Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Monday, March 19, 2007

I want it all.

I've discovered recently that I want it all. I want to do everything, be everywhere, know everything, see everything, feel everything... you get the picture. Now, I am not really one to throw around the word impossible because that is a negative, but damn it, I know it is definitely impossible.

Yesterday I was being swayed by some friends to go to Alaska for the summer to work. While explaining my status as a maybe attendee I stumbled across an interesting concept. I felt like my longer term goals and my longer term plans were more important than my short term goals and plans. As a matter of fact, I don't have any short term goals or plans right now. I am so stuck on the long term that I am ignoring the short term.

The short term:
Write thesis.
Pay bills.
Renew library books.
Submit hours to get paid.
Read for class.
Finish assignments or at least work on them.
Work out.
Make lunch.
Remember appointments.
Friends' birthdays.

The long term:
Get a job career.
Go to grad school.
Work for the UN.

I'm not going to be harrassed by bill collecters, receive poor marks, starve, or lose friends if I don't find a career before I graduate... if I don't fulfill the short term, however things could get ugly.

I kind of suck at life.

Friday, March 16, 2007

I've made an amazing discovery!

...And if anyone actually read this blog, I might not have shared it for fear I would have more competition.

Actually, I hope all the world joins this site and does a lot of good things for the world, but stay away from my future jobs.

I was rejected from a certain program on whose acceptance to a certain next step I had been waiting. Rejection hurts, I did what any adult woman does: I called my mom. Actually, first I called one of my best friends who had actually been accepted to the program and left a sad, sad message on her voicemail, then I called my mom. I called my mom and I cried. I also made it sound like my life was over because I wouldn't be teaching kids in the inner city of whom I would likely be afraid. Apparently my family will dish out unconditional love, on the condition that I stop feeling sorry for myself...

This tragedy led me to realize that I didn't really want to be a teacher (even if I would have been damn good) and that I really just wanted to go to another new place and live a more exciting life than what I would probably have if I remained in or near my current location. This led me to bigger and better things, or smaller and worse paying things, depends on how this current job search rampage goes. I went back to another recruiter, similar to the recruiter which had recently rejected me, but it offers positions that are not necessarily teaching. For these positions I would receive money to live and possibly some other benefits. When I realized that living on less than $1000 a month in New York City, especially with my budgetary habits, would be near impossible, I managed to stumble over the website (praise google). That allowed me to find a number of other opportunities, some of which should pay at least a little more, though I don't know how much I'll lose to taxes, so maybe I'll still be living on less than $1000 a month in NYC. Ouch.

In any case, I've had varying degrees of success with this job search rampage... I've managed two phone interviews for the positions which will leave me scrounging for change on subways and I've managed to leave two messages and to receive a near promise to read an e-mail out of the more promising waged positions. I'm not letting this not-quite-success get me down. I talked to my mom again without the crying and self pity, got not only her unconditional love, but a hint that she may pay for me to go to NYC, stay in a hostel, and interview for positions. Whoa. That would be fantastic. All I have to do is solidify some real live interviews, even of the informational and therefore not going anywhere sort. One of these positions would even be directly related to my field of study. WHOA. I thought the closest I could ever get to working in IR would be reading the International News section of the New York Times while serving someone coffee or answering phones at a hardwood flooring company.

Monday, March 12, 2007

This is serious. Really, really serious.

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"DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?!?!?" I asked, holding a naked beer bottle in one hand and the removed label in the other. I was greeted with a blank stare. Then everyone laughed because I was so serious.

"It means you are sexually frustrated. And shut up."

I love champagne, rather sparkling white wine of the cheapest sort.

P.S. I learned to be patient over many years, but my patience is being severely tested by a certain program whose acceptance to a certain final interview I await. Certainly.

Friday, March 9, 2007


Today, I logged onto I do this pretty much everyday and on each day that I do this, the part of me that gets really annoyed with obnoxious internet ads (which is every grain of my being) considers never signing in again.

Today though, oh boy, I was not assaulted with comments in cartoonish voices when I accidentally scrolled over a banner ad, NO, I was assaulted with SEX.

The best thing about this ad is that the sex is completely unrelated. It is an ad for something that neither requires a person to be sexy nor to want sexy. It was an ad to become a "secret shopper!"

Here's the ad:

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So, notice that this ad is the work of someone with some skill in photoshop but absolutely no idea of how a slip dress would lie on a human body. Notice that the woman's hand is framing her vagina. Come on, you noticed, no time to get shy about this. Also, notice the carrot or less than sign that draws the eye between the nether regions of the woman and the link "CLICK HERE" and if that is not SEX in the media, I don't know what is.

Always read the fine print.

Those look like plastic Barbie legs. Mattel should sue... Maybe Adobe should sue for that poor photoshopping as well.

I'd like to thank Nacho for making it impossible for me to ever look at the media with an un-critical eye. I don't know if that is sincere or sarcastic. Really.