Sunday, October 12, 2008

The worst hangover story:

We all hear that binge drinking is terrible... terrible for your liver, your life, your brain cells, etc. But we still do it. Even when I swear I won't do it, it happens. Ben has been encouraging us to participate in this particular event and I was trying to figure out which of my past hangover stories might be the worst, because there are many.

There have been many, both in my college years and in the year and a half since my college years. Some worse than others. Every time it happens, I tell myself, "NEVER AGAIN," but for some reason there is always another night with alcohol flowing freely (well, not free - rather expensively - but you know what I mean), when bad decisions come easily. Another drink? Why certainly!?! Dancing? Of course! Go home with you? Ummm. Okay? Uh oh.

So, Friday night had potential. Once I got off I had plans made with Miss C, so I ate my leftover stir-fry from lunch with Miss J and primped a bit before meeting Miss C and heading down to the bars. We went to the Alaskan where a band was playing, and we started off with doubles, because I'm classy like that. Ran into tons of people I knew, which was nice. I ended up running around talking to everyone, focusing my attention on no one person, and as usual leaving people to their own devices, and similarly leaving myself to my own devices.

The problem that arose was that, well, my love life is a mess, and every time I go out, I am reminded. The former fling, Mr. CG is apparently head over heels for a girl, wants to move cross country with her, and apparently wants to marry her. Mr. A was out, which poses a problem because he wants to be with me sometimes even now that the last thing I need is to be with him, prompting me to disappear frequently. The best friend of Mr. HG was out and we ended up dancing some and maybe I was mistaken, but I am pretty sure there was at least one attempt at a kiss, which is super awkward since, well, his best friend and I have had a thing off and on and off and on since... almost a full year ago.

For some reason, this all got to me, it made me drink more in an attempt to make things less awkward? In an attempt to get rid of what was going on? For some reason I consumed enough drinks in little enough time that I sort of... blacked out. Maybe I made it until bar close. Maybe I didn't. Maybe I didn't make it to my actual home until... morning. Maybe I had the worst hangover of my life...

So, about that horrible hangover. I don't have days off. Ever. I will have my next day off the day after the election. Hopefully. So, anyway, this means that when I do stupid things and ought to sleep off the effects and nurse a bottle of Smart Water or maybe that Urban Detox stuff, what I actually have to do is take my tired, dehydrated, aching self to work. And on weekends, work is canvassing. So, I tried to sleep for a half hour, then try to dress myself as comfortably as possible in as little time as possible, try to make my hair look like it wasn't matted and dirty. Basically, I looked like a real Alaskan. I looked like a real Alaskan who was miserable and late for work.

So, after a half hour of listening to the boss complain about me showing up late, smelling gasoline from Mr. AT's adventure to refuel the car, and trying to fight the aching and the nausea, we went to the valley to canvass. First we went and got food. McDonald's. I ate half of the food I got and then felt just as nauseated and decided to leave the rest for later. We went to the parking lot of the Glacier cafe where I insisted on staying in the car, leaning over an empty McDonald's bag, considering wretching. Then we drove further to where we would be canvassing. I insisted, once again, on staying in the car. I curled up in the back seat of the Taurus, with the bag, just in case, and I tried to sleep it off. That's right, kids.... I curled up in the back seat of the car in a residential neighborhood and I slept. Then I puked. Then I slept some more. I eventually felt a little better, so I did get some actual work done, but that is not the way to spend a hangover.

After work I went home and freshened up before meeting up with my roommate and friend Mr. M at his new apartment. We watched an episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia before everyone headed out to the bars. The plan was to not even set foot in a bar, especially since I had no makeup on, damp hair, and was wearing Ugg knock-offs and an Alaskan Brewing Co. sweatshirt. Somehow though, I was coerced. Miss J was out, Mr. M, Miss M, Miss S, Miss V, Miss B, Miss D, and all of these wonderful people I don't see enough. I grabbed a cup of water and joined the crowd, full of fun. Somehow, despite my insistence on not drinking and going home as soon as possible, I only managed to get one out of the two covered. Somehow I ended up with three free kamikazes... If only I had chosen Saturday instead of Friday. Miss J and I left at 10:00pm and went home to watch some nerdy TV on DVD before going to bed at a reasonable hour.

Today I was back to normal, but I had a slightly amusing run in with someone I had met on Friday night while fetching myself a bagel for breakfast this morning. Ohhhhh heeeeeyyyyy, stranger. How are you doing this fine morning? No further comment need be made. Canvassing today was a piece of cake and when I get off work I am driving Miss J's car home, hanging out with Miss L before she flees the country, and then picking up Miss J before going to bed.

Tomorrow, Mr. AT is leaving for Ketchikan. We are celebrating his sending off with some breakfast at the Sandpiper.

Then, tomorrow is day one of me and the boss. The boss and me. Nobody else. Oh. Dear. God. I don't even believe in a god, but I am invoking the protection of anything or anyone that may keep me sane.

Don't be a Jonze


Myron Davis said...

I'm pretty impressed, you definitely know how to make your life more interesting!!!

Ben said...

[...Let's check out the entries, shall we?...]