Saturday, February 28, 2009

Life on a Plateau

Has anyone else noticed how boring this blog is lately? Yeah. Sorry.

Life on a plateau: not that exciting.

Usually I might have some really exciting news. Or some really terrible news. Lately though, I've got only mundane sorts of news. Maybe I'll take to bulleting so you, my lovely reader(s) don't have to deal with excess words.

  • I applied for a job which I probably won't get, but I did make a special note informing the powers that be that if I'm not good enough for the job I really want, I'd accept the other job as well. Talk about being a confident woman!
  • I got my rook pierced. It's a part of the cartilage of the ear. I feel kind of badass. Moreso because I didn't cry or whine or anything. I've heard that redheaded women have a higher tolerance for pain than other categories of people.
  • I made an appointment to do that annual exam that women get. That's not so exciting as where it is though, the newly opened Planned Parenthood here in Juneau! Because it is so new, I had my choice of appointment dates and times. I tried to make an appointment with Public Health once and they had to schedule me a month out.
  • For the last three weekend days tending bar, I walked out with the same dollar amount in cash - to the dollar. I wonder what tonight holds? So far not a single person has walked in the door, but it's early yet.
  • I did get an invitation to attend the Shamrock 'n' Roll party, planned by Mr. HL and another legie I know. I was excited to get an invitation but I am having second thoughts about my relationship with the legies. I mean, I'm not a legie. I'm not banging a legie (so crass!). I'm not BFF with a legie. I'm not the relative of a legie. So YEAH, I'm a big D. So YEAH, I'm just as qualified to be up there as a number of these people. So YEAH, I'm technically good friends with at least a handful of legies. And YEAH, one time I was very briefly involved with a legie. But I kind of feel sick to my stomach doing the same high school self doubt thing - wondering if they really like me and really want me there.
  • I watched Breakfast at Tiffany's again today - I really do love this movie.
  • Yesterday the boss' bitch-is-crazy girlfriend told me I looked nice. Coming from her, it actually means: "You look less ugly than I usually think you look, I can't believe attractive men are interested in you in any way."
Well, that concludes the bullets and the blogging for the day. Most exciting of those bullets? Probably the piercing. That's right kids, I'm a pierced and tattooed young professional, who currently tends bar for a living.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

I'm going to write about assholes and vaginas, metaphorically and literally, in that order.

Day time bartending = not that awesome. For most of the day I was convinced that that $1 tip would be the only tip I'd receive. Luckily, later on more people with a little class showed up. Even the homeless guy tipped more than some of these assholes. Right now Miss J and Co. are here, so that means that I am in good company AND I will get tipped for making and pouring drinks. YESSSSSS!

I've been stuck doing random stupid crap most of the day, things like cleaning and organizing and picking staples off a wall in the cold. Yup, that's what I do with a college degree.

Last night when I got off I found another job for which to apply! Hip hip hooray! Now I just have to write a nice coverletter. Hate coverletters.

Last night I tried and failed, having two pints of cider and then watching Hamlet 2 instead. Amazing movie, by the way.

Today I broke away. I said EFF YOU to a few industries. This one's for the ladies - if you are male and/or squeamish about women's issues, don't read any further.

Today, I chose to give up buying tampons and I bought a Diva Cup. Basically, I will save a ton of money AND save the environment. If you aren't sure what this is, ladies, check it out and consider it. I just started using it, but I'm already impressed with the convenience and the fact that I will never have to go buy friggin' tampons ever again. No longer will I rely on cotton fiber and plastic, no longer will I fill landfills with such nonsense, no longer will I have to flush or toss non-bio-degradable materials. I am free!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Best Supporting Roommate goes to: ME

My roommate and her boyfriend broke up. She's been on a "bender" since. As a good roommate, I am being supportive and that means joining her on this bender.

On Sunday, my roommate's Friday, I got Miss P to cover my shift and I went home to get ready for the Oscars Night Party at the 'Vous. I stole Miss J's junior year prom dress from her closet and teased and pinned the hair into a french twist. I walked down the hill, wind blasting, and showed up at the party to discover a decent crowd for Sunday night and a decent amount of formal wear. Also, one of the most annoying people I know, but whatever. I didn't get too crazy, actually, nor did anyone else at that event. Once the Oscars were over, Miss A headed to the Hangar to close a tab and do some damage control while I headed over to the Imperial for my first night at church in a long time.

Miss J was there with Miss M and Mr. M and some other great people. Plus one of my all time favorite bartenders works on Sundays. More drinks were had and lots of fun and silliness. I took lots of pictures. We also went back to the 'Vous at some point for one last round of drinks. Somehow this was supposed to all be very exciting, but in all honesty, it was just like most any other night, aside from the fact that Miss J was super drunk and I was wearing a prom dress. I guess one of the highlights of the night was when I won a Budweiser carry-on bag for "Biggest Understatement of the Year" for saying something that was, indeed, a gross understatement.

When I woke up on Monday, I discovered a text message from Miss J. I called her and she told me she was at the 'Vous because Miss M was working. As I said, as best supporting roommate, I am spending time with Miss J and doing what Miss J does, so that meant going to the 'Vous as well. I started out slow, having one drink, taking Miss J's car home, having another drink, drinking water. But one must know that starting drinking at 2pm will eventually get you drunk. Miss E came out, her sister and sister's boyfriend were in town. We had a pretty good crowd going at the bar for an early afternoon. At some point we ditched this bar and hit up the Alaskan, then hit up the Triangle, etc. I was really drunk at this point and will admit to the following really embarrassing things:

  • Asking someone I went on one date with why we didn't go on another. Awkward. Especially awkward since I suggested we try again and he told me he's dating someone.
  • Telling a brand new acquaintance whom I barely know that she is my hero, showering her with compliments and nonsense that I've probably made up.
  • Telling this same new acquaintance about my stupid crush and stupid history with Mr. HL.
  • Playing pool really horribly, not coming anywhere near hitting balls and not being anywhere near coordinated enough to properly aim.
Didn't I recently talk about lessons learned, re-learned, and lessons that I really ought to have learned by now? Wasn't one of those lessons related to drinking and being an idiot? Hmmm.

Today I had a rather wretched hangover but managed to get my ass out of bed to hang out with Miss J, eat cold pizza and tomato soup and soda crackers, and watch some episodes of Angel, because watching the entire Buffy series wasn't nerdy enough.

Now I am working but it is another slow night. Apparently people don't think "Bergmann" when they think "Fat Tuesday" and "boob flashing" and "beads." I do have beads. Three strands. If I do get a flasher, I'll be prepared.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

The Problem with: the Job, the Friend, the Ex

Unofficially and underpaid-ly, I am the manager of the bar I work at. I do it because we, the bartenders, all benefit from the place being managed. If I do things like scheduling and inventories and orders and pricing and policies and organizing events - WE ALL BENEFIT. And as a bartender as well as unofficial and underpaid manager, that means I benefit. That is how I justify doing what I do.

One of the things I've taken on doing is making sure the bar opens every single day, at least relatively on time, and stays open until close unless there is no hope. This has involved me taking on more shifts, scheduling people to do different shifts, hiring people to take on shifts, and most recently removing a person from a shift. Let's not call it firing, let's call it, encouragement to step down from a responsibility too great for the current abilities and availability of the employee at hand.

This bartender who has been flaky at best? She's a friend of mine. I like her a lot. She is a great person to talk to, to hang out with, and we've had many a good time. That's why there was no way to say: "Um, you are fired." Instead we had an easy talk about whether it was a commitment which could be kept, if there was another shift that might work better, and it was decided that she'd be an on-call bartender rather than a scheduled bartender. This means that I won't have to call people frantically at 10:30pm when I hear that the bar hasn't opened. I will probably have to have the talk with one other bartender who apparently chose to work at his other job rather than at the bar, all without any sort of communication. But I can't really hold it against him since I'm only unofficially the manager and scheduler. Hmm. Maybe I need a t-shirt made.

So, right, that's the problem with the job and the friend. Here is where we get to the friend and the ex. Yeah, they're dating. I've mentioned that. So, she came in last night to work, we had that talk and I took the shift, so I poured her a beer and we started talking. We talked about a bunch of stuff and were having a pretty decent conversation spanning from work and school to, eventually, the man we have in common. I think I tried to candy coat it to the world, I was head over heels for Mr. A and tolerated a lot of stuff I should not have tolerated. I wanted to think that if I persevered, he'd find the time and energy to be what I knew he could be, but it didn't work out that way. Once I had grown so bitter about it, once all my friends declared hatred of him, he wanted to be a better man. Too little, too late. This friend, she tells it like it is, she wasn't blinded by her own emotions and her own relationship with him - she saw that the relationship he and I had shared was a shit show vs. their little lovey dovey romance. While we were talking about the bad I saw versus the good she sees, who walks in? Yup. Because having to have the "maybe you shouldn't work here/this shift" talk wasn't difficult enough.

So, then, for a thankfully brief period of time, it was me, her and him. Talk about "three's company."

Later I was joined by many other customers and friends, off and on, most notably, perhaps, some of the "young lawyers' support group" who managed to get fairly intoxicated on Red Breast and, well, "Who throws a muddler, anyway?"

I also had Miss EM and her boyfriend in. They declared it their favorite bar, as many do, and I discovered that Miss EM may, in fact, be my soul mate. I'm sure her fiancee doesn't really mind. We are thinking about collaborating and making a comic. I've never done a collaboration again, but it seems exciting. I know, you are all thinking, "how do you expect to collaborate on a friggin' comic when you can't even update your very own comic regularly?" But really, I have a valid excuse this time, Wordpress hates me and I couldn't get it to insert the images into my posts. I'm hoping it was a brief hiccup in system function and that, as soon as I am finished here, I can update the comics I've most recently made. For rizzle.

Back on the subject of the YLS Group, we had a fairly raucous and hilarious conversation - fairly loud - in which it was determined that I should not go to law school or grad school. One, a Mr. T Jd declared that I should run for office (the position held by Rep. Munoz) and swore to pay for my bus pass (since I am opposed to living in the valley). I know that I have a couple votes, at least, except they probably live downtown. Well, I'll give my political career some time. I think they may be some of my favorites after this night - I can't properly describe how hilarious they all were, especially when Mr. T Jd threw the muddler. Baffling.

Over all, it wasn't the busiest night, though I made as much in tips as I had the night prior, to the cent. It was, however, a delightful night. The company was good and who cares if it isn't packed? I mean, it's more exciting when it's packed, but having good company counts as exciting as well.

Another thing that must be pointed out is that I went treasure hunting at Salvo and St. Vinny's with Miss A and Miss C - I found some real gems: A pair of satin pumps which can only be described as neon watermelon. Also, Miss A and I both walked away with Dominic dolls, dubbed by us to be "South Beach Ken" dolls. Can you just picture it? I'll probably post a photo some time. I also picked up four great books for only $0.40 and a pink mesh closet organizer trimmed with pink maribou. Amazing.

That was pretty much it for my weekend. Nothing terrible exciting. Much like my life in general, which has hit a plateau of sorts, there's no up or down so much as just easing through. In a sense, it is lovely, in another sense, it is dull. Here's hoping for adventure in the future!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Mmmm, fire.

I've been "Guest Starring" at the Rendezvous some lately. A shift here, a shift there. The new weekday schedule is much better than the consistent 8-2, 2-8, 8-close schedule that used to afflict all days of the week, now just weekends. I'm there right now. And I am bored. Yesterday people came in to drink, today, nobody. Boo.

I figured with all this down time I should post a comic or two. Or three. But wordpress would have it otherwise. Yup, that's right. I blog all over the place: here, wordpress, hell, I once had a livejournal! Anyway, usually it works wonderfully, but right now I can't seem to get my comics in my posts and it is very frustrating. Lucky for me, I'm still in a pretty good mood from last night.

Last night after I got off work I ran home for a bit to change in time for a Rotaract meeting. Both before and after that for a spell, I was at the Bergmann with Miss P, enjoying some delightful beverages. Once I had finished showing Mr. K the ropes and receiving quite the compliment from quite the badass, I went home to get on some warmer clothes (yeah, that was another costume change) so I could go to a bonfire on Sandy Beach.

I went with Miss B, her roommate, and assorted gents to meet up with Miss MJ and Mr. JB and whomever else might be around. It was a pretty small group but we had fun. There's something so lovely about a nice little bonfire on a sandy beach under a clear and star-filled sky. It may have been cold, but we had warmth in our bellies from alcohol and the heat from the fire. The fire stayed pretty small, but at some point we did burn a wooden and wicker chair. We roasted hotdogs and marshmallows, talked, stoked the fire, and gazed at the stars.

I caught a ride back to downtown around 2am with Mr. JW, who is back in town. I say he is back in town but there is a good chance he has never before been mentioned in this blog. He's played a role in some stories way back in the day, back when Mr. C was an actor. Now, I'm pretty sure I've gone through and renamed someone else Mr. C without any explanation, but such is the way of this blog. I aim to confuse!

Tonight is a grand opening for the Planned Parenthood here in Juneau! For such a liberal community, many of us are amazed with the trouble it took to get a Planned Parenthood here. I don't think I'll be able to go, but I wish I could. It'll be great for the community. I am going out to dinner with my roommate, Miss J, this evening, assuming either of us have money for something so frivolous since this morning's rude awakening. As I was heading off to work, I discovered a notice on our door, it was a threat to shut off our electricity. What? In all my time living with Miss J, she has always paid the bill on time, no worries. Suddenly, we get a notice claiming we owe some exorbitant (but not unfathomable) sum of money (I think we may still be on diesel, thanks to that avalanche) and that if we don't pay up in 5 days, we'll be shut down. Miss J is going to take care of it right after work, so then we'll have electricity. Maybe we'll appreciate that so much we'll cook on our electric stove instead of going out to eat.

Since my whole weekend is consumed by working, I think that I will make tonight another of my weekend nights. The other being last night. It is open mic at the Alaskan and Mr. K will be working at the Bergmann. Definitely a nice night to go out and have a little fun.

On a somewhat nostalgic note, I've heard that smell is the strongest trigger of memory. That being said, the smell of bonfires and woodsmoke reminds me of the summer, specifically the time during the summer when I was dating Mr. MM. Such a great month-ish of my life, really. I guess I'm partially getting nostalgic because I am not involved with anyone right now and may be just the slightest bit lonely. It's nothing overwhelming though, overall, my feeling about most things in life is pretty level. No strong emotions in any direction.

Regarding dating - I did send a text message to Mr. HL inviting him to the bonfire, I think he would have gladly come along had it not been on a weeknight. Thing is: come or not, would he be coming more for the bonfire? Probably. I was happy to have received a nice friendly response, since we haven't been in contact all that much recently. Alas, he's probably just not that into me, but I may still entertain my little hopes and dreams of a session-long fling with Mr. HL. Don't worry, I'm not about to do anything desperate. I've got dignity, damn it!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Success in measures.

If I can't be a legie, damn it, I will be the bartender for the legies!

I remember the stories of the legislature in the past, of how deals were made or broken in the Baranof hotel and bar, how outside of the capitol, things really happened. That culture is mostly dead today, but the legies still flock together to bars.

For some reason, the Triangle has always been a favorite. Why? Tradition, I guess. Long before it was taken over by the haggard and belligerent, it was the legies. The Baranof is another favorite, but the Baranof is overpriced and overrated. Who wants to pay a dollar more per drink, just to sit in a snooty hotel bar? Not me. I guess some of the legies don't mind it. The Alaskan draws in the legies, though a lot of the regular Alaskan crowd resents this. I've seen them at the 'Vous a time or two.

The Bergmann though, the Bergmann is perfect. It's quiet, sort of out of the way, but no big trek from the capitol. It has a nice atmosphere, a great scotch collection, and most nights of the week, it has me.

I should be a draw because I'm a solid bartender. I should also be a draw because I'm smart, because I'm politically savvy, because I know legies and they know me. It may take a little time and a little networking, but if I can't be in there in an office, working my little ass off, I'll be here, getting legies drunk, making their martinis and manhattans, pouring their beers and preparing their scotch.

My day will come, someday.

Sweet sleep.

After having worked a a zillion hours during the weekend, it was a relief to take some time off on Monday. It was a lazy day, as was today, spent watching the end of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series. Am I embarrassed? Apparently not enough to exclude that from my blog.

I don't have much to say about the last few days. Sunday I worked and then closed at regular bar close and went down to the 'Vous for a going away party for Miss T. It was quite the night, as people had lots of energy and I saw the Rendezvous' dance floor transformed into something out of the Viking or Imperial. Full of dancing to hip hop and today's hits. So strange, but very fun. I think the best part was seeing punk rocker Mr. H jumping up and down and dancing to Pussy Cat Dolls. Or seeing the Irish lass teach others how to do Irish step dancing to Flogging Molly. Overall, it was a more amusing night than I had imagined.

Now I'm at the Bergmann and I ALMOST had a customer. A guy came in and looked around, said he was supposed to meet people here at 6, then said he had to go make a phone call, then just now popped his head back in. No friends so apparently no customers. Boo.

I guess I can be productive at some point. Maybe doing inventory or something really and truly exciting.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

The Grapevine: Fermented

I'm working at the 'Vous today. Another of those day shifts I forgot I didn't really miss. I sold one beer to a man I had to kick out a few drinks in - it's hard to gauge if a person is really intoxicated when they first walk in before the clock hits noon. Or eleven. When he started too do the droopy head bit, I snagged the beer and shooed him away. He's tried to come back a number of times, but it takes only a shake of the head and a wave of a hand to get him to totter back out onto the street. I also sold two dollars worth of pull tabs. Oh, such a glorious day. It's cold too, my hands are thinking about going completely numb.

Oh, and I woke up ten minutes before I was supposed to be at work, and that was less than 3.5 hours after I went to bed.

Now, last night, yesterday - Valentine's Day - was an OK day. I worked at the boutique for a little bit, nothing exciting, but after that I headed up to the Berg to tend bar. I had a lot to look forward to. I had had a friend who works as a legislative aide request that they hold a V-day event there. With Jell-o shots. I got the owner to buy some alcohol and some Jell-o and I got to work. Early in the night I had some customers, including some friends and acquaintances and a group of bar-hopping Arizonans.

The bar-hopping Arizonans consisted of two men and a woman, ages ranging from late 30's to early 50's I'd guess. They racked up a tab of roughly $50, including my nights special beverage, a raspberry chocolate martini which I made up for the occasion. They were friendly and fun, but when the tab was closed and signed, I was disappointed to find a blank in the tip section and just a little scribbled signature. I had even shared my new recipe! The fellows started heading out and the woman stayed back a moment and chatted, asking at some point if the guys had taken care of me. Awkward as it may have been to say, I answered honestly: No. She went and after a few moments came back with a cash tip. What a lady.

A newer acquaintance, Miss NW, was in for a bit, we talked about music a bunch and she introduced me to Pale Young Gentlemen (lovely stuff), and Andrew Bird. We sampled some jell-o shots when they were solidified and then I found myself alone at the bar again. I waited and waited, beginning to fear that I had made about 50 jell-o shots for nothing.

I am guessing that the flakey bar-tendress had stated intentions of working that night, which she didn't, but I think I'm right in believing it was another no-call-no-show sort of thing because her boyfriend, AKA Mr. A, came in. I don't think he'd have stopped by to chat with me. He just stayed for one drink and then headed out. Kind of awkward. At least I didn't get shit-faced upon seeing him. So, the funny thing was that Mr. A mentioned that he heard the Bergmann was the place to be for the night. It's funny to hear that the bar you are working is the place to be when the number of people in the room can be counted on one hand. Missing a finger or two.

Finally, around 11:15 or so, people started to filter in. They filtered quickly. Suddenly the Bergmann was packed full of lawyers and legies and other professional types, all letting loose. All the jell-o shots were consumed, along with numerous other shots, martinis, manhattans, beers, cocktails, and whatever else. Between the hours of 11:15 and 2:15, the Bergmann was packed. Apparently Downtown Proper was dead, but I had my hands full pouring drinks and tossing out Jell-o shots and chatting with the clientele. Mr. HL showed up along with some others. I still have a crush on him, though things are not going anywhere. I found myself all jealous that he left with Miss AM, whom I think is fantastic. I don't think there is anything going on there, based on my interactions with her, but that doesn't mean that he isn't madly in love with her and not at all interested in me. Oh well. I will probably just will myself to get over it.

The place cleared out in time for me to clean up quickly. I was just about to head out when Mr. EE showed up. As a sort of partner to the owner, he sort of has some special privileges. I stuck around for one more drink and chatted with that crew about things like socialism and healthcare and third world countries. Should have just gone home though, responsibility sometimes fails me.

Up next today, I will be going to the Wearable Arts Show - assuming I get my ticket... hmm. Then I work at the Bergmann again. It'll probably be another dead night, but I'm hoping some people will show!

Friday, February 13, 2009

I am, how you say, brilliant...

Friday, February the 13th, 3:17 am, location: Cemetery.

Morbid, no? Spooky, no? Wait, yes. Accidental? Also yes. Post open mic at the Alaskan, I went with Miss B to her place, which I had not yet visited. After watching way too many episodes of Sex and the City, I decided it was time to wander home, tired, through the dark winding streets of the hills of Juneau.

I was a community organizer in Juneau's 3rd House District, I've walked these streets and one might think that I'd know my way around. Well, somehow, I suck at this knowing where I am and where I'm going thing. I took a wrong-ish turn and wandered down ice laden streets until I found myself at the Cemetery.

The nice thing about finding myself at the cemetery was that I knew exactly how to get my cold self home. The not so nice thing about finding myself there was that it was sort of eerie. Usually I'm not easily spooked, but there's something about such superstitious days as today. Getting lost in a neighborhood I technically know? Bad luck, perhaps.

So far I haven't had any other poor luck today, but I'm certainly not as productive as I'd have hoped. Also still no word on jobs or any such nice things. One of these days I have to suck it up and write a bunch more cover letters, hoping that someone sees me fit to hire.

Other things of note include a very busy Wednesday night. Went out with Miss E and stayed out 'til the wee hours. Thursday was a much more relaxed day, partially due to hangover, partially due to being poor. I did hit up open mic, as I noted, but had only one drink and sipped on water the rest of the time.

I've got some lovely ideas for comics, based on my Wisconsin trip. So look out for some new ones! I have discovered that sometimes I lack inspiration, so perhaps I should ask for suggestions like Kate Beaton does...

Thursday, February 12, 2009

It tasted of light beer and cheese curds...

I tasted the Midwest and it tasted of light beer and cheese curds.



I just returned yesterday from a trip to the "Eau C" or what is more commonly known as Eau Claire, Wisconsin. A born and raised West Coaster, I was sure I'd want nothing to do with that flat place further from an ocean than I had ever been before. Well, it wasn't all that bad. Not about to move there, but I did enjoy my trip.



I was supposed to see my friend Miss AB, but she was struck down with an affliction worthy of an emergency room visit the day before I was to arrive. I was hoping to fit in a visit at the end of the time in the Midwest, but heard nothing from her. As an optimist, I assume she is still alive.



I did spend a great deal of time with my friend, Miss HA, who I met my first summer in Juneau. It is funny how many strange connections there are to the Eau C - I was directed where to go by some Sconnie friends here in town, I discovered I had more friends there than I thought, and it turns out that Mr. HL went to school there and used to work at the sketchiest bar on Water Street, the Pickle.



Alcohol was cheap and flowed plentifully in Wisconsin. With the lowest liquor taxes, well drinks (or rail drinks, as they are there called) range from $1.75 to $2. Compare that with the $4.50 price tag on cheap booze in a plastic bottle here, and you have discovered an alcoholic's paradise. Or a lush's paradise, as I prefer to consider myself a lush. It just sounds nicer.



I found that there were bars ranging from Alaskan-esque to Viking-esque, and everything in between. Plus there was no lack of sketchy bars selling bait alongside beer. It was another of those big sprawled out box towns with suburbs galore. It was fairly pretty, despite lacking evergreen trees and being rather flat and far from an ocean. The neighborhoods were quaint and the people were nice. I did see a pawn shop with a valentine's day special: Buy diamond, get a gun free. WOW. I would expect that in, oh, Texas?

I think it is best that I not go into detail on things like the bachelorette party or the wedding, except to say that the bachelorette party was fun and fairly debaucherous while the wedding was very sweet and the reception was fun, and fairly wholesome. Did you know that Wisconsin tradition dictates that MILK be served at the reception dinner? Miss MM's socialite family sniggered at this cultural oddity, but I will call it quaint.

The highlight of that night was almost pouring scalding black coffee on another bridesmaid and myself. Boasting of my beverage serving abilities as a bartender did not make me graceful when it came to the stubborn coffee pot. The lid stuck and then the coffee poured out in a great dark wave onto the white table linens, barely stopping before it could reach our pastel dresses. Leave it to me.

On that note, I think I'll call this post complete.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Life's Lessons re-Learned

1. No news is: NO NEWS. The news I did receive is that I did not get the legie job. Probably just as well since I think I may have gone all bitch-is-crazy with some drunk text message to Mr. HL. Hoping for a chance to prove that I'm not insane, but maybe I should just dig around for the book Miss L so unceremoniously thrust at me back in the days of Mr. A: He's Just Not That Into You.

2. Don't drunk dial or text or e-mail or facebook or, really, you probably just shouldn't even talk. I think that's explained in the last one though, so I won't elaborate further.

3. I used to think that the line, "Guys are like kleenex, use 'em once and toss 'em out." was hilarious. I'm thinking it should be more like this: "Nice guys are like kleenex, sometimes you really need 'em (usually because you are bawling your eyes out over a pint of Ben and Jerry's because of some dick)." This doesn't mean I've really learned a lesson, I'll probably still go for the d-bags over the nice guys, even though it is stupid. One has no control over basic attraction, right?

4. Procrastination is a bad idea. I thought I was procrastinating by waiting until just over a week ago to take my bridesmaid dress in for alterations. The alterations were no big deal, but still, it's a wedding, the bride is one of my best friends from college, she's usually mellow but brides can be lethal if the wedding is threatened. So, I should have stopped in on this most recent Friday to pick it up, but I figured it could wait until Monday. Then on Monday, I lost track of time and determined that I'd be okay to pick it up Tuesday morning. Well, this morning when I went to pick it up, Rae's shop wasn't open. Mini panic attack: begin. I get calmed down, reassured that she'd open later in the day, maybe 11 or 11:30. Not to worry. So, I drop off Miss J at her class and drive back downtown to pick up the dress, only to discover that Rae hadn't started it yet. Resume panic attack. She said she could do it in an hour and, true to her word, she did. I also procrastinated and, since our washing machine has been broken, I had to do laundry at Miss J's parents' house in the few hours before I was leaving. Got the last load dried and in my suitcase just in time to head to the airport. I think the reason I never learn the procrastination lesson is because things usually still work out for me.

5. Plan ahead. My plans for the week are less than solid. I didn't even know the exact time my plane was leaving Juneau until less than 3 hours before it left. Plans are changing too, looks like I'll be going straight to Eau Claire, WI instead of hanging out with Miss AB in Minneapolis. Poor thing is headed to the hospital for a procedure, hope to catch her on my way back to Alaska. Lucky me, another of the bridesmaids is on the same flight. I figure I can just follow her lead and get my butt to EC without having had to plan a thing. Again, maybe the reason I never learn this lesson is because stuff just works out for me a lot of the time.

6. Some people are just... flakey. And let me tell you, flakey is only good for biscuits. On Saturday night (before I became stupid drunk enough to drunk text Mr. HL) I had an acquaintance comment that the Bergmann was once again not open. The bartender for that night had been in the bar the night before and, I quote (because really, it's not too verbose or complicated), "I work tomorrow." She didn't show. So at 10:30 I had the honor of calling a new acquaintance and asking if he'd work. He has now earned those shifts he's been covering. Look at me, the problem solver though! Within 5 minutes I had things fixed. Now, let's just hope the real boss gets around to the firing... I am not doing that.

7. Juneau's dating pool is small. On Friday, when said flakey bartender was in, I got to have the pleasure of discussing with her something, or rather someone, we have in common. I figured out that she was dating the infamous Mr. A a bit ago. He and I had even discussed it very briefly, before I became stupid drunk because I do that around him. Apparently, nobody at all had mentioned to Miss FB (who has many wonderful qualities to make up for flakiness overall, we are friends) that he had been involved with me, that I had been involved with him, you know. I guess it makes sense, normal people don't ask, "So, who have you dated, anyone I know?" We then awkwardly agreed that we were ok with sharing that commonality, taking it as a compliment. It does seem that he is doing a much better job at being a boyfriend to her, though. Jerk.

8. It's not a myth. If you drink a zillion different types of alcohol, including barley wine, whiskey, vodka, white wine, red wine, and more whiskey... you will hate your life. You will drunk text. You will puke. You will be hungover and miss the superbowl. You will also be very bad at pool, but that was the least of my problems.

I think that's pretty good for life's lessons for today. It gives you an idea of what I've been up to AND teaches you that I am a dumbass, doomed to repeat my stupid actions, as I've done it time and time again. I think.