Thursday, December 11, 2008

La-la-la-la-la-I'm-Not-Listening-la-la-la

When I got off work last night I went straight to the bar. I needed to do it.

No, silly, not because I was desperate for a drink, but because Miss P was working. The Bergmann was quiet last night and I got to have Miss P's undivided attention as we dove into yet another of those deep and meaningful conversations we so often have.

We talked about work and careers and jobs and the future. We talked about love and lust and relationships. We talked about the very nature of advice.

I put it out there to everyone that I wanted advice. "Please," I asked, "tell me what to do!" Yet when I received the advice I found myself frustrated and saying, "No, no, no, no, no." Here I am, begging for advice, and then I hate it, I reject it, I say, "la-la-la-la-la-not-listening-la-la-la-la-la" to the generous advisers and givers of wisdom or, at the very least, the answer they got when they flipped the coin. Well, luckily for me, Miss P was wise enough to share with me her theory on advice. What her theory did for me was to realize that asking for advice is fine and great, but pay attention to your reaction to the advice, more than the advice itself... therein lies your answer.

After yesterday's post and yesterday's discussions, it has become pretty obvious to me what the right decision for me is. Though I had never wanted to get "stuck" someplace, though I had wanted to move to some big exciting city, there is no denying that I am in a very good place right now and that I am not crazy to want to stick with it. The opportunities I am afforded in Juneau are greater than the opportunities I could have in DC. DC as a legislative aide would be a great opportunity, sure, but in a different way than I really want. If I wanted to rub elbows with big politicians and be a staffer for a zillion years, that would be my opportunity. If I want to make some change and see myself challenged and move up in a field, my best bet is to stick around here.

Miss P and I didn't just figure out my life though, we also played pool, concocted new and exciting drinks, and rocked out to music.

Since the Bergmann was so slow that night, we decided to take the last hour of bar time to go to another bar. We headed to the 'Vous, where some of our friends were spending their night, and we had an enjoyable final 45 minutes. Some notable interactions from midnight to 1am:

-The whirlwind relationship with a writer, a relationship which never began, but ended at least three times, and included a tender farewell, complete with a forehead kiss.

-Mr. WE discovering that he has been, when attempting to call me, calling someone else entirely, possibly leaving drunken messages.

-Vowing to have an Xtra-Tuf decorating party to avoid problems like the camping trip when one had to find his/her own boots out of 5 pairs. Now, if only Xtra-Tufs had a color other than Copper/Tan....

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