I don't know if I'll make it out tonight. I want to, but I can't just seem to get the momentum going.
Today I spent all day at the boat show at a table representing my place of employment, but with the day as slow as it was, mostly I made origami, drew really intricate doodles, and wandered around in circles. I saw Mr. A briefly, as he showed up at the boat show. We talked for a couple minutes, it was more of the same apologetic talk of having no free time. Seeing him kind of put me in a funk, perhaps. I did like the bastard, and it is really frustrating that he doesn't seem to want to spend time with me. I called him this evening, thinking maybe I'd get to talk to him, perhaps make plans with him, but instead I ended up leaving a message and then being annoyed with myself for chasing him instead of playing by the rules. Chances are he'll show up at the Alaskan and I'll go to him and I'll be doting and dumb and we'll continue the pattern where we left off.
I was supposed to do something with Miss E tonight, but when I tried calling her this evening, she didn't answer. Today is one of those days when nobody seems to answer their phones, when nobody seems to pay any mind, and nobody seems to give a damn at all. Not everyone is like that. I just call all the wrong people. I bet if I had followed through on the tentative plans to see the play tonight, I'd be there right now watching the play with Mr. D. I bet if I had called Mr. CW earlier in the evening he'd have wanted to do something fun, he might still, I suppose, but I'm probably in an awful mood for fun right now anyway.
Last night Miss P and I had another adventure of sorts. It was supposed to start early in the evening, but I broke plans with both Mr. C and Miss P to go to a wine-tasting with Miss R after work. It was a pleasant early evening. We headed back downtown so Miss R could meet a deadline and so we could deliver some food to Miss K. Miss P met me at Miss R's and we walked to my place, talking all the while of grand plans for the cinematic future of Juneau. We were hanging out at home for a bit, but then I was feeling tired and wanted to get out and do things in order to wake myself up, I suppose. Somehow we were having an off night though and we couldn't properly socialize with any of our friends but Mr. M. Mr. M was drunk and accompanied us on our adventure to the Red Dog Saloon (aka the tourist trap) which actually has $4 beers until tourist season starts. Miss P and I were very giggly and dumb most of the night, or silent and awkward. We went home after we had attempted going most places and tried watching more Metalocalypse but couldn't get the computers to cooperate. We decided at this point that it was just a sign that we needed to go to bed.
Thursday had me out and about with Mr. AT, Mr. N, Mr. J, and Miss P, among other people who at least started the night with us. I went to the Triangle for the first time and found myself surrounded by legislative types. I drank some wine at the Hangar with Miss L, Mr. AT, and Mr. J (whose birthday it was). Before all of this though, there was swing dancing with Mr. D. His normal partner was gone, so he invited me to go along. I had initially had other things in mind, possibly going to trivia with Hot Lawyer and Beautiful Girlfriend, going to the gym with Miss AA, or some other such things, but this sounded like another good adventure, and it was. The highlight of the night was probably the swing dancing and the low of the night was definitely Mr. J being in a really low mood and bringing up some awkward stuff. Guess guys do talk about stuff... It was him being bitter and knowing that I suffered from the decision I made, ouch. I made sure he stayed around until he was reasonably sober but it was all really awkward. I hope he doesn't pull that crap again.
Wednesday after work I went to sushi with Mr. CW and had lots of sake and beer along with the really good sushi. I was definitely tipsy by the time I even got to the meeting and was pretty happy for that, since it was my first meeting not presiding. I still feel so weird about the change. I feel a little angry at the same time I feel relieved. So far, I don't feel like anything has changed, it is just a different person doing the same thing I did. Half of me hopes that things change and people are happy, the other half of me hopes that things remain the same and I can think bitterly about how they were wrong about me. I played a bit of pool with Miss A and got a ride home from Mr. CW, it was a pretty decent evening. I had considered remaining out later, but I was already kind of drunk and didn't need to get myself into any trouble.
In terms of work, things are fine. I think I am going to put in my two weeks notice on Monday. Should probably write that. I know it is kind of silly to put in my two weeks notice when I don't have a job lined up, but I don't want to work in the valley and so long as I can cash in my PTO and get my last paycheck, I can survive for about a month. I should find out about a job I interviewed for on Monday or Tuesday (cross your fingers, everyone) and if I get that, I'm set. If I don't, I have to go through all the effort of finding something else. At that point I'm tempted to work as a server or bartender to make money and then doing a part time internship to gain experience. I could do it...
Still debating about tonight... what should I do? Ahhhhh.