Monday, December 15, 2008

Domestic Duties

Miss J and I are both stubborn people. Determined people? That sounds nicer.

Miss J and I both hate doing dishes, or really, any sort of domestic duties.

The consequences are dire. The apartment had become an eyesore, an embarrassment, and possibly a health hazard?

My stubbornness lapsed and I determined that I would clean the place, even if the dishes weren't my doing.

When I discovered my Friday shift at the Bergmann had been high-jacked, I went home and was encouraged to do something about the awful mess by a wise and benevolent Miss C. Once I got started, the process wasn't as bad as I had feared, but trust me when I say, IT WAS BAD.

I donned the yellow rubbery gloves and an iron will when I took to the task. I braced myself and I poked at the dishes in the sink. When I wasn't attacked by anything evolved from the mold, I began the process.

I washed three months worth of dishes, it took hours. I even sent a warning text message to Miss J, reading "If it is cheap plastic or has at least one inch of mold, it is being thrown away." I really did throw away dishes, glassware, and creatures from the black lagoon (new nickname for the sink?). I thought one particular pot was salvageable, but when I dry heaved from the vapors rising from the disturbed muck, I dropped it unceremoniously into the trash can.

On a roll, I decided to clean out our overstuffed refrigerator as well. It is now bare. It contains various condiments, plus groceries I bought the day following, excited at the prospect of using our kitchen for its intended purpose (cooking) rather than farming mold. The trophy toss-away? A bottle of mustard with an expiration date of March of 2006. Amazing.

Now, I am often frugal (but not stingy) and green (so frugal isn't as easy as it sounds), so don't think I didn't balk at the idea of throwing away recyclables and reusables and perfectly good pots and dishes and glasses. What it comes down to is this: I will not submit myself to deadly molds and vomiting over the environment. Sorry, earth. At least I work for a non-profit saving your oceans.

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