Sunday, October 5, 2008

I think I'm on a bender...

Courtesy of

Bender 180 up, 64 down love ithate it

A term commonly used to describe a period of time (preferably more than 24 hours) spent escaping life's harsh realities (marriage, work etc) Consumption of alcohol and drugs is a must. Anything goes.

Last night while I was walking to the bars with Miss L, we ran into Miss B and Mr. J. When asked what I was up to, I responded that I was on night 3 of 4 of a bender.


Between the real weekend and going away parties, my usual weekend has been extended to 4 days. This isn't entirely uncommon, but I've been drinking a bit more than I should. I recognize the reason, but for some reason that isn't enough to make me behave.

The problem is, everyone is gone and/or leaving. During the weekends, my place is at the bars, it sounds terrible, but that's where the excitement is, that's where my friends are, that's where the live music is. Now, I knew it was coming... I knew that the weekend would come when the crowds would be slim and the entertainment would be few and far between. I still know that eventually it will get ridiculously cold so the snot freezes in my nose and that my stumble from the bars will be more treacherous with a layer of ice on everything. Though I know these things in advance, it doesn't prepare me for the disappointment. It doesn't prepare me to deal with the urge to drink far more than I should.

Chances are, I can pull it together. Chances are, next weekend, I'll be much better behaved and I'll manage to avoid blacking out, terrible hangovers, and an empty wallet. This weekend though, the first weekend of the off season, it was rough.

Today I showed up to work an hour late. Pretty sure I was still drunk. In an attempt to avoid contact with Mr. A, who was at the Alaskan, I went back to the 'Vous where I ended up tagging along with Miss D, Mr. E, and Mr. JB to the Viking of all places. I gave Miss D my sunglasses since they suited her so well and I found my good ones, so she insisted on buying me drinks. I danced. I drank. I stumbled home and passed out with my clothes still on.

As bad as that sounds, I would like to point out the things I did not do last night:

I did not puke.
I did not fall.
I did not make out with someone.
I did not give out my number.
I did not drunk dial.
I did not take someone home.
I did not sleep with the ex.
I did not do any illicit drugs.
I did not spend obscene amounts of money.
I did not pee in public.
I did not lose anything.
I did not steal any purses.
I did not make a horrible ass of myself.
I did not wake up in a strange place.
I did not eat Pel'meni or döner kebab.
I did not go to an after party.
I did not skip work entirely.
I did not have any mysterious scrapes or bruises.

Therefore, the bender has been a relative success.

Tonight is Mr. H's going away party at the Alaskan. I'm going to run home and try to look less like I rolled out of bed, through on a fleece, and then worked all day. Then I am going to night 4 of 4 of the bender to see if I can turn down the inevitable offers of bushmills shots and kamikazes.


No comments: