Tuesday, March 10, 2009

You know it's time to make a change when:

Last night I went to Zen with Miss C, we had dinner and a bottle of wine, followed by a creme brulee. Mmmm. On the way out, I grabbed some fortune cookies for us and when we got to the Rendezvous we opened them. Miss C got two fortunes in her cookie, two really nice fortunes. I got one fortune and it read: "Work on improving your exercise routine."

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

Miss A trilled, "Your fortune cookie called you fat!"

I looked at the cookie. I looked at the fortune. I threw the cookie. It hit the bottles behind the bar and fell to the ground. Mr. JF looked at me, wide eyed.

"My cookie called me fat."

So, anyway, when even my fortune cookies are calling me fat, it looks like it's about time to make some improvements. What better way to improve one's health than to drink copious amounts of alcohol, right?

So, that's what I did. Don't worry. Not because I was upset - that's got to be the funniest fortune EVER - but because I was out with friends and that's what we do. I guess.

Miss C is leaving town soon, so we had to get in some fun times. In any case, I was hanging out at the Rendezvous, aside from a brief tour of bars looking for the elusive Miss EF who worked on the Begich campaign on the Kenai. I never found her. I realized too late that I didn't have her number. Oops.

At some point I texted Mr. HL hoping to get her number from him. No luck. Our relationship has been reduced to awkward small talk and obligatory waves. Funny story about how small this world is: He's her roommate back in A-town. Ha. Ha. Ha.

I had run into Miss EF at the Silverbow during the day and declared that we should go out. I would have texted Mr. CL from the campaign had it not been 2 in the morning when I was desperately seeking her phone number. Oh well.

Anyway, after Miss C and Miss A left, I headed up the hill to the Bergmann and joined Miss J, Miss M, Mr. Boss, and co. We continued to drink, listen to music, dance, and have fun until the wee hours of the morning. I think things went on until I managed to puke. Ew.

The funny thing about puking is this: I puked in my pint glass. Yup. In my pint glass. I was trying to keep it neat. That worked until I puked too much. Again with the drinking too much and doing stupid things. Maybe I should change the name of my blog to "Tales of Melissa Drinking Too Much and Doing Really Stupid Things." Anyway, I have learned a very expensive lesson, I think. Today when I tried to turn on the iPod, it didn't work. Oh shit. Probably the most expensive thing I own aside from my dead-alive laptop, it has joined the ranks of the dysfunctional or completely not functioning.

Miss J and I went home after this incident. We grabbed crackers and cheese and sat on Miss J's bed and talked about stuff until 6 in the morning, when I didn't have the energy to make it to my own bed, so I slept there.

Today was a terrible day. I had a splitting headache and felt nauseated all day. Ick. But now I feel fine, so of course my vow to never drink again is a big fat lie.

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