, but I must say that running into a bear too close can be a little frightening.

Beerball will resume. I think it generally begins in late April or early May. Last year I didn't play in a single pickup game, but this year I plan to spend a little more time having fun.

Spring may also mean twitterpation. I think I was pretty wrapped up in my drama with Mr. A this time last year, but later in the actual Summer months, I managed to fall into that sweet little Summer fling with Mr. Mountain Man. Perhaps the general thaw will include some hearts this Spring.

I am stuck on Spring because last night I went to dinner with Miss J. From our table at the Hangar, we admired the view of the Gastineau Channel and Douglas Island. I found myself prompting Miss J once again, "Look how beautiful Juneau is!" We opted out of seeing I Love You, Man in favor of going for a walk along the waterfront and sitting on a dock, throwing a wrinkled kiwi, shockingly discovered in Miss J's purse, into the channel. Miss V joined us for the adventure as well, though she did not partake in the spiked juice we passed around.

It seems that whenever I go out with Miss J, even when she has to work the next morning, I find myself drinking more than I ought for longer than I ought. Including the pint of Deschutes Black Butte Porter (from where I grew up in Oregon) I had with dinner, I probably consumed enough alcohol to, at the very least, tranquilize a Shetland Pony. Oops. In my defense, I did turn down a number of drinks and I did consume a number of glasses of water along with my copious amounts of alcohol. I probably could have made it through the night without feeling quite so intoxicated had I not had drinks ordered for me or had one of the drinks not been a Red-headed Slut - a dangerous concoction of J├Ągermeister, Peach Schnapps, and cranberry juice. Ick. Still, I managed to survive the evening of trivia, karaoke, and consoling a friend who is dealing with some tough times. All without vomiting, blacking out, or making out in public.

Once home, Miss J put in Twilight, forcing me to watch much of it twice in as many days. She kicked me each time I made a sarcastic comment. We were trying to wait up for Miss P and Mr. G, but they were taking longer than anticipated. By the time they finally arrived I let them in, ushered them to the couch, then went to bed myself. I thought it would be worth it to note how often former flings have slept on my couch - post fling. I think the tally is at three. I guess it is a good sign that I'm not a crazy bitch, being friends with ex lovers and all. Mr. G and I have known each other for over a year now. It's fun that we are now at a point where we can hang out and watch cartoons, enjoying the good company. Not like that month when he ignored me completely, or the months when he tried to pretend like he hadn't ignored me completely and wanted to invite himself to my bed.

Last night I fell asleep with ease but didn't sleep very soundly. I kept waking up and at some point just stayed up reading pop lit. I've determined that the closest I can ever come to writing pop lit is this - my blog - because pop lit isn't timeless. A pop lit novel is out of style as soon as the references are worn. In 20 years or in 50 years or in 100 years or more, will people really get a reference to pop stars and fleeting trends? Now and then, I indulge myself with a little pop lit, it goes down easy and doesn't keep you up at night, but in the end I must admit my preference for real literature that is as relevant today as it was when it was written and will remain relevant for years and years to come. Centuries perhaps.

Tonight I have some big plans. First: Primping at home. I'm thinking cute dress and green boots. Yes? Yes. Post-primping there will be some gallery walking - I imagine this gallery walk will be much more effective than the last gallery walk since I am fully capable of walking like a normal person. No more hobbling. At 6:45 I arrive to cocktail for Mr. JB's birthday party. After that fiasco is over, I'll head down the hill with some bills in my pockets (if I have pockets) to dance the night away to some Deering and Down, and perhaps if they take a break I can mosey on over to the Red Dog Saloon, which has upped it's street cred incredibly by having Honky Tonk habit play. After all this running around, I am hoping for a good night's sleep and a good morning's sleep in tomorrow.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

This is Not a Politics Blog

I will not deny that I am obsessed with AK-Prog-Blogs and read no fewer than three, along with the ADN and Juneau Empire RSS feeds. I have been guilty of posting really political stuff on blogs and comics, facebook and myspace, Tumblr and Twitter. Oh dear. But this is and will remain a personal and frivolous blog, no matter how happy or sad the political landscape may be.

That being said, I am really happy that, thanks to a facebook update from a friend on the hill, I am confident in saying that Grussendorf will NOT be replacing Senator Elton. I very nearly got into a heated debate on Facebook commenting on this friend's status. Some neo-con who works for Don Young (ick!) responded to my relief that he thought Grussendorf would have been a great option... I responded that I'd refrain from debating on Dani's comments, but I have to point out that the Valley didn't vote for him when he ran for Representative and downtown most certainly wouldn't vote for him, so appointing him seems like it wouldn't actually please anyone. Good thing the Senate Dems seemed to realize this.

Now, back to silly and unimportant things, like my life:

Last night I worked. It was boring. The only saving grace was Miss B coming in, but that didn't help much since she ended up playing cribbage with Mr. Contrary the whole evening before the debates began. Sometimes I have zero tolerance for Mr. Contrary's insistance on battling with every single person, whether they agree or not. Did you know that two liberal democrats who agree on most every issue could argue about those very issues? Well, Mr. Contrary will prove to you that this is true.

I have been wearing my contacts a lot lately, but that caused me to suffer an awful red and itchy eye by the end of the night. I was lucky that Miss B could give me a ride home so I could change into my glasses and watch some of Becoming Jane. I finished it this morning instead of getting ready to face the world earlier than usual. Jane Austen probably dying a virgin is kind of sad. And while we still suffer some double standards these days, dying a 41 year old virgin would be far more appalling than pre-marital sex while in college and one's early twenties. The comments triggered by this status update ranged from the hopeful to the downright dirty, even featuring a link to a late 1800's, um, sex machine. The link has now been removed, possibly Mr. Z looking out for the fact that my mom is my facebook friend, but it was something to behold. Doesn't look all that pleasant to me, I'll admit to being thankful for modern technology.

By the way, how was that for a segue? Corrective lenses to movie to sex toys? Whoa.

Still on that last topic, Mr. Contrary was sharing his amazement at brand names for sex toys. Miss D came to the Bergmann and put up a poster for a "Slumber Party" at the Rendezvous next week. And another friend told me that her "friend" died. All this talk reminds me of that one time in college when about 8 of us sorority sisters hopped in a couple cars and drove to the big giant Adult Shop (advertised in giant yellow letters) on Mission Street in Salem. I know that there were a number of girls who did not leave empty handed. I don't think the clerk had ever been so excited by a group of customers.

Now I have to start arguing that this isn't a sexy blog. If you know me, you know that I fail hard at sexy.

I have a bad habit of making too many plans with too many people in one night. Tonight is no different because I told Miss MO and Miss B that I would hang out with them tonight, but Miss MJ just texted about a bonfire. Miss MO won't go to the bonfire, but Miss B might, but I know that I could get both of them to just hang out. Maybe I should do dinner with Miss MO and bonfire with Miss B and Miss MJ... Man, maybe I should just quit being so ridiculously popular. Ha. Ha. That was a joke.

Oh, and one more bit about politics: Ted Stevens' conviction has been overturned. Now everyone in Alaska can be happy. The democrats and liberals have Mark Begich in office and everyone else has Uncle Ted's reputation untarnished, or at the very least, polished up to a really nice sheen again.