The ever thicker cloud cover seems to stifle the sounds of the city.
But alas, it is the lack of city sounds that is to blame.
Autumn is here in every way.
Sean Tracey sat in a chair on the stage at the Alaskan with his guitar and harmonica singing to the smallest Friday night crowd I've seen in months. Since last winter, I suppose.
The Rendezvous, in comparison, was lively and full.
The need for girl talk was upon me, I don't get much since I spend the majority of my time hanging out with the boys. I called Miss B and we met for dinner at the Hangar. I then told her about the situation with Mr. CPP and the prospect of seeing Mr. MM again and how I was already turning it into a stressful situation. Post-dinner we went out to the quiet bars, eventually putting me at the Imperial (uh oh) for some dancing.
On top of the self inflicted stress over the CPP/MM situation, an acquaintance of mine decided he wanted to be flirtatious and while free drinks are always appreciated, the concept of juggling another boy with a heart bound to be broken was not appealing. I ended up stepping away with Miss P to chat a little, have a couple drinks, and to be introduced via pointing to a certain baby-mama. Once the lights turned on, sending the remaining party people out into the crisp night, I found myself smoking a bummed cigarette while chatting with more acquaintances, getting phone numbers of people I may or may not ever call, and then trying to steal some time with Mr. CPP.
Today I was contemplating our "relationship" and realized that it will likely cause me nothing but grief, since our interactions are such that we seem to get great pleasure out of mocking eachother, being contrary, and denying the other whatever it is they want. To give a real life example, we behave like those elementary school kids who pull hair to show affection. Therefore, I got a hesitant hug and got denied the requested kiss on the cheek.
Today was a canvassing day, we were out in the valley. I canvassed a guy who was disgruntled, to put it lightly. He basically harangued me for a sold 10 minutes about my beliefs and divulged far more information than I ever needed to know about his miserable existence. My gchat status, which is a big deal in the campaign office, reads as follows: (Melissa Leeanne): is sorry you have no marketable skills with which to obtain and keep a job, but she would like to remind you that it is the democrats who likely had the idea for those unemployment checks you are living on. Also, it's not pronounced Bidden - you ignorant prick.
At the next house with contacts, I chatted with a very friendly fellow Dem who, upon hearing that I had just been yelled at, pointed to the disgruntled man's home and asked, "was it that guy?"
Mr. A and I went to the Thai Kitchen for dinner and then Squire's for a beer. I stared at the harbor and enjoyed the progressing sunset. Earlier in the day I had sat at a pond filled with ducks, calm but for barely-there ripples in the reflection of the trees. I got a lot of enjoyment out of the quiet and the calm.
Tonight I will brave the bars again, hoping for a more lively crowd. The goal this time around is to avoid the fit of depression that struck last fall.
I've been in Juneau 16 months now. I already know the cycle. I already know the ins and outs of the love-hate relationship with the city.