Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Life's Lessons re-Learned

1. No news is: NO NEWS. The news I did receive is that I did not get the legie job. Probably just as well since I think I may have gone all bitch-is-crazy with some drunk text message to Mr. HL. Hoping for a chance to prove that I'm not insane, but maybe I should just dig around for the book Miss L so unceremoniously thrust at me back in the days of Mr. A: He's Just Not That Into You.

2. Don't drunk dial or text or e-mail or facebook or, really, you probably just shouldn't even talk. I think that's explained in the last one though, so I won't elaborate further.

3. I used to think that the line, "Guys are like kleenex, use 'em once and toss 'em out." was hilarious. I'm thinking it should be more like this: "Nice guys are like kleenex, sometimes you really need 'em (usually because you are bawling your eyes out over a pint of Ben and Jerry's because of some dick)." This doesn't mean I've really learned a lesson, I'll probably still go for the d-bags over the nice guys, even though it is stupid. One has no control over basic attraction, right?

4. Procrastination is a bad idea. I thought I was procrastinating by waiting until just over a week ago to take my bridesmaid dress in for alterations. The alterations were no big deal, but still, it's a wedding, the bride is one of my best friends from college, she's usually mellow but brides can be lethal if the wedding is threatened. So, I should have stopped in on this most recent Friday to pick it up, but I figured it could wait until Monday. Then on Monday, I lost track of time and determined that I'd be okay to pick it up Tuesday morning. Well, this morning when I went to pick it up, Rae's shop wasn't open. Mini panic attack: begin. I get calmed down, reassured that she'd open later in the day, maybe 11 or 11:30. Not to worry. So, I drop off Miss J at her class and drive back downtown to pick up the dress, only to discover that Rae hadn't started it yet. Resume panic attack. She said she could do it in an hour and, true to her word, she did. I also procrastinated and, since our washing machine has been broken, I had to do laundry at Miss J's parents' house in the few hours before I was leaving. Got the last load dried and in my suitcase just in time to head to the airport. I think the reason I never learn the procrastination lesson is because things usually still work out for me.

5. Plan ahead. My plans for the week are less than solid. I didn't even know the exact time my plane was leaving Juneau until less than 3 hours before it left. Plans are changing too, looks like I'll be going straight to Eau Claire, WI instead of hanging out with Miss AB in Minneapolis. Poor thing is headed to the hospital for a procedure, hope to catch her on my way back to Alaska. Lucky me, another of the bridesmaids is on the same flight. I figure I can just follow her lead and get my butt to EC without having had to plan a thing. Again, maybe the reason I never learn this lesson is because stuff just works out for me a lot of the time.

6. Some people are just... flakey. And let me tell you, flakey is only good for biscuits. On Saturday night (before I became stupid drunk enough to drunk text Mr. HL) I had an acquaintance comment that the Bergmann was once again not open. The bartender for that night had been in the bar the night before and, I quote (because really, it's not too verbose or complicated), "I work tomorrow." She didn't show. So at 10:30 I had the honor of calling a new acquaintance and asking if he'd work. He has now earned those shifts he's been covering. Look at me, the problem solver though! Within 5 minutes I had things fixed. Now, let's just hope the real boss gets around to the firing... I am not doing that.

7. Juneau's dating pool is small. On Friday, when said flakey bartender was in, I got to have the pleasure of discussing with her something, or rather someone, we have in common. I figured out that she was dating the infamous Mr. A a bit ago. He and I had even discussed it very briefly, before I became stupid drunk because I do that around him. Apparently, nobody at all had mentioned to Miss FB (who has many wonderful qualities to make up for flakiness overall, we are friends) that he had been involved with me, that I had been involved with him, you know. I guess it makes sense, normal people don't ask, "So, who have you dated, anyone I know?" We then awkwardly agreed that we were ok with sharing that commonality, taking it as a compliment. It does seem that he is doing a much better job at being a boyfriend to her, though. Jerk.

8. It's not a myth. If you drink a zillion different types of alcohol, including barley wine, whiskey, vodka, white wine, red wine, and more whiskey... you will hate your life. You will drunk text. You will puke. You will be hungover and miss the superbowl. You will also be very bad at pool, but that was the least of my problems.

I think that's pretty good for life's lessons for today. It gives you an idea of what I've been up to AND teaches you that I am a dumbass, doomed to repeat my stupid actions, as I've done it time and time again. I think.

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