Friday, October 10, 2008

Deal Breakers...

In a domino reaction of taking a cue from other bloggers, I am at least third in a chain of blogging about deal breakers.

I think about this a lot, and sometimes I am more serious about it than other times. There are things that would be nice, then there are things that are absolutely required. Then there are those things that, well, you believe you can instill in a person (but does that ever work?).

One thing I always thought would be a deal breaker: Having a kid. I've always thought the idea of dating someone with a kid was completely out of the question... I mean, people who have kids have BAGGAGE, right? People who have kids and are in my dating pool are... ummm... irresponsible? Scandalous? Not smart enough to use contraception? But really, that was just me being pretty ignorant, selfish, and scared. Several months ago I was getting a ride with an acquaintance who has since become a closer friend. When I got in the back, I noticed a car-seat and assumed he had borrowed his mom's car and I jokingly asked, "Jeez, how many kids do you have?" "One." Oh. I didn't cease friendship and eventually the possibility of more than friendship existed in my mind. I was uneasy about the concept of dating someone with a child, but for a number of reasons, I don't have the same fears I did before and this is no longer a deal-breaker. It certainly makes it harder for me to warm up to a fellow, but a great person is a great person.

Ambition. I think I limit myself greatly with this one. I've got great ambition, but can I really expect to find someone to date who has as much ambition as me? By those standards, he'd be on his way out!

Intelligence and a grasp of the english language (and some sexy foreign language might be nice too). Ever heard of intellectual sexiness? Someone who is smart and articulate and interesting can trump even the dreamiest looking idiot or "Joe Six-pack" in my mind. That being said, I still think that looks are important, but I once dropped a guy for replacing S's with Z's in some exchanged text messages. I can forgive the text message abbreviations, since each text costs money, but replacing an S with a Z is just... unforgivable. Also annoying; terrible spelling, atrocious grammar, and gross mispronunciation of words. Ick.

I really don't know if there is much else, but I will point out that I am fond of the following things on or about men, strange or not:

Beards
Foreign languages
Partner dancing (not skanky stuff)
Musicality
Higher Education
Glasses
Opinions
Passion (for a cause)

That last one has been known to cause trouble though. As attractive as I think it is, I have found myself taking a far second place to some of these causes. Not that I should come first, since I am not really at a point in my life at which serious dating is up there on my list... But it's hard to be the last thing on a guy's mind. Thanks to this campaign though, I may be just as guilty of such neglect.

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